Anonymous
12/31/2014 13:10
Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP Here - I have certainly received my comeuppance here today, which is fine. The dinner was more of a "wouldn't it just be more convenient for the foreign cousins (with 4 kids) - and our kids - if it was at a house instead of a restaurant" and me saying "I guess I can make it work so long as I don't have to cook for 15 people on the day after XMAS" as opposed to a big invitation. But no matter. Honest question, though, isn't it unusual for my in laws to invite other family members to our Christmas celebration anyway? I mean I would never visit them and inform them I was bringing extra people. I feel like it's akin to her inviting us to have Thankgiving with them, and me announcing that I would also be bringing my parents, my sister, and six friends, and then expecting her to either cook or coordinate dinner for 8 nights for people she barely knows. Or am I wrong about this too? Does accepting monetary help during my husband's unemployment (during which no one wanted my DH to have to go out of his way to actually care for the kids - hence the help with childcare) mean I am now the personal caterer for their extended family gatherings?
Depends on the family. This wouldn't fly in my family, however I married into a (foreign) family where this is perfectly acceptable behavior. I'll never forget the day (2 days after Thanksgiving) where my husband's family (husband's mom and brother & kids & wife plus her parents) was visiting, I was 8 months pregnant and had just cooked a huge meal, the doorbell rang and it was a couple we'd invited over (same nationality as my husband's family) with two of their adult children, one teenage child plus the adult children's significant other for a total of 5 uninvited guests. And you know what? I freaked out but ran to the store for more drinks/food and it was a lot of fun.
If you don't want to host, don't offer to host.
I wonder if I am from the same foreign culture as your husband - because I think it's fair to assume that when you invite couple with kids for Christmas, even older kids, you are inviting the whole clan
I am American enough to ask about the scope of the invitation, but I'd probably decline if I were invited and my kids were not. Glad you guys had fun. We have had random people show up to things and it's always fun. 
Anonymous
12/31/2014 09:07
Subject: Re:How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:I would have felt that offering to pay is rude. If you get invite to someone's house for dinner, do you offer to pay? Would be weird. As a hostess, I would be mortified if someone did this. I would not offer unless I could pay for it. It's not an idea you all came up with together. You offered, they accepted. You pay.
+1