Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm biracial and my child looks white. She is who she thinks she is and not what any other human being would select for her. Jesus put her in her skin for his reasons. Enough of these race police trying to overstep him.

I completely agree with you, but my child happens to look black. I wish I could let her decide who she thinks she is instead of society telling her. She has as much European heritage as African, but those things don't seem to matter when it comes to race. It's solely about the color of one's skin. I hope we as a society get past this during my daughter's generation.

So what are you going to tell her- you look black and because of racism you'll be treated as black... so that makes you black. My biracial child "looks black". I tell him at all times he has the right to choose whatever he is. I explain that we come from a culture of embedded racism and many people of harbingers of white supremacy- including AAs who promote "one drop". He may face fall-out by racists, but that doesn't change who he is. He is biracial no matter what anyone thinks or says. People forget that the biracial experience includes getting the same discriminatory treatment AAs face, but they also get that same discrimination from AAs. So, he has to ready for the day he's called N. Doesn't make him not biracial. It makes him a victim of prejudice. He's also prepared for when he has to turn away from AAs who espouse hatred against white people. That's what it means to be biracial. One day parents of biracial kids will understand this. When it's not your experience, but that of you child, you don't understand their plight.

I was sitting in a meeting with 2 young colleagues. One colleague was white and the other black. They were talking about a friend of hers who is biracial, but identifies as white. Both women thought she was weird and insane because according to them, she was clearly black. All it did was make her seem crazy and have everyone talking about her. I'm sure she has no idea that her so called friends think she's a sell out -- including the white ones!

The woman being ridiculed is biracial--that's just a fact. She's no more black than she is white. She is free to identify however she wants...no matter what her "friends" say. I really don't know why people (especially blacks) are so invested in enforcing the one drop myth. Why do you folks (along with the KKK) work so hard to promote the idea of white purity and white supremacy?!? So sad.

There was an interesting article on a DNA and racial identification study conducted by 23andMe. Two points I thought were interesting:

1) white Southerners had more African DNA on average than whites in other parts of the country.

2) more germane to the OP's situation, individuals who had about 1/4 African ancestry or less tended to identify as white. Above that threshold, individuals tended to identify as black. So if trends hold, the OP's child may identify as white, although there are of course exceptions (e.g., Mariah Carey--I believe mother is white and father is an Afro-Venezuelan so mixed racially, but I believe Mariah Carey identifies as black).

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/25/science/23andme-genetic-ethnicity-study.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share&_r=0

I'm the EOTP biracial PP, and I have blue eyes and light skin (probably giving myself away to folks who know me, but oh well!). The blue eyes are actually from the "black" side of my heritage, as one of my parents is from a country with a lot of ethnic mixing. I identify as black, as do my siblings--I don't think this is at all a denial of our non-black heritage, but an acknowledgment and acceptance of how American society views folks with "one drop" of black blood. Our identification might be different if we lived in say, Brazil or elsewhere. But here, we're perfectly happy to embrace a black identity.

Just to introduce a little levity to the topic: I'm a walking Rorshach test, and OP's son may be too when he gets here. Similar to another PP, people have asked me if I'm mixed black and white (I'm actually black and another race), Italian, Moroccan, Lebanese, etc. I've been mistaken for Puerto Rican when I'm in Latino neighborhoods (I just nod and smile since don't speak a word of Spanish), Jewish in Forest Hills, Queens, and North African when traveling. I hate to look too conspicuous, so I like that I can pretty much blend in wherever I am, outside of say, Northern Europe. Some of it depends on whether I wear my hair straight or curly.

So there are advantages to looking ethnically ambiguous, people! It's not all tragic mulatta stuff.

Anonymous wrote:I think letting biracial kids self identify is fine. I can't think of too many people who would really object to that. But if you take someone like tiger woods, who self identified as Cablasian, not AA, you understand how other people's perceptions will still play a role. And they should be aware. Because i don't know anyone, white, black, latino, biracial, or anything else, who thinks of him as anything but the black golfer who cheated on his wife.

Yup all was well and good in Caublasialand until the scandal hit. You may want your interracial children to choose their own identify, but there's nothing wrong with prepping them for how society will view them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not completely off topic but my biracial D has friends who are American-born hispanics of african and european genetic origin who identify solely as hispanic and are offended if referred to as black
Smh they wouldn't even check the AA box on college applications.

I can't see what's wrong with this- they aren't AA, they are Hispanic, why should they check an AA box?

