Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...

So I guess my frugality is a reaction to both of those things. Having a large savings cushion is a security thing for me. Also, will always live below our means, in case one of us loses our jobs. We purchased a house affordable on one spouses income only. And even though we could afford for me to stay home with the kids, I can't see myself ever doing that, because I want to maintain the ability to support the family/myself in case of divorce/husband job loss, etc. We clip coupons, drive a ten year old car, brown bag lunch 90% of the time, don't shop high end fashions/beauty maintenance, cook at home, don't outsource housecleaning, garden services, etc. We are saving and investing 50% of our take home pay, which makes me happier than a Prada bag could ever do. But we spend on private school for the kids, and lots of kid activities and good, but not lavish vacations. Since my husband and I both didn't grow up with a lot of money (just middle class, not dcurbanmom "middle class", we already feel like we're doing better than our parents and feel quite satisfied with our quality of life. It doesn't bother me that we don't have fancy house or cars that other people in our peer group expect us to have, based on our income/professional status. HHI: 750K, equally split.

How does your household keep up two very high paying jobs, with more than one child, while outsourcing no housework? No snark. I am amazed and want to know how.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same as a PP. Once you've been poor, you get it. I'm not talking about "grad student on a tight stipend" poor. I'm talking about walk around with painful cavities in your teeth poor. It leaves a searing imprint.

+1.

I'll never forget a good friend of mine from law school was talking to me a few months ago. I had mentioned that, depending on the costs of an unforeseen house repair, I might be scaling back our summer vacation plans. He grew up well off. He LITERALLY could not comprehend the idea of scaling back a vacation, or once money is spent in one category, you had to take it out of a different budget category. LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY. Meanwhile, I grew up poor and the concept of having an "aw, fuck it" attitude to finances makes me think he is crazy...especially since I have a child whose security I need to look out for.

I wouldn't scale back a vacation under ethos circumstances either.

Where would the money come from though? Just put it on credit? Withdraw from savings? Stop saving for retirement? I do a zero based budget....the money has to come from somewhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What motivates me is the feeling I get when I spend money, I feel awful, sometimes sick to my stomach. When I save money and see my savings account balances I get happy and feel secure.

I also get very anxious after spending money. Sometimes I will even return what I purchased. I don't really know why I am like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like to be stressed about money.

I think the savers are more stressed about the money. Look at all the PP who stress out and return things because they feel guilt when they buy it. It's probably not expensive things either.

I would rather work a few extra years than love like that.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who frequently teases me for my frugality. I attempt to explain that financial freedom to me is a breath of fresh air. I never want to be stuck in the rat race because I don't have any savings. I especially dont want to be stuck working when im 70 or something because i have nothing. Everybody i know at work now in that situation is miserable. The money cushion makes me feel free by giving me options.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up house-rich and cash-poor in Potomac and hated being one of the poorest people in a rich area. My DH grew up with his parents always saving for a larger house (they moved into it when he went to college, so he never enjoyed it) and then my MIL (whom I loved dearly) passed away a few years ago at a young age. One of the last things she said to my FIL was "we should have gone to Hawaii when we had the chance". This made me realize that I needed to look at my priorities and work towards them.

Over the years, I've come to realize that my top priorities are: private (religious) school for the kids and family vacations . So we live in a tiny house, buy second-hand clothes, rarely eat out (I'm not a fan of most restaurants, anyway), don't eat meat that often (a lot of rice and beans, but with spices so they're tasty meals). But now we're starting to go on vacations, and everyone is having a ball. It's not as hard as we expected with little kids, and everyone is happier.

It also helps that I hate shopping (DH buys all of the kids' clothes and even some of mine). The only things I like to buy are really expensive, like expensive pots/pans, etc., which we already have (not so-expensive versions, but they work), so I don't need to buy any right now.

I won't, however, put a budget on our grocery bill, even though we've moved to more vegetarian meals; I can't stand the idea of only having X amount to spend on food. What do you do, go hungry at the end of the month? What if there's a huge sale on a pantry staple?

For every non-food purchase, I first think: is this going to make me happy in the long run? Will I use it and be happy that I own it, or will I have buyer's remorse every time I see it? That thinking helps me a lot.

Anonymous wrote:I don't like to be stressed about money.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is amusing that people on this thread are saying that they don't spend money on things they don't need and then listing private school as one of the things that they DO spend money on.