Here's why: if you, and any subsequent posters (!!) actually knew the neighborhoods surrounding Janney, Key, Mann, Lafayette and to a lesser extent, Murch, you would understand that 95% of the children attending these public schools are not from "all walks of life." They are all from "a privileged background." They are NOT socio-economicallly diverse. They all, with very very few exceptions, are the products of parents in the highest SES bands in the entire United States.

This is a fact. True, there are handfuls of somewhat lower income renters at a handful of these schools but the numbers do not lie.



+1 Well said, totally agree with your analysis.


I am one of the "subsequent posters" (not sure what the !! means). We could go probably go private but we choose to go to Hearst. It is possible to live in Ward 3 and attend a school that has kid from all walks of life. The other parents at the school have a very wide range of professions-- everything from lawyers and academics to restaurant workers and manual laborers. Hearst absolutely is socio-economically diverse and that is why we chose it, and actively did NOT choose Janney, Mann, etc.

One more time, with feeling: this is a thread that asks about Janney, Key, Lafayette, Mann and probably Murch.

It is not asking about Stoddert, Eaton, Hearst. It is not asking about private schools in Dallas. It is not asking about Catholic schools in south Chicago as an alternative to public schools in south Chicago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

NP here. For crying out loud. You're beyond "smug and self-righteous." I'd insert other words here, but then I'd be playing your game. Not going to stoop to your level.

17:16 - thanks for your candor and thoughtfulness. I expect that lots of nastiness is going to be heaped on you, because there seem to be a vocal crew of people on here who hiss and piss at anyone who pauses to question the assumption that sending your kids to private school is automatically for the best. But please know that I for one thank you many many times over for your heartfelt message. You sound like a wonderful parent, and a wonderful person.

17:16. Thank you. I tried to put a lot of thought into what I wrote. We have had friends here have to pull their kids from my former private school universe because of bullying, but when we see some of our peers from college and say what we are doing with our kids they are shocked - their kids are all at the schools they went to in NYC - and they did not consider any other options. That said, we are at a charter we really believe will give our kids the best education around, for our kids, of any school. If we doubted the educational quality we might do something different - but it would not be to put our kids into what STA and NCS are like now. I don't even think my brothers would do it for their sons if they lived here. Many of these schools went off the road somewhere, and we don't want to follow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an impediment, you go with the top private school every time. But whether money is an impediment depends on each family's finances.

I think of it as analogous to picking a car to drive. My trusty Hyundai can get me to the same places an $80,000 Audi might get me. The Audi will be more comfortable on my tush, will have more safety features, will have a better sound system for my music, will probably get me where I'm going faster, will make me generally happier. If I can afford the extra cost, I'll take the Audi every time. But since I don't have that kind of money lying around, I stick with my Hyundai and stare jealously at Audi drivers.

Interesting analogy. I drive a $20k Hyundai and wouldn't be caught dead in an $80,000 car because I would find it a total violation of my values. You could say the same for private school.

I don't understand this vaguely smug sounding comment by the violated values PP. How did you arrive at the $20,000 figure? A 2015 Nissan Sentra retails for $16,480 MSRP. If I pulled up in your home in my 2015 Nissan Sentra, would you high-five me for sharing your "values"? What if I won that car at a raffle? Would you think I am even more virtuous than you are because my Sentra costs less than your Hyundai?

What if I pulled up in the $34,000 Hyundai Azera model? It's still a Hyundai, but I spent more to get increased comfort. Do you not value comfort? What in the hell are you saying?

pp here. I am truly sorry if i offended you. I am honestly trying to be smug; to the contrary, this and other threads have me feeling down, not superior. I was picking up on the fact that the earlier poster said she drove a hyundai and that she would naturally rather drive an 80k audi than a hyundai. In response, I was saying, not if it cost four times more (as would be the cost differential in the case of my particular hyundai) there are other things I would do with the extra 60k, either for my family or someone else's.

