Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 09:15     Subject: What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's the big deal? You are going to give a gift.....just give them whatever you would have spent in form of cash, check or a gift card. No big deal. Jeez people.


No, you are wrong. It is wrong to specify that you want cash. It is a big deal and stunningly rude.


It is rude to specify that you want cash -- in mainstream US culture, on most occasions. It's not universally true everywhere for everybody.



However, we are IN THE U.S. I don't care what you're used to elsewhere. You're here now.


We're in the US! We don't need to care what other people do elsewhere in the rest of the world! -- eh, PP?


NP here. What other people do in the rest of the world is all well and good. The point is that when you come to the US and you do something that is considered rude here, you're going to rub people the wrong way. e.g., inviting the whole class to a birthday party, most of whom are probably not used to YOUR cultural norms instead of those in the US and then specifying that you want cash for your six year old, which here is considered, as PP said, stunningly rude. You'll probably get a lot of people just not coming (and maybe they prefer it that way anyway).


Generally, we follow the cultural norms of the country we are in. Anyone who travels for business gets some training in what is considered good manners and what is considered bad manners in the countries they travel to.

It doesn't matter what country you come from, it is always a good idea to know and follow the cultural norms where you are, unless it is an event only for people from the home country or people are being invited specifically to partake in the customs of a different country.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 09:15     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
One year we got mainly gift cards and all to the same trendy store. I thought it was over priced, but we had fun spending them. (Justice)
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 09:14     Subject: What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:You all would honestly rather drag your small children to Target to buy a toy for a child's birthday party rather than to just put some cash you already have and would have spent at Target, into an envelope? If I thought cash were a generally acceptable child birthday present I would give it to everyone,


I wouldn't do either.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 09:13     Subject: What does no boxed gifts please mean?
I would just give a card. Or a gift in a gift bag.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 09:11     Subject: What does no boxed gifts please mean?
You all would honestly rather drag your small children to Target to buy a toy for a child's birthday party rather than to just put some cash you already have and would have spent at Target, into an envelope? If I thought cash were a generally acceptable child birthday present I would give it to everyone,
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 09:08     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:I'm thinking that a puppy or kitten would be the perfect present here.


Let's not let this one get buried in the fighting. Still laughing.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 09:04     Subject: What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's the big deal? You are going to give a gift.....just give them whatever you would have spent in form of cash, check or a gift card. No big deal. Jeez people.


No, you are wrong. It is wrong to specify that you want cash. It is a big deal and stunningly rude.


It is rude to specify that you want cash -- in mainstream US culture, on most occasions. It's not universally true everywhere for everybody.



However, we are IN THE U.S. I don't care what you're used to elsewhere. You're here now.


We're in the US! We don't need to care what other people do elsewhere in the rest of the world! -- eh, PP?


NP here. What other people do in the rest of the world is all well and good. The point is that when you come to the US and you do something that is considered rude here, you're going to rub people the wrong way. e.g., inviting the whole class to a birthday party, most of whom are probably not used to YOUR cultural norms instead of those in the US and then specifying that you want cash for your six year old, which here is considered, as PP said, stunningly rude. You'll probably get a lot of people just not coming (and maybe they prefer it that way anyway).
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 08:38     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
$10 in a card?
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 08:18     Subject: What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's the bid deal? You are going to give a gift.....just give them whatever you would have spent in form of cash, check or a gift card. No big deal. Jeez people.


No, you are wrong. It is wrong to specify that you want cash. It is a big deal and stunningly rude.


I don't believe it's a big deal. Why do the song and dance about a gift? Times are a changing....if you are going to give a gift, why not give something you know the person wants?

The problem is that I did not know what they wanted.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 08:01     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Someone should probobly tell the child's mother how incredibly tacky it is. She may have no clue. I would call and ask for clarification. If the host truly meant this as a cash grab, we would politely decline.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 08:00     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of this and I think it is horrible. I would not, absolutely not, comply. It is a GIFT - not a utility payment of cash.


You would give a boxed gift, when the invitation specifically asked you not to?


I sure would! In America, we don't write "no boxed gifts" on invites.


OK. And if you did that, it would be rude.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 07:59     Subject: What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:If someone specified no boxes gift, I wouldn't give a gift at all.


Me too.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 07:55     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of this and I think it is horrible. I would not, absolutely not, comply. It is a GIFT - not a utility payment of cash.


You would give a boxed gift, when the invitation specifically asked you not to?


I sure would! In America, we don't write "no boxed gifts" on invites.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 07:53     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of this and I think it is horrible. I would not, absolutely not, comply. It is a GIFT - not a utility payment of cash.


You would give a boxed gift, when the invitation specifically asked you not to?


PP didn't say that.

Do you get the difference between "gift" and "shakedown"?


Then I wonder what PP meant by "I would not comply".

And yes, I understand the difference between a gift and a shakedown. Unless there's an "or else" that the OP didn't tell us about -- perhaps "no boxed gifts, or else I'll TP your house and egg your car" -- the request for no boxed gifts is not a shakedown.

Also, it is absolutely possible for people to give cash as a gift. Just ask the IRS.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2014 07:49     Subject: Re:What does no boxed gifts please mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of this and I think it is horrible. I would not, absolutely not, comply. It is a GIFT - not a utility payment of cash.


You would give a boxed gift, when the invitation specifically asked you not to?


PP didn't say that.

Do you get the difference between "gift" and "shakedown"?