Anonymous wrote:OP here:
so, it seems like many feel we should automatically be able to afford private and that only "priorities" set us apart. we don't take extravagant vacations or drive amazing cars. we do have a nice house that we moved into this year (from a townhouse).
it seems we prioritize saving. it is important to us to pay for college and to have a 6-month cushion in case of whatever badness could befall. we also put away towards retirement.
i guess we should take another look at our numbers.
Okay, check the college savings. We made a few decisions regarding college savings. We are committed to paying the tuition for 4 years at a public college. We did 2 years prepaid and will save for another 2 years with the non-prepaid plan. For the room and board we will do what we can. Assuming we are both working we will pay as dd is in college. Whatever we are paying for dd private high school can be paid for college once she is there. If between 2 year prepaid plan, the other college savings plan equivalent for two years at a public university and the 20-25K/year (looking at parochial high schools) that we were paying for private high school we can't cover 4 years at a public college with room and board, I believe we can borrow against certain type or retirement accounts for educational purposes without a penalty.
We make about 250K now and it is doubtful we could pay for two in 30K per year private school and save the max in the 401K, and save 200-300K for private college per child, plus have outside savings including 6 month cushion.
I don't see any point in paying 30K a year for private school if you don't see a value in doing so ...especially since it could come at the expense of being able to pay for 4 years of private college. My situation is different because my child was not doing well in our highly regarded public school. It was stressful on my marriage and with work having lots of school issues to deal with. Being able to find a school that was a better fit for our child was worth every penny and I know I am fortunate that I could afford to leave the situation to find something that worked better. We ended up sending both kids partly because of logistics partly because of the perceived favoritism if we didn't aleast offer our other child the same opportunity.