I am bummed that the attitude throughout this thread and so many others here seems to be that public eduction doesn't have any intrinsic merits of its own. everyone talks like private school is something that anyone in their right mind would do if only everyone had the money. And that simply isn't true for some of us. I am not trying to get into some sort of "gotcha" debate where the fact that public schools vary in quality is used to undermine my commitment to public education and to suggest that i'm a hypocrite because I haven't chosen the worst possible public school to send my kid to.

So my point, to reiterate, is this: Before you assume that everyone would do private if they had the funds, keep in mind that some of us can afford to and don't-- because we think that public provides some important advantages, for our kids, for our communities, and for our democracy.

that's all. I think there may be good reasons for some families and some kids to go private, for the record. But please don't forget that there are values that argue in the other direction, even if people on here prefer to look the other way.

*honestly NOT trying to be smug

So what are those values? (serious question). And, on the same token, would you like that your children attend in the future a public university?

Not the PP but I agree with her sentiment. Even if we had the money for private I don't think we would do it. My husband and I both grew up in modest, blue collar neighborhoods and attended public school. We both excelled academically but we also learned important life lessons that I just don't think you get when surrounded by privilege. If I truly felt that my kids were not getting a proper education I would consider other options, but for now they are getting a great education at their DCPS so we will stick with it, even if we won the lottery.

Absolutely!

I want my kids to meet children from all walks of life and to learn how to be open to everyone. I want them to understand that not everyone comes from a privileged background. I want them to have friends in their neighborhood. I want them to see diversity -- racially, ethnically, religiously and most importantly socio economically. I want them to understand that education is a right, not a privilege. And I want to support public schools by sending my kids to them, not have the higher SES kids with the most involved, educated parents creamed off to some stuck up private school that they drive half way across the city to attend. Public schools are for everyone not just those who can't afford private school and we should ALL be supporting them for them to improve and meet our needs.

.

I enjoyed your rousing soapbox speech. I also really, really strongly suspect that you do not live anywhere near Ward 3, District of Columbia. That is the area that is the subject of this thread, by the way. Not "private schools in general everywhere."

Here's why: if you, and any subsequent posters (!!) actually knew the neighborhoods surrounding Janney, Key, Mann, Lafayette and to a lesser extent, Murch, you would understand that 95% of the children attending these public schools are not from "all walks of life." They are all from "a privileged background." They are NOT socio-economicallly diverse. They all, with very very few exceptions, are the products of parents in the highest SES bands in the entire United States.

This is a fact. True, there are handfuls of somewhat lower income renters at a handful of these schools but the numbers do not lie.

+1 Well said, totally agree with your analysis.

I am one of the "subsequent posters" (not sure what the !! means). We could go probably go private but we choose to go to Hearst. It is possible to live in Ward 3 and attend a school that has kid from all walks of life. The other parents at the school have a very wide range of professions-- everything from lawyers and academics to restaurant workers and manual laborers. Hearst absolutely is socio-economically diverse and that is why we chose it, and actively did NOT choose Janney, Mann, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an impediment, you go with the top private school every time. But whether money is an impediment depends on each family's finances.

I think of it as analogous to picking a car to drive. My trusty Hyundai can get me to the same places an $80,000 Audi might get me. The Audi will be more comfortable on my tush, will have more safety features, will have a better sound system for my music, will probably get me where I'm going faster, will make me generally happier. If I can afford the extra cost, I'll take the Audi every time. But since I don't have that kind of money lying around, I stick with my Hyundai and stare jealously at Audi drivers.

Interesting analogy. I drive a $20k Hyundai and wouldn't be caught dead in an $80,000 car because I would find it a total violation of my values. You could say the same for private school.

I don't understand this vaguely smug sounding comment by the violated values PP. How did you arrive at the $20,000 figure? A 2015 Nissan Sentra retails for $16,480 MSRP. If I pulled up in your home in my 2015 Nissan Sentra, would you high-five me for sharing your "values"? What if I won that car at a raffle? Would you think I am even more virtuous than you are because my Sentra costs less than your Hyundai?

