Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See here is the problem: you weren't fat back when he became attracted to you. Long term, the odds are poor for a marriage between a self accepting fat person and a partner who finds fatness unattractive. I certainly have lost attraction for my spouse who is over 45 pounds bigger than when we met and were married.

So if a guy loses his hair over the years, is it okay for his wife to dump him because she finds bald men unattractive?

Well the big difference is that hair loss is not within his control whereas weight control is 100% within her power.
Nonetheless, if she seriously is not attracted to his unavoidable hair loss, then she should clearly tell him and ask him to explore options for "treating" hair loss. If he refuses and she is just plain in attracted, then Yes she should leave him.

You have no idea of how the human body works. You bought the diet industry's line and swallowed it whole.

Educate yourself.

OP, don't listen to this idiot.

OK I would never condone cruelty towards someone because they are fat. It is doubly repulsive if it is coming from a spouse. That being said,, the number of people on this thread who are trying to claim that weight gain is outside of someone's control is also appalling. This woman may have too much on her plate right now to focus on her weight and health. That is her choice. But, fat people can lose weight if they exercise and cut calories. There is no rocket science to it. I am an internist and cannot tell you how many obese patients of mine claim they are sticking to rigid diets. It is NOT TRUE. How many obese people do you see in the developing world? As a society we are eating our way into chronic illness and early death with our horrible diets. Weight gain doesn't just "happen". You empower yourself if you take ownership of your life and choices.

Do the world a favour and find a new profession, if you're really a doctor, which I doubt.

The whole calories in / calories out has been debunked thousands of times.

There's just too much money going around in the diet industry for the whole thing to be unmasked for the lie it is.

I'm originally from a part of thr word where food is scarce..there are NO fate people NONE. Lee's food=less fat.

You Americans sure are "special". I be if a famine hit America you'd all just magical stay fat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See here is the problem: you weren't fat back when he became attracted to you. Long term, the odds are poor for a marriage between a self accepting fat person and a partner who finds fatness unattractive. I certainly have lost attraction for my spouse who is over 45 pounds bigger than when we met and were married.

So if a guy loses his hair over the years, is it okay for his wife to dump him because she finds bald men unattractive?

Well the big difference is that hair loss is not within his control whereas weight control is 100% within her power.
Nonetheless, if she seriously is not attracted to his unavoidable hair loss, then she should clearly tell him and ask him to explore options for "treating" hair loss. If he refuses and she is just plain in attracted, then Yes she should leave him.

You have no idea of how the human body works. You bought the diet industry's line and swallowed it whole.

Educate yourself.

OP, don't listen to this idiot.

OK I would never condone cruelty towards someone because they are fat. It is doubly repulsive if it is coming from a spouse. That being said,, the number of people on this thread who are trying to claim that weight gain is outside of someone's control is also appalling. This woman may have too much on her plate right now to focus on her weight and health. That is her choice. But, fat people can lose weight if they exercise and cut calories. There is no rocket science to it. I am an internist and cannot tell you how many obese patients of mine claim they are sticking to rigid diets. It is NOT TRUE. How many obese people do you see in the developing world? As a society we are eating our way into chronic illness and early death with our horrible diets. Weight gain doesn't just "happen". You empower yourself if you take ownership of your life and choices.

AMEN.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See here is the problem: you weren't fat back when he became attracted to you. Long term, the odds are poor for a marriage between a self accepting fat person and a partner who finds fatness unattractive. I certainly have lost attraction for my spouse who is over 45 pounds bigger than when we met and were married.

So if a guy loses his hair over the years, is it okay for his wife to dump him because she finds bald men unattractive?

Well the big difference is that hair loss is not within his control whereas weight control is 100% within her power.
Nonetheless, if she seriously is not attracted to his unavoidable hair loss, then she should clearly tell him and ask him to explore options for "treating" hair loss. If he refuses and she is just plain in attracted, then Yes she should leave him.

You have no idea of how the human body works. You bought the diet industry's line and swallowed it whole.

Educate yourself.

OP, don't listen to this idiot.

OK I would never condone cruelty towards someone because they are fat. It is doubly repulsive if it is coming from a spouse. That being said,, the number of people on this thread who are trying to claim that weight gain is outside of someone's control is also appalling. This woman may have too much on her plate right now to focus on her weight and health. That is her choice. But, fat people can lose weight if they exercise and cut calories. There is no rocket science to it. I am an internist and cannot tell you how many obese patients of mine claim they are sticking to rigid diets. It is NOT TRUE. How many obese people do you see in the developing world? As a society we are eating our way into chronic illness and early death with our horrible diets. Weight gain doesn't just "happen". You empower yourself if you take ownership of your life and choices.