I think the point is they could check Black, of Hispanic origin -- but instead they check White, of Hispanic origin. That's how the Hispanic box works on most forms, the census, etc. it's an ethno-linguistic selection that maps onto race. Regardless for college who cares for affirmative action purposes (I think PP was alluding to that) which they check -- Hispanics still get a benefit, too.

They could check Green, of Martian origin - wouldn't make a damn bit of difference to the average teacher reliant on stereotypes who looks at em and sees "special needs student" or the average citizen reliant on stereotypes who looks at em and sees "thug" or the average cop reliant on stereotypes who looks at em and sees "suspect". Damn shame.

My DS is 1/4 AA and we have had no issues. We live in N. Arlington and go to a fairly diverse immersion school.

My DS considers both of us beige (I am the bi-racial parent).

Not sure what the future will hold for him but so far like me he is fairly generically "ethnic" looking. I get mistaken for everything. Vietnamese, Italian, Puerto Rican, Indian, you name it, typically people think I am whatever they are. I have a feeling DS will get the same thing. We have already experienced a bit of that. I guess the bonus of looking like many things is that no one can nail you down. I can't say I have experienced much racial discrimination in my life. Maybe I am just lucky, let's hope DS is lucky too.

The one thing we do know OP is that DC will be adorable as all children are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not completely off topic but my biracial D has friends who are American-born hispanics of african and european genetic origin who identify solely as hispanic and are offended if referred to as black
Smh they wouldn't even check the AA box on college applications.

I can't see what's wrong with this- they aren't AA, they are Hispanic, why should they check an AA box?

I think the point is they could check Black, of Hispanic origin -- but instead they check White, of Hispanic origin. That's how the Hispanic box works on most forms, the census, etc. it's an ethno-linguistic selection that maps onto race. Regardless for college who cares for affirmative action purposes (I think PP was alluding to that) which they check -- Hispanics still get a benefit, too.

Anonymous wrote:Not completely off topic but my biracial D has friends who are American-born hispanics of african and european genetic origin who identify solely as hispanic and are offended if referred to as black
Smh they wouldn't even check the AA box on college applications.

Why would they check AA? Sounds like they are Hispanic. They come in all shades.

Anonymous wrote:Not completely off topic but my biracial D has friends who are American-born hispanics of african and european genetic origin who identify solely as hispanic and are offended if referred to as black
Smh they wouldn't even check the AA box on college applications.

I can't see what's wrong with this- they aren't AA, they are Hispanic, why should they check an AA box?

I think letting biracial kids self identify is fine. I can't think of too many people who would really object to that. But if you take someone like tiger woods, who self identified as Cablasian, not AA, you understand how other people's perceptions will still play a role. And they should be aware. Because i don't know anyone, white, black, latino, biracial, or anything else, who thinks of him as anything but the black golfer who cheated on his wife.

Not completely off topic but my biracial D has friends who are American-born hispanics of african and european genetic origin who identify solely as hispanic and are offended if referred to as black
Smh they wouldn't even check the AA box on college applications.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm biracial and my child looks white. She is who she thinks she is and not what any other human being would select for her. Jesus put her in her skin for his reasons. Enough of these race police trying to overstep him.

I completely agree with you, but my child happens to look black. I wish I could let her decide who she thinks she is instead of society telling her. She has as much European heritage as African, but those things don't seem to matter when it comes to race. It's solely about the color of one's skin. I hope we as a society get past this during my daughter's generation.

This is an ignorant thread. All AA's in this area are biracial. It is the white and self-identified biracial people that are constantly trying to deny the AA heritage. In my generation, this was known and understood which is why we got rid of the paper bag test (test based on the color of one's skin) here in DC which you posters seem intent on bringing back. Tell your AA parent or grandparent to take a swab test for their genetics and maybe you will get a clue.

So "your generation" is in favor of the one-drop rule? Real progressive. Just go away. Identifying as biracial/multiracial does not "deny" anyone's AA heritage.

Sorry. Angry mom here. Didn't read any of the other posts. But here I go...

The baby isn't here yet? Then hold off. And don't worry about the white people, they can be taught. There is no advocating in the world that is going to convince black folks that your gorgeous light-skinned black boy should be treated less harshly. The ignorant "man up" business is awful. My son looks more Arab than Latino-ish, though obviously black. It's the black teacher that marked him low on socio-emotional development bc he didn't "act like a boy." I've just pulled him from aftercare bc it is fully populated by rachet little children. The 7yo boys with double pierced ears and huge fake diamonds get picked for every sport activity. My son has never once been included despite his linebacker build.