What if I pulled up in the $34,000 Hyundai Azera model? It's still a Hyundai, but I spent more to get increased comfort. Do you not value comfort? What in the hell are you saying?

pp here. I am truly sorry if i offended you. I am honestly trying to be smug; to the contrary, this and other threads have me feeling down, not superior. I was picking up on the fact that the earlier poster said she drove a hyundai and that she would naturally rather drive an 80k audi than a hyundai. In response, I was saying, not if it cost four times more (as would be the cost differential in the case of my particular hyundai) there are other things I would do with the extra 60k, either for my family or someone else's.

I am bummed that the attitude throughout this thread and so many others here seems to be that public eduction doesn't have any intrinsic merits of its own. everyone talks like private school is something that anyone in their right mind would do if only everyone had the money. And that simply isn't true for some of us. I am not trying to get into some sort of "gotcha" debate where the fact that public schools vary in quality is used to undermine my commitment to public education and to suggest that i'm a hypocrite because I haven't chosen the worst possible public school to send my kid to.

So my point, to reiterate, is this: Before you assume that everyone would do private if they had the funds, keep in mind that some of us can afford to and don't-- because we think that public provides some important advantages, for our kids, for our communities, and for our democracy.

that's all. I think there may be good reasons for some families and some kids to go private, for the record. But please don't forget that there are values that argue in the other direction, even if people on here prefer to look the other way.

*honestly NOT trying to be smug

So what are those values? (serious question). And, on the same token, would you like that your children attend in the future a public university?

Not the PP but I agree with her sentiment. Even if we had the money for private I don't think we would do it. My husband and I both grew up in modest, blue collar neighborhoods and attended public school. We both excelled academically but we also learned important life lessons that I just don't think you get when surrounded by privilege. If I truly felt that my kids were not getting a proper education I would consider other options, but for now they are getting a great education at their DCPS so we will stick with it, even if we won the lottery.

Absolutely!

I want my kids to meet children from all walks of life and to learn how to be open to everyone. I want them to understand that not everyone comes from a privileged background. I want them to have friends in their neighborhood. I want them to see diversity -- racially, ethnically, religiously and most importantly socio economically. I want them to understand that education is a right, not a privilege. And I want to support public schools by sending my kids to them, not have the higher SES kids with the most involved, educated parents creamed off to some stuck up private school that they drive half way across the city to attend. Public schools are for everyone not just those who can't afford private school and we should ALL be supporting them for them to improve and meet our needs.

.

I enjoyed your rousing soapbox speech. I also really, really strongly suspect that you do not live anywhere near Ward 3, District of Columbia. That is the area that is the subject of this thread, by the way. Not "private schools in general everywhere."

Here's why: if you, and any subsequent posters (!!) actually knew the neighborhoods surrounding Janney, Key, Mann, Lafayette and to a lesser extent, Murch, you would understand that 95% of the children attending these public schools are not from "all walks of life." They are all from "a privileged background." They are NOT socio-economicallly diverse. They all, with very very few exceptions, are the products of parents in the highest SES bands in the entire United States.

This is a fact. True, there are handfuls of somewhat lower income renters at a handful of these schools but the numbers do not lie.

And that's why we live in Ward 5 (which certainly is "anywhere near" ward 3). I have no interest in Ward 3 schools. But my point that many schools in ward 5 are as good as private -- at least for early years - also holds true to your "superior" rich white kid schools in ward 3.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an impediment, you go with the top private school every time. But whether money is an impediment depends on each family's finances.

I think of it as analogous to picking a car to drive. My trusty Hyundai can get me to the same places an $80,000 Audi might get me. The Audi will be more comfortable on my tush, will have more safety features, will have a better sound system for my music, will probably get me where I'm going faster, will make me generally happier. If I can afford the extra cost, I'll take the Audi every time. But since I don't have that kind of money lying around, I stick with my Hyundai and stare jealously at Audi drivers.

Interesting analogy. I drive a $20k Hyundai and wouldn't be caught dead in an $80,000 car because I would find it a total violation of my values. You could say the same for private school.