Do the world a favour and find a new profession, if you're really a doctor, which I doubt.

The whole calories in / calories out has been debunked thousands of times.

There's just too much money going around in the diet industry for the whole thing to be unmasked for the lie it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See here is the problem: you weren't fat back when he became attracted to you. Long term, the odds are poor for a marriage between a self accepting fat person and a partner who finds fatness unattractive. I certainly have lost attraction for my spouse who is over 45 pounds bigger than when we met and were married.

So if a guy loses his hair over the years, is it okay for his wife to dump him because she finds bald men unattractive?

Well the big difference is that hair loss is not within his control whereas weight control is 100% within her power.
Nonetheless, if she seriously is not attracted to his unavoidable hair loss, then she should clearly tell him and ask him to explore options for "treating" hair loss. If he refuses and she is just plain in attracted, then Yes she should leave him.

You have no idea of how the human body works. You bought the diet industry's line and swallowed it whole.

Educate yourself.

OP, don't listen to this idiot.

OK I would never condone cruelty towards someone because they are fat. It is doubly repulsive if it is coming from a spouse. That being said,, the number of people on this thread who are trying to claim that weight gain is outside of someone's control is also appalling. This woman may have too much on her plate right now to focus on her weight and health. That is her choice. But, fat people can lose weight if they exercise and cut calories. There is no rocket science to it. I am an internist and cannot tell you how many obese patients of mine claim they are sticking to rigid diets. It is NOT TRUE. How many obese people do you see in the developing world? As a society we are eating our way into chronic illness and early death with our horrible diets. Weight gain doesn't just "happen". You empower yourself if you take ownership of your life and choices.

Anonymous wrote:Good Grief, I'm so glad I'm married to a man. My DH got fat (mind you I'm the one who birthed babies) and out of shape. I stopped having sex with him because I could not get aroused. I told him that if he ever wanted to resume a normal sex lift then to get moving and stop eating crap. He lost 80lbs and now lifts Weights. My sex drive came back with a roar. He's even hotter to me than the day we met. We both won.

I feel sorry that you men can't have an open dialogue about weight and how it impacts intimacy. It was very easy to have this conversation with a man who tend to be more pragmatic and less prone to hysteria over the topic. I'd have to be gay if I were born a man or at.least a perpetual bachelor.

It sounds like the op's DH isn't having that kind of conversation. It sounds like hes being passive aggressive and nitpicking many of her choices. He's being unnecessarily unkind and unhelpful.

Good Grief, I'm so glad I'm married to a man. My DH got fat (mind you I'm the one who birthed babies) and out of shape. I stopped having sex with him because I could not get aroused. I told him that if he ever wanted to resume a normal sex lift then to get moving and stop eating crap. He lost 80lbs and now lifts Weights. My sex drive came back with a roar. He's even hotter to me than the day we met. We both won.

I feel sorry that you men can't have an open dialogue about weight and how it impacts intimacy. It was very easy to have this conversation with a man who tend to be more pragmatic and less prone to hysteria over the topic. I'd have to be gay if I were born a man or at.least a perpetual bachelor.

Anonymous wrote:Why do posters constantly rationalize and make excuses for people who are fat?

It is possible to control your weight unless you have a medical problem - and that affects only a fraction of people - but you have to adjust your intake and exercise accordingly and that applies even more so as one gets older.

But you know what? Any healthy eating and workout regie isn't going to work if it's just a punishment for being fat. Why would you want to commit to not eating certain things, or hitting the gym, if every one of your choices (broccoli instead of rice, heading to gym) is just a punishment? Why would you a stick to a program that just makes you feel terrible? I've been pretty overweight myself and got a lot of criticism from my family and it never helped. What helped is to decide to do things because I love myself, and not because I hate myself. It's hard to get to a point where you want to change your habits if someone makes you feel like garbage all the time. I go to the gym because i'm excited to go, not because of some perceived flaw in my body. I eat well to fuel my body, not because i am too disgusting to eat fried foods. This is why her DH's comments, and your idiotic statements, are mean and pointless.

my mom is 60. She works out daily AND plays in a tennis league which puts her on the court 4 days a week. She has a hearty appetite. She is 5'9" tall and weighs 155. She is not scary skinny, nor is she remotely fat. She is a good 15lbs heavier than when she was 40. She's had 3 children. Just because you have gone through menopause does not mean you become fat. I see very very few women her age who are as active as she is. If you are inactive and you eat more calories than you burn you will be fat. This applies to children and senior citizens alike.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women put on 10 to 20 pounds after menopause even if they are eating the same.

