+1 to the above poster. I am so tired to see this "trying to be the best" who grew up in totally anxious adults who can't handle daily tasks because of the pressure be the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I guess I am not the norm.

My kids didn't need braces, we never spend money, nor will I ever spend money on tutors or test prep. They play high school sports and one plays travel of a max of $1000/yr. One is in the Robotics club. One is in the debate club. Both free. They volunteer in camps so one pays $50/week and the other is free. Before that, they were signed up in Girl Scout camps which were no more than $150/wk and we did 2 weeks of that and one week of sports camp at $225. This summer one will lifeguard and actually make decent money. They both have been babysitting since 13 and have bank accounts. I haven't seen my store bills get much higher. Neither kid cares about name brands very much. My one daughter is a tomboy so the glitz and glam prices aren't there. When they were younger they played in country rec teams and the cost was about $60 a season.

So if you don't think they need constant activities and pressure to be the best. Oh and keeping up with the Jones' - it isn't close to what others are saying.

That your kids didn't need braces has nothing to do with you, what you did or what you thought. You pulled out a lucky lottery card. That's the end of that.

It's not about constant activities. It's about you choosing cheaper or free activities. Replace the Robotics club with hockey and the debate club with figure skating, add a musical instrument, and you're halfway to the poorhouse. The time commitment would actually be the same.

Pressure to be the best is a good thing.

Disagree. Pressure to be the best in a sport or class is NOT a good thing. Encouraging someone to be their best is a good thing.

And I wouldn't add other things. They do one sport a season and after-school clubs are free. Why would they add hockey instead of robotics? They are already in a sport. And musical instrument they did for free in school grades 4-8th and dropped in high school. One self-learned on the piano. The other hates instruments but still played the flute for 2yrs in school.

Also, I didn't choose my kid's sports. They chose them.

Anonymous wrote:Well I guess I am not the norm.

My kids didn't need braces, we never spend money, nor will I ever spend money on tutors or test prep. They play high school sports and one plays travel of a max of $1000/yr. One is in the Robotics club. One is in the debate club. Both free. They volunteer in camps so one pays $50/week and the other is free. Before that, they were signed up in Girl Scout camps which were no more than $150/wk and we did 2 weeks of that and one week of sports camp at $225. This summer one will lifeguard and actually make decent money. They both have been babysitting since 13 and have bank accounts. I haven't seen my store bills get much higher. Neither kid cares about name brands very much. My one daughter is a tomboy so the glitz and glam prices aren't there. When they were younger they played in country rec teams and the cost was about $60 a season.

So if you don't think they need constant activities and pressure to be the best. Oh and keeping up with the Jones' - it isn't close to what others are saying.

That your kids didn't need braces has nothing to do with you, what you did or what you thought. You pulled out a lucky lottery card. That's the end of that.

It's not about constant activities. It's about you choosing cheaper or free activities. Replace the Robotics club with hockey and the debate club with figure skating, add a musical instrument, and you're halfway to the poorhouse. The time commitment would actually be the same.

Pressure to be the best is a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food alone for a teen will run about 3000-5000/year. Summer camp is 4500 (for us). We do public school, but spend about 800/year for rec league sports, and 1000/year for piano. Oh, and $1200/year for religious school. So, our annual costs are about 10K.

Actually, this year, it is much higher, as we are also paying 10K for a Bat Mitzvah party, but that will only happen once.

I get it - there will always be costs with kids at any age. In some ways the big expense events like braces or Bat Mitzvah parties would be harder to plan for when it isn't a part of your monthly budget. Last year we spent almost $40,000 in daycare so I feel like I will be able to handle a few extra activities.

Sorry, I just can not rationalize working to only pay for someone else to watch my kids. If you easily make over 6 figures and truly want your job, great. But the people here posting that daycare, private, camps etc.. are all based on one person's salary and you are saving so little, if any. That is just sad. I don't think you are doing your kid any favor giving him all these things and so little time with you.

I can't rationalize how people can as short-sighted and single-minded as you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food alone for a teen will run about 3000-5000/year. Summer camp is 4500 (for us). We do public school, but spend about 800/year for rec league sports, and 1000/year for piano. Oh, and $1200/year for religious school. So, our annual costs are about 10K.

Actually, this year, it is much higher, as we are also paying 10K for a Bat Mitzvah party, but that will only happen once.

I get it - there will always be costs with kids at any age. In some ways the big expense events like braces or Bat Mitzvah parties would be harder to plan for when it isn't a part of your monthly budget. Last year we spent almost $40,000 in daycare so I feel like I will be able to handle a few extra activities.

Sorry, I just can not rationalize working to only pay for someone else to watch my kids. If you easily make over 6 figures and truly want your job, great. But the people here posting that daycare, private, camps etc.. are all based on one person's salary and you are saving so little, if any. That is just sad. I don't think you are doing your kid any favor giving him all these things and so little time with you.