I don't understand this vaguely smug sounding comment by the violated values PP. How did you arrive at the $20,000 figure? A 2015 Nissan Sentra retails for $16,480 MSRP. If I pulled up in your home in my 2015 Nissan Sentra, would you high-five me for sharing your "values"? What if I won that car at a raffle? Would you think I am even more virtuous than you are because my Sentra costs less than your Hyundai?

What if I pulled up in the $34,000 Hyundai Azera model? It's still a Hyundai, but I spent more to get increased comfort. Do you not value comfort? What in the hell are you saying?

pp here. I am truly sorry if i offended you. I am honestly trying to be smug; to the contrary, this and other threads have me feeling down, not superior. I was picking up on the fact that the earlier poster said she drove a hyundai and that she would naturally rather drive an 80k audi than a hyundai. In response, I was saying, not if it cost four times more (as would be the cost differential in the case of my particular hyundai) there are other things I would do with the extra 60k, either for my family or someone else's.

I am bummed that the attitude throughout this thread and so many others here seems to be that public eduction doesn't have any intrinsic merits of its own. everyone talks like private school is something that anyone in their right mind would do if only everyone had the money. And that simply isn't true for some of us. I am not trying to get into some sort of "gotcha" debate where the fact that public schools vary in quality is used to undermine my commitment to public education and to suggest that i'm a hypocrite because I haven't chosen the worst possible public school to send my kid to.

So my point, to reiterate, is this: Before you assume that everyone would do private if they had the funds, keep in mind that some of us can afford to and don't-- because we think that public provides some important advantages, for our kids, for our communities, and for our democracy.

that's all. I think there may be good reasons for some families and some kids to go private, for the record. But please don't forget that there are values that argue in the other direction, even if people on here prefer to look the other way.

*honestly NOT trying to be smug

So what are those values? (serious question). And, on the same token, would you like that your children attend in the future a public university?

Not the PP but I agree with her sentiment. Even if we had the money for private I don't think we would do it. My husband and I both grew up in modest, blue collar neighborhoods and attended public school. We both excelled academically but we also learned important life lessons that I just don't think you get when surrounded by privilege. If I truly felt that my kids were not getting a proper education I would consider other options, but for now they are getting a great education at their DCPS so we will stick with it, even if we won the lottery.

Absolutely!

I want my kids to meet children from all walks of life and to learn how to be open to everyone. I want them to understand that not everyone comes from a privileged background. I want them to have friends in their neighborhood. I want them to see diversity -- racially, ethnically, religiously and most importantly socio economically. I want them to understand that education is a right, not a privilege. And I want to support public schools by sending my kids to them, not have the higher SES kids with the most involved, educated parents creamed off to some stuck up private school that they drive half way across the city to attend. Public schools are for everyone not just those who can't afford private school and we should ALL be supporting them for them to improve and meet our needs.

And beyond all that, I think you guys are crazy for wasting your money on something that you have already paid for through your tax dollars. I am certain that my children's public charter school is as good as or better than any of your privates. Truly. You are kidding yourself if you think that the tens of thousands that you pay has any other impact but snob value and some networking.

This is silly. There are definitely differences between schools and each has its own set of pros and cons. Different people evaluate them differently. But to say all the privates have going is "snob appeal and networking" tells me you aren't interested in actually looking at the differences and have a huge chip on your shoulder.

No chip on my shoulder, just zero interest in private schools, practically, financially or ideologically. You may think that private is the ideal that everyone strives for, but it's not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

Agreed,most me after the first paragraph.

Sorry, lost me after the first paragraph. Don't cate to read anything that rambling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

Agreed,most me after the first paragraph.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

NP here. For crying out loud. You're beyond "smug and self-righteous." I'd insert other words here, but then I'd be playing your game. Not going to stoop to your level.

17:16 - thanks for your candor and thoughtfulness. I expect that lots of nastiness is going to be heaped on you, because there seem to be a vocal crew of people on here who hiss and piss at anyone who pauses to question the assumption that sending your kids to private school is automatically for the best. But please know that I for one thank you many many times over for your heartfelt message. You sound like a wonderful parent, and a wonderful person.