Dieting is a whole different ball game then. Stop trying to justify you shallow outlook. 30 or 40 pronouns should not be a deal breaker in any long term relationship.

Aparently then, most women are not disciplined enough to adjust their caloric intact to avoid this weight gain.
Yet I am constantly seeing plenty of women who do care about staying active and eating right and remain thin.
Sorry but 30 or 40 pounds is just not sexy. It shows laziness and is completely unattractive.

God you are impossible. Your poor wife.

+1. OP, just show your wife these posts so she can move on. No woman, thin or not, would want to be someone like you.

Anonymous wrote:If you have a weight issue it might be upsetting for him to see you not watching what you eat particularly if you are ordering some of the highest cal stuff on the menu and not even making an effort to try...

It might be ruining his vacation to see you only making matters worse with high cal food choices. Everything comes with fries these days - try substituting a side salad or broccoli. Get grilled fish/chicken instead of fried. Limit starches and sugars.

I sympathize with you Op. I've been struggling with my weight for the past decade.

I eat really healthy 90% of the time, if not more. I rarely drink or eat desserts and eat tons of greens. If I am on vacation and I eat some more booze, sweets, and fried deliciousness, you had better shut your face. I will bet you the OP is making healthier choices at home, is loosening up a bit for her short vacation and her DH is attacking her.

It seems you stopped reading the article right before it explains how to avoid weight gain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aparently then, most women are not disciplined enough to adjust their caloric intact to avoid this weight gain.
Yet I am constantly seeing plenty of women who do care about staying active and eating right and remain thin.
Sorry but 30 or 40 pounds is just not sexy. It shows laziness and is completely unattractive.

Then they probably haven't been through menopause.

Take a look at the 60 year old plus women out there. They are either a bit heavy -- or they look even older than their years.

I did not realize how futile it is for a 60yo woman to control her weight. No wonder I see so few exercising, that would be a complete waste of time given your medical update regarding menopause.
Thank you for the heads up.
I'll be sure to stay trim and fit so that, at age 60, I can easily trade in my post menopause overweight wife for a slim 40yo.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/weight-gain-in-menopause-why-does-it-happen-and-what-can-you-do/

All too often the "change of life" results in unwelcome changes in the number on the bathroom scale. Many women find that no matter how sensible their diet or how frequently they exercise, they still start packing on the pounds once menopause begins.

This problem is primarily driven by estrogen loss that occurs during menopause. Estrogen loss causes a number of health issues, one of which is deterioration of muscle mass. Because muscle burns more calories than fat, less muscle also means fewer calories burned, all of which adds up to a recipe for a slower metabolism.

Speaking with CBS News chief medical correspondent Dr. Jon LaPook, Dr. Lori Warren, a gynecologist and a partner with Women First of Louisville, said weight gain is one of the top complaints among her patients.

"As a gynecologist one of the biggest things I'm asked is, 'What is going on with this weight gain as I'm aging and going through menopause,'" she said. "And it kind of creeps up on women and all of the sudden they're angry about it when they come in for an annual visit and they've gained 10 pounds and they say, 'Why didn't anyone tell me that I might gain weight?'"

....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aparently then, most women are not disciplined enough to adjust their caloric intact to avoid this weight gain.
Yet I am constantly seeing plenty of women who do care about staying active and eating right and remain thin.
Sorry but 30 or 40 pounds is just not sexy. It shows laziness and is completely unattractive.

Then they probably haven't been through menopause.

Take a look at the 60 year old plus women out there. They are either a bit heavy -- or they look even older than their years.

I did not realize how futile it is for a 60yo woman to control her weight. No wonder I see so few exercising, that would be a complete waste of time given your medical update regarding menopause.
Thank you for the heads up.
I'll be sure to stay trim and fit so that, at age 60, I can easily trade in my post menopause overweight wife for a slim 40yo.

Why do posters constantly rationalize and make excuses for people who are fat?

It is possible to control your weight unless you have a medical problem - and that affects only a fraction of people - but you have to adjust your intake and exercise accordingly and that applies even more so as one gets older.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women put on 10 to 20 pounds after menopause even if they are eating the same.

Dieting is a whole different ball game then. Stop trying to justify you shallow outlook. 30 or 40 pronouns should not be a deal breaker in any long term relationship.

Aparently then, most women are not disciplined enough to adjust their caloric intact to avoid this weight gain.
Yet I am constantly seeing plenty of women who do care about staying active and eating right and remain thin.
Sorry but 30 or 40 pounds is just not sexy. It shows laziness and is completely unattractive.

Then they probably haven't been through menopause.

Take a look at the 60 year old plus women out there. They are either a bit heavy -- or they look even older than their years.