Anonymous wrote:

You sound like a real peach- excuse me, a real bitch, in your words. love the internalized misogyny of your statement, and the punishing of this woman for getting a divorce. What are you, some nun from the 1800s?

Nope. If we say the new wife should have thought about marring a man with kids than we can say that the ex should have thought about things before she they got the divorce. I am a peach!! Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.

Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...

A I missing something. The average cost to raise one child is approximately 245k. OPs husband is spending less than that in contribution to raise three kids. That 240k number OP cited ( 20*2)(40*18) is for three kids, not one kid. OPs calculation equals the cost contribution for one child. Therefore, he is not paying nearly enough to meet the national average for three kids.

You sound like a real peach- excuse me, a real bitch, in your words. love the internalized misogyny of your statement, and the punishing of this woman for getting a divorce. What are you, some nun from the 1800s?

Anonymous wrote:She did not tell the dad that the kid had lice. What is that called, drumroll please... a bitch or her head is up her ass. The ex should have thought about a new mom replacing her when they got the divorce.

Anonymous wrote:"You know, that has to be one of the smallest perks I've heard of. These kids have to deal with the emotional wreckage of divorce, and a teensy benefit they get is that they have iPads and such (like most normal children in the US). You have admitted you are doing well, so why would you even think of causing an issue for the ex wife, who is now functioning as a single mom? I implore you (and I'm sure you will like this option much less than the sycophantic ones) to put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would respond if your husband decides one day to leave you, and you will have to raise your child with him on your own? Do you really, genuinely think that $500 a month would be enough? Especially for a teenager, who is going to innately be status conscious and have a lot going on?"

I think if dad is spending 500 per mo on kid and mom is spending 500 per mo on kid, on expenses that do not include her housing, medical expenses, or extra curricular activites, she is probably ok. Also I have given really honest answers the whole time. Also I am not sure why you think the grand plan is to undermine the mom. There's been no talk of amending support, cutting back etc. The whole issue is that I am upset she doesn't pay us what she is legally supposed to. No one is losing their soccer lessons or what have you. To the person who is ENRAGED about the lice shampoo, sorry you misunderstood. The mom bought the Walmart lice shampoo. I took DSD to the salon for the $120 professional treatment. I am upset bc the ex was too cheap to take care of it properly.

Anonymous wrote:"You know, that has to be one of the smallest perks I've heard of. These kids have to deal with the emotional wreckage of divorce, and a teensy benefit they get is that they have iPads and such (like most normal children in the US). You have admitted you are doing well, so why would you even think of causing an issue for the ex wife, who is now functioning as a single mom? I implore you (and I'm sure you will like this option much less than the sycophantic ones) to put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would respond if your husband decides one day to leave you, and you will have to raise your child with him on your own? Do you really, genuinely think that $500 a month would be enough? Especially for a teenager, who is going to innately be status conscious and have a lot going on?"

I think if dad is spending 500 per mo on kid and mom is spending 500 per mo on kid, on expenses that do not include her housing, medical expenses, or extra curricular activites, she is probably ok. Also I have given really honest answers the whole time. Also I am not sure why you think the grand plan is to undermine the mom. There's been no talk of amending support, cutting back etc. The whole issue is that I am upset she doesn't pay us what she is legally supposed to. No one is losing their soccer lessons or what have you. To the person who is ENRAGED about the lice shampoo, sorry you misunderstood. The mom bought the Walmart lice shampoo. I took DSD to the salon for the $120 professional treatment. I am upset bc the ex was too cheap to take care of it properly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.

Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...

A I missing something. The average cost to raise one child is approximately 245k. OPs husband is spending less than that in contribution to raise three kids. That 240k number OP cited ( 20*2)(40*18) is for three kids, not one kid. OPs calculation equals the cost contribution for one child. Therefore, he is not paying nearly enough to meet the national average for three kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry that the women on here are attacking you. TX is a lot less then DC. 1500 a month is enough. I dated a guy before I got married. His ex sounds like the one you are dealing with. Many women have a hard time believing that a biological mother can do a shitty job of taking care of kids and sliding on her part of the finances. I understand your frustration. I would defiantly document all of it! The not tell you about the lice, the money owed. You could take her to court. Could you take her back for custody? Would the kids rather live with you guys? You sound like a great step mom. I think the kids will probably see the difference between her parenting and yours and know all that you are doing for them. Make sure the money that you are setting aside for college can only be used by them. For the extras like soccer and prom and whatever. I would give the kid the money and say that the money is for half of what they want and that they are to ask her for the other half. "Sue here is $60 for half of soccer, please ask your mom for the other half." This way the kid realizes that its their mom that is actually saying no because she won't pay %50. Good Luck.

Thanks for the laugh. You are honestly suggesting she take her to court over a bottle of lice shampoo? I work in family and let me just say you are the kind of idiotic client we just love. Costing themselves hundreds or more likely thousands of dollars over an issue that costs less than $150. And earnestly believing that the judge will fully take your side and punish the other. Gotta love people who act like they're toddlers who never got taught how to share, and the court system is a kindly kindergarten teacher. Oh, how funny it is to watch these types learn the truth...

No I am not suggesting for a bottle of shampoo. If the mom is NOT taking care of the kids, like not getting them help for lice or a bacterial infection or whatever. What is in the best interest of the kids?? Who has their interest at heart? The bio mom sounds like a deadbeat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry that the women on here are attacking you. TX is a lot less then DC. 1500 a month is enough. I dated a guy before I got married. His ex sounds like the one you are dealing with. Many women have a hard time believing that a biological mother can do a shitty job of taking care of kids and sliding on her part of the finances. I understand your frustration. I would defiantly document all of it! The not tell you about the lice, the money owed. You could take her to court. Could you take her back for custody? Would the kids rather live with you guys? You sound like a great step mom. I think the kids will probably see the difference between her parenting and yours and know all that you are doing for them. Make sure the money that you are setting aside for college can only be used by them. For the extras like soccer and prom and whatever. I would give the kid the money and say that the money is for half of what they want and that they are to ask her for the other half. "Sue here is $60 for half of soccer, please ask your mom for the other half." This way the kid realizes that its their mom that is actually saying no because she won't pay %50. Good Luck.

Thanks for the laugh. You are honestly suggesting she take her to court over a bottle of lice shampoo? I work in family and let me just say you are the kind of idiotic client we just love. Costing themselves hundreds or more likely thousands of dollars over an issue that costs less than $150. And earnestly believing that the judge will fully take your side and punish the other. Gotta love people who act like they're toddlers who never got taught how to share, and the court system is a kindly kindergarten teacher. Oh, how funny it is to watch these types learn the truth...