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

We went to Mann for the early years and noticed a brain drain and a lack of academic rigor once a lot of the kids started peeling off for privates - one child lost both best friends to STA, 4th grade was a total waste.... now at an academically rigorous charter, no plans for private school for anyone. Just to supplement at Mann to prepare the other kids....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an impediment, you go with the top private school every time. But whether money is an impediment depends on each family's finances.

I think of it as analogous to picking a car to drive. My trusty Hyundai can get me to the same places an $80,000 Audi might get me. The Audi will be more comfortable on my tush, will have more safety features, will have a better sound system for my music, will probably get me where I'm going faster, will make me generally happier. If I can afford the extra cost, I'll take the Audi every time. But since I don't have that kind of money lying around, I stick with my Hyundai and stare jealously at Audi drivers.

Interesting analogy. I drive a $20k Hyundai and wouldn't be caught dead in an $80,000 car because I would find it a total violation of my values. You could say the same for private school.

I don't understand this vaguely smug sounding comment by the violated values PP. How did you arrive at the $20,000 figure? A 2015 Nissan Sentra retails for $16,480 MSRP. If I pulled up in your home in my 2015 Nissan Sentra, would you high-five me for sharing your "values"? What if I won that car at a raffle? Would you think I am even more virtuous than you are because my Sentra costs less than your Hyundai?

What if I pulled up in the $34,000 Hyundai Azera model? It's still a Hyundai, but I spent more to get increased comfort. Do you not value comfort? What in the hell are you saying?

pp here. I am truly sorry if i offended you. I am honestly trying to be smug; to the contrary, this and other threads have me feeling down, not superior. I was picking up on the fact that the earlier poster said she drove a hyundai and that she would naturally rather drive an 80k audi than a hyundai. In response, I was saying, not if it cost four times more (as would be the cost differential in the case of my particular hyundai) there are other things I would do with the extra 60k, either for my family or someone else's.

I am bummed that the attitude throughout this thread and so many others here seems to be that public eduction doesn't have any intrinsic merits of its own. everyone talks like private school is something that anyone in their right mind would do if only everyone had the money. And that simply isn't true for some of us. I am not trying to get into some sort of "gotcha" debate where the fact that public schools vary in quality is used to undermine my commitment to public education and to suggest that i'm a hypocrite because I haven't chosen the worst possible public school to send my kid to.

So my point, to reiterate, is this: Before you assume that everyone would do private if they had the funds, keep in mind that some of us can afford to and don't-- because we think that public provides some important advantages, for our kids, for our communities, and for our democracy.

that's all. I think there may be good reasons for some families and some kids to go private, for the record. But please don't forget that there are values that argue in the other direction, even if people on here prefer to look the other way.

*honestly NOT trying to be smug

So what are those values? (serious question). And, on the same token, would you like that your children attend in the future a public university?

as someone who went to one of the big 3, as did sibs and cousins - at least all private schools here, and then on to Ivy League colleges or universities (single cousin went to Williams), the values are that at that time private school was possible on one income that was not a law firm partnership - my father was home for dinner whenever he was in the country, and - tuition at private school and the pace of inflation are not comparable. Private school tuition here is obscene, and then apparently you are constantly pressured to give more. My husband and I both went to private schools in different cities - I grew up here, he did not.