Maybe you refer to your child as "quarter black" simply to give readers a sense of how light he is likely to be. Maybe it's because you're really into this post-racial whatever. Take a look at him, especially as he "browns down" in the weeks after his birth, and realize the extent he'll be taken for Other.

Only you can do the complicated math on how your cultural investment, heritage, family history, political perspective, common sense, neighborhood, friends....everything mixes together to find a place for your boy in this world. I know that even as the very lightest black woman you've ever seen, I have always been committed to a strong emphasis on blackness.

But, man, I didn't see this black on black bullshit coming. I imagined boys would just huddle up and play ball. I worried about prepping him for how to handle policemen or whatnot. I was so wrong.

Be who you are and take it as it comes. I had no idea how hard it is to be a man, the bullshit is endless. With mean girls, at least I understand the rules.

Wishing you peace.

This thread raises a very important question albeit unintentionally - how long are we going to continue to enable and embrace the social construct of race which was invented for the sole purpose of determining who should have access to privilege, power, status, and wealth, and who should not?
Interracial relationships are not an anomaly anymore and more and more children of the up and coming generation are products of these relationships. So what are we going to do - are we going to force these biracial children to identify themselves as being one ethnicity or another? Are we going to take that decision of self-identification out of their hands and institute some sort of hue-scale to determine whether or not they're light enough to be considered white? Are we going to bring the "one drop rule" back into effect? Or can we begin the process of at long last ridding our society and culture of these harmful labels and the stereotypes that accompany them?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm biracial and my child looks white. She is who she thinks she is and not what any other human being would select for her. Jesus put her in her skin for his reasons. Enough of these race police trying to overstep him.

I completely agree with you, but my child happens to look black. I wish I could let her decide who she thinks she is instead of society telling her. She has as much European heritage as African, but those things don't seem to matter when it comes to race. It's solely about the color of one's skin. I hope we as a society get past this during my daughter's generation.

So what are you going to tell her- you look black and because of racism you'll be treated as black... so that makes you black. My biracial child "looks black". I tell him at all times he has the right to choose whatever he is. I explain that we come from a culture of embedded racism and many people of harbingers of white supremacy- including AAs who promote "one drop". He may face fall-out by racists, but that doesn't change who he is. He is biracial no matter what anyone thinks or says. People forget that the biracial experience includes getting the same discriminatory treatment AAs face, but they also get that same discrimination from AAs. So, he has to ready for the day he's called N. Doesn't make him not biracial. It makes him a victim of prejudice. He's also prepared for when he has to turn away from AAs who espouse hatred against white people. That's what it means to be biracial. One day parents of biracial kids will understand this. When it's not your experience, but that of you child, you don't understand their plight.

I was sitting in a meeting with 2 young colleagues. One colleague was white and the other black. They were talking about a friend of hers who is biracial, but identifies as white. Both women thought she was weird and insane because according to them, she was clearly black. All it did was make her seem crazy and have everyone talking about her. I'm sure she has no idea that her so called friends think she's a sell out -- including the white ones!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused by this conversation. It's interesting. Many of my biracial friends and their kids identify as black, which is very different from my kid doesn't look black and he's treated as Latino. If you raise your kid as black, they will believe they are black. It's almost as if you don't want them to identify. All of this 1/4 this and 3/4 that is just dumb. Eventually, someone is going to call you kid a nigger and you better be prepared.

Will the person calling them that name be you? Because you sound a little unhinged and I'm not sure what your point is. Regardless of how you raise your kid, other people's (and teachers') perceptions are going to play their own role.

This. These whack jobs that talk about all the racists who will be on the attack when it's really them need to get help. There's a lot of haters like the "n" word poster who are the problem for mixed kids. They're fine when they're left alone and allowed to choose their own identity without reverse racists spewing their Jim Crow nonsense.

There was a recent WaPo article by Lawrence Otis Graham, I believe his son is not mixed but fairer skinned, and he was called the N word for the first time at 15 and pretty much came undone. When parents tell you to prepare your child it's not because they wish for it to happen, but because it's pretty rough for that to happen period, and doubly so when the child is completely unprepared.

That article made me crazy. He essentially thought that he was buying his way out of racism only to be shocked when it happened.