Ok thank you.. Got it

Anonymous wrote:I dont really know if I believe the men who say their wife is much more attractive than OW. i think saying that makes them feel they are putting their wife on a pedestal even tho they are unfaithful. Otherwise why wouldn't u just go find a tree stump w a hole in it. You really have sex w someone you dont find attractive? I dont believe it

DH here, let me assure you DW is more attractive than affair partners. Here is why.

I am conventionally attractive, but also financially successful. So I can attract a fairly high quality mate. If I were divorced, my next girlfriend would be just as attractive as DW, maybe more. But most women don't want to be an affair partner. So there are average looking women who I can attract a lot easier. Which is why women say they can get a hotter affair partner than their husbands. In the market for pure sexual relations, women are in demand and can attract a high quality mate. In the market for long term providers, attractive and financially successful men have the upper hand.

This isn't to say my affair partners aren't attractive, they definitely are. For what they lack in pure looks compared to DW, they make up in spades with enthusiasm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont really know if I believe the men who say their wife is much more attractive than OW. i think saying that makes them feel they are putting their wife on a pedestal even tho they are unfaithful. Otherwise why wouldn't u just go find a tree stump w a hole in it. You really have sex w someone you dont find attractive? I dont believe it

A cheater will have sex with almost any hole. They look for willing, not gorgeous.

Rather than gorgeous or willing, I think "enthusiastic" is the key.

Anonymous wrote:I dont really know if I believe the men who say their wife is much more attractive than OW. i think saying that makes them feel they are putting their wife on a pedestal even tho they are unfaithful. Otherwise why wouldn't u just go find a tree stump w a hole in it. You really have sex w someone you dont find attractive? I dont believe it

A cheater will have sex with almost any hole. They look for willing, not gorgeous.

I dont really know if I believe the men who say their wife is much more attractive than OW. i think saying that makes them feel they are putting their wife on a pedestal even tho they are unfaithful. Otherwise why wouldn't u just go find a tree stump w a hole in it. You really have sex w someone you dont find attractive? I dont believe it

Anonymous wrote:DW here. I cheat because I find other men attractive. They sometimes hit on me and I can't resist. The thing is I also find DH attractive. Sex is frequent and good at home, but new sex feels too good to pass up at times. I don't want to replace DH, I don't want a new husband. I don't compare him to my affair partners. They are all in separate compartments. For me, the variety is the appeal.

My H has a lower sex drive. That manifests not only in less frequency than I would like, but also in feeling less desirable. He and I don't flirt, don't sext. He doesn't like the anticipation of sex, which to me is one of the most intoxicating parts. Then to top it off he's good with 7 minutes of missionary. He doesn't give oral, so I won't either. It's infrequent, boring and unsatisfying. And a woman cannot live by self service alone.

DW here, my affair partners have always been better looking than DH and my DH is good looking. I will never "affair down", WTF? What would be the fun in that? If you are going to fuck around, shouldn't it be with someone irresistible?

Thicker ones feel ten times better than thin ones, even if it's long
Mmmm, Thank you for reminding me that I have a Dick women crave, lol. Short but ever so thick.

My 2 affairs were beautiful women over the last 2 yrs. One was a 10, plain and simply out of this world beautiful bod that was 20 yrs younger. The other one was exceptional for being 49. She was the kinkiest woman I've ever known. We did everything sexually you can think of.

However, the beauty and newness had nothing to do with why I cheated. It was for one reason only. Lack of Sex. I grew tired of begging and hoping over 30 yrs after having sex avg of 2-3x yr. In the last 2 yrs, something happened with her, and now we have sex 2-3 mth. That's a HUGE increase for me. BUT, it's too little too late. I have such huge resentment that I was denied all those yrs. I'm looking for another Affair now while I can still get erect. I'm not going to let her steal the rest of what sex life I have. 2-3x a mth, while I have to JO every day, just doesn't cut it.

I still have huge issues of guilt because I'm just not wired to cheat. My DW is my best friend and it kills me to do this to her. I couldn't even get erect until after several sessions with my AP because of the guilt. It really does make me so sad and angry that it has come to this. I just have to keep reminding myself that my DW is also the woman that has caused me immeasurable pain by rejection after all those yrs. Sometimes I could just cry thinking about it all. All those thousands of times of