I never want my kids to feel poor. We are not poor. Surrounding them with parents who can drop 120k (3 or 4 kids like ours) every year without batting an eye, who go to St Bart's, Nantucket, wherever, might make them feel poor. I had a problem with the values of some of the kids at my private because they thought they were important because their parents were (here it is more politics and position than money per se - vs. NYC where it seems especially for new money but even in general just to be all about money). And that had nothing to do with expensive vacations because no one would throw them in your face in that era and I don't think they were as expensive - or maybe they were...
I don't really want my kids exposed to "those kids" unless their parents are making the same choice we are - to send their kids to public school. And oddly enough, a lot of my former classmates (the ones I really liked) are sending their kids to public school as well - mostly Yale or Jail, but some to others in Md and Va. So there are a whole generation of alums from these schools who are not sending their kids back, and for many it is not about money. Parents offered to pay for private and we turned them down (it is tax deductible for my parents for some reason, or more financially advantageous for them to pay the tuition than for us to). While we might change our minds if one kid has a learning issue or something, otherwise we are headed public until college - fairly sure for at least two at this point, out of a few (some aren't old enough for us to be so confident). I just think the snottiness and snobbishness at private schools has been raised to unbearable level now, and every so often I go over to the private school forum, read about the recent troubles with acquaintance rape at NCS and STA, or how women judge each other at privates by the handbags they carry, and thank God we are doing Cotillion and not Ms. Simmons and have opted ourselves out of that community, and therefore, opted our kids out.

As for "public universities" - it depends. I had a friend from NCS who got a free ride to an honors program at Chapel Hill UNC (forget the name of the scholarship, NOT need based), and she turned down HYP to go and was happy with that. I went to UVA law school where the tuition for residents was $6k after HYP while my sibs went on the same Ivy League track for law school and med school and we are all happy. Other than law and medical school, most worthwhile graduate programs (like CS) actually pay their students.......... Our parents did pay for everything. No loans. One of my brothers wanted to become an academic - different track, different school. I went to NYC and made money. Now we are feds and almost maxed out but really happy with our lifestyle and not raising our kids to take things for granted but teaching them they have to work for what they want - academically and economically, which I think would be much harder now if they went to private school than it was when I was a kid (we all graduated in the 80s).

My parents managed, but I feel like there is a whole new breed now or I lived in an old money bubble. Probably a bit of both. Oh and our cars are pieces of shit as well. But then so were my parents cars. I used to think we were poor because we drove crappy cars and wore hand me downs from my cousins. But my parents paid all of our college tuitions with no loans and no problems and law/med schools and are now worth more money than I ever had any clue they could be. Our older kids are in with (to an extent) a fairly rough and tumble crowd, very ethnically and economically diverse and being educated in all sorts of ways (we were much more conservative re ES). For us it is a value choice. We do take them to family house in one of the aforementioned playgrounds for the rich and famous in the summers, trying to point out the different types of kids. We are 4th generation there and planning to stay, while the next market crash will make a whole bunch of GS folks put their shiny new houses there on the market.....

I don't mean to sound smug either, but some of the private school threads disgust me. Most of the ones on this forum don't. I went to a really diverse college and made an effort to get out of my comfort zone, I don't want my kids in that zone to begin with because I get the feeling the zone is not the same, and especially with my girls, I just don't want the nastiness that comes with private school kids and people with lots of money and attitudes and value systems that I don't share. I feel much more confident that my girls won't develop eating disorders where they are in school, for example. Or do serious drugs. Not sure I am explaining this well, but my parents raised us right, and my cousins here were raised right, and between all of us we had NCS, STA, GDS, Sidwell, Madeira and Landon. We all worked every summer - at paid jobs. I cleaned houses for a summer. I worked all through school even though my brothers didn't and I didn't have to, and I don't have the confidence I could instill the work ethic, the valuing people for people, the "cars and handbags and houses do not mean crap but going to church and giving at church both financially and physically does" that my parents managed to do for us if I sent my kids to the schools we went to because I think they have fundamentally changed. Make sense? It makes sense to us. Every so often we have to explain to our kids that we are not poor. My parents had to do the same for us. I think that is better than having to explain that although we are surrounded by the uber wealthy, we are not in their league. Which we aren't, but I probably will come close when I inherit my parents' assets, which I hope won't happen for ages. If my kids grow up and want to go after money, fine.