PP- It's obvious that you look down on working moms. However to say that working parents are saving so little to pay for someone to watch their kids is just plain insulting. No one in their right mind works just so that they don't have to watch their kids. If you argument is that the family "cost" of having both spouses work is not worth the benefit- well that's a value judgment each family needs to make.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food alone for a teen will run about 3000-5000/year. Summer camp is 4500 (for us). We do public school, but spend about 800/year for rec league sports, and 1000/year for piano. Oh, and $1200/year for religious school. So, our annual costs are about 10K.

Actually, this year, it is much higher, as we are also paying 10K for a Bat Mitzvah party, but that will only happen once.

I get it - there will always be costs with kids at any age. In some ways the big expense events like braces or Bat Mitzvah parties would be harder to plan for when it isn't a part of your monthly budget. Last year we spent almost $40,000 in daycare so I feel like I will be able to handle a few extra activities.

Sorry, I just can not rationalize working to only pay for someone else to watch my kids. If you easily make over 6 figures and truly want your job, great. But the people here posting that daycare, private, camps etc.. are all based on one person's salary and you are saving so little, if any. That is just sad. I don't think you are doing your kid any favor giving him all these things and so little time with you.

Anonymous wrote:Food alone for a teen will run about 3000-5000/year. Summer camp is 4500 (for us). We do public school, but spend about 800/year for rec league sports, and 1000/year for piano. Oh, and $1200/year for religious school. So, our annual costs are about 10K.

Actually, this year, it is much higher, as we are also paying 10K for a Bat Mitzvah party, but that will only happen once.

I get it - there will always be costs with kids at any age. In some ways the big expense events like braces or Bat Mitzvah parties would be harder to plan for when it isn't a part of your monthly budget. Last year we spent almost $40,000 in daycare so I feel like I will be able to handle a few extra activities.

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts, And raising such spoiled kids! Unbelievable! I am being serious. Where do you all com from? there is no way my kids are going to grow up with such high standards and entitlement. School comes first, family time comes second, and if you really want extra, you'll have to earn it. I didn't grow up in the states, and all this stress and expectations sound over the top. I am glad I don't have the need to keep up with anybody.

Not necessarily spoiled. Definitely fortunate. There is a difference.

LOL - not sure how this got so heated. Daycare is very expensive, and older kids have expensive activities, even if you send them to public school. No way are we spending $20K/kid on camps and activities, but it is probably $10K/kid for aftercare, camp and activities and expenses.

Food alone for a teen will run about 3000-5000/year. Summer camp is 4500 (for us). We do public school, but spend about 800/year for rec league sports, and 1000/year for piano. Oh, and $1200/year for religious school. So, our annual costs are about 10K.

Actually, this year, it is much higher, as we are also paying 10K for a Bat Mitzvah party, but that will only happen once.

Anonymous wrote:Where do they play high school sports around here that didn't cost any money till high school? What sport?

MCPS - they played in their middle and high school teams. One plays basketball and played with the county for years before and during middle school. ($60/season like I posted earlier) Off season she played on her own. Not with trainers or in camps - never in a club team. She is starting varsity. She also plays volleyball in the Fall but more for fun as she barely played before. She's on JV

Another plays softball. Now also plays travel because there were no good county teams after 5th grade and it costs about $800-900/yr to play year round. Includes all training, practices, games and tournaments. For grades K-6th grade softball costs were between $60-100 for the season depending on which league she was on. Uniforms free and they always had cleat drives so I could get $5 used cleats each season.


I am not looking to make my kids the shining star of some division 1 college sport or the smartest one in the school. They both are athletic and have high GPA's and take AP courses. I just want them to have a fun and normal childhood. Some of their friends are so over-stressed. There is enough years in adulthood for that.

It really depends -- in our situation we'll pay a lot for full-time private school so our expenses will go up when we have two in school.

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that my two kids will require $3000+ in expenses when they are older.

What do you plan on doing with them all summer while you are at work? Summer camps or a summer nanny alone will cost that -- never mind sports, extracurircular, clothing, electronics, etc. . .

Where do they play high school sports around here that didn't cost any money till high school? What sport?

Well I guess I am not the norm.

My kids didn't need braces, we never spend money, nor will I ever spend money on tutors or test prep. They play high school sports and one plays travel of a max of $1000/yr. One is in the Robotics club. One is in the debate club. Both free. They volunteer in camps so one pays $50/week and the other is free. Before that, they were signed up in Girl Scout camps which were no more than $150/wk and we did 2 weeks of that and one week of sports camp at $225. This summer one will lifeguard and actually make decent money. They both have been babysitting since 13 and have bank accounts. I haven't seen my store bills get much higher. Neither kid cares about name brands very much. My one daughter is a tomboy so the glitz and glam prices aren't there. When they were younger they played in country rec teams and the cost was about $60 a season.

So if you don't think they need constant activities and pressure to be the best. Oh and keeping up with the Jones' - it isn't close to what others are saying.