I don't really care if they go to private or public colleges or universities, as long as they go for the right reasons and get the best they can out of the experience, and a good education that gives them either a path forward in school or viable employment options. And we will be able to afford it - and not just because we went public for all these years. So I may be an oddball outlier, but that makes most of my friends from this area who I still keep in touch with who have opted for public here or in Md or Va outliers as well. Honestly, I never liked the ones who are sending their kids back to our old schools either, and still don't like them - so maybe their kids are different, but I doubt it. Maybe we are a new breed. Who knows? But it is a value choice. We want to explain to our children the way the world works, we don't want them to see it work completely unfairly at some private school and explain to them that is the world, because that is only one world, and their are many ways to get educated around here, and many ways to become successful. We are also opt outs on TV and computers mostly (although crash courses are awesome as is computer programming), no expensive cell phones, and opt in for books, and if you want to understand what is going on in the world in this house you still have to read the NYT, you don't get to watch CNN. Most of our friends are the same way.

I have also become a lot more relaxed also about where my kids go to college - I figure between merit scholarships to UNC, SLACS, and the traditional schools that everyone wants to get into, there are probably about 30 or so places where each of them could go and succeed. So although they are double legacies at one HYP, and long time family legacies at two others, and I would be happy if they got in and chose where we went, I just feel so much more relaxed about the whole process. I realize it has perhaps become much more competitive, but I have confidence in my kids, and we have not raised them to believe that going to a particular college will make or break them because it won't.
Eventually something may make or break you - limit your educational opportunities, narrow your career horizons, but it is not going to a public school in DC, and it is not failing to get into HYP. I am fairly confident about that now. I did not have that confidence when I was their age, just because of family traditions and legacy issues, so I am trying hard to instill it in them. Because all of us (me, my sibs, my cousins, and my friends) ended up at Ivy League schools or had the option, and I keep hearing that is no longer possible. And I keep thinking it is no longer as critical as I once thought it was. So that is my perhaps outlier take on all of this... and these are my values.

And that is why my kids are (and will remain most likely) in public school. We can compensate for any educational deficits they develop, what we cannot do is give them the experience they are getting at any private school around here in terms of economic as well as ethnic diversity, and what we will not do is put them in school with a bunch of self important parents and potentially mean nasty snobby holier than thou kids from extremely wealthy families. The members of my family who have become extremely wealthy are also extremely understated, and except for the odd $300 dollar or more over the top gifts that show up from cousins who are God parents (who consult us first), or us visiting them at their country houses where their girls keep their horses, or houses in the Hamptons, with the exception of one odd but dear to my heart cousin who has a penchant for fast cars and has a stable of them, my kids don't really notice. And whatever they do notice, we talk about.

I did not really feel this in private school back in the day, and neither did my sibs or cousins, but this is what we are hearing, it is what we are seeing, and on the private school forum it is what I am reading.... And I think the environment is toxic (I don't think it was when we went to school at these places) and I don't want my kids anywhere near it. My kids so far are happy, relatively well adjusted, fairly well educated, extremely intellectually curious, and much less sheltered than I was. So those are our family values. Feel free to piss all over them, but please think about it first, because we have put a lot of thought into the way we are living our lives and raising our kids, and one of the most important aspects of that as far as we are concerned is where they go to school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone experienced both?
Many thanks!

The teaching style is very different. I have experienced both.

Our child switched from jklm to private in 4 the.

Honestly at the time the decision was primarily about MS. The facilities at the private are much nicer, of course, but what they ate learning is the same. We are leaving our younger kids in public through 5th, and know other parents who have had the same experience and are making the same choice.

Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone experienced both?
Many thanks!

The teaching style is very different. I have experienced both.

Our child switched from jklm to private in 4 the.

Honestly at the time the decision was primarily about MS. The facilities at the private are much nicer, of course, but what they ate learning is the same. We are leaving our younger kids in public through 5th, and know other parents who have had the same experience and are making the same choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an impediment, you go with the top private school every time. But whether money is an impediment depends on each family's finances.

I think of it as analogous to picking a car to drive. My trusty Hyundai can get me to the same places an $80,000 Audi might get me. The Audi will be more comfortable on my tush, will have more safety features, will have a better sound system for my music, will probably get me where I'm going faster, will make me generally happier. If I can afford the extra cost, I'll take the Audi every time. But since I don't have that kind of money lying around, I stick with my Hyundai and stare jealously at Audi drivers.

Interesting analogy. I drive a $20k Hyundai and wouldn't be caught dead in an $80,000 car because I would find it a total violation of my values. You could say the same for private school.

I don't understand this vaguely smug sounding comment by the violated values PP. How did you arrive at the $20,000 figure? A 2015 Nissan Sentra retails for $16,480 MSRP. If I pulled up in your home in my 2015 Nissan Sentra, would you high-five me for sharing your "values"? What if I won that car at a raffle? Would you think I am even more virtuous than you are because my Sentra costs less than your Hyundai?

What if I pulled up in the $34,000 Hyundai Azera model? It's still a Hyundai, but I spent more to get increased comfort. Do you not value comfort? What in the hell are you saying?

pp here. I am truly sorry if i offended you. I am honestly trying to be smug; to the contrary, this and other threads have me feeling down, not superior. I was picking up on the fact that the earlier poster said she drove a hyundai and that she would naturally rather drive an 80k audi than a hyundai. In response, I was saying, not if it cost four times more (as would be the cost differential in the case of my particular hyundai) there are other things I would do with the extra 60k, either for my family or someone else's.

I am bummed that the attitude throughout this thread and so many others here seems to be that public eduction doesn't have any intrinsic merits of its own. everyone talks like private school is something that anyone in their right mind would do if only everyone had the money. And that simply isn't true for some of us. I am not trying to get into some sort of "gotcha" debate where the fact that public schools vary in quality is used to undermine my commitment to public education and to suggest that i'm a hypocrite because I haven't chosen the worst possible public school to send my kid to.

So my point, to reiterate, is this: Before you assume that everyone would do private if they had the funds, keep in mind that some of us can afford to and don't-- because we think that public provides some important advantages, for our kids, for our communities, and for our democracy.

that's all. I think there may be good reasons for some families and some kids to go private, for the record. But please don't forget that there are values that argue in the other direction, even if people on here prefer to look the other way.

*honestly NOT trying to be smug

So what are those values? (serious question). And, on the same token, would you like that your children attend in the future a public university?

Not the PP but I agree with her sentiment. Even if we had the money for private I don't think we would do it. My husband and I both grew up in modest, blue collar neighborhoods and attended public school. We both excelled academically but we also learned important life lessons that I just don't think you get when surrounded by privilege. If I truly felt that my kids were not getting a proper education I would consider other options, but for now they are getting a great education at their DCPS so we will stick with it, even if we won the lottery.

Absolutely!

I want my kids to meet children from all walks of life and to learn how to be open to everyone. I want them to understand that not everyone comes from a privileged background. I want them to have friends in their neighborhood. I want them to see diversity -- racially, ethnically, religiously and most importantly socio economically. I want them to understand that education is a right, not a privilege. And I want to support public schools by sending my kids to them, not have the higher SES kids with the most involved, educated parents creamed off to some stuck up private school that they drive half way across the city to attend. Public schools are for everyone not just those who can't afford private school and we should ALL be supporting them for them to improve and meet our needs.

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I enjoyed your rousing soapbox speech. I also really, really strongly suspect that you do not live anywhere near Ward 3, District of Columbia. That is the area that is the subject of this thread, by the way. Not "private schools in general everywhere."

Here's why: if you, and any subsequent posters (!!) actually knew the neighborhoods surrounding Janney, Key, Mann, Lafayette and to a lesser extent, Murch, you would understand that 95% of the children attending these public schools are not from "all walks of life." They are all from "a privileged background." They are NOT socio-economicallly diverse. They all, with very very few exceptions, are the products of parents in the highest SES bands in the entire United States.

This is a fact. True, there are handfuls of somewhat lower income renters at a handful of these schools but the numbers do not lie.

+1 Well said, totally agree with your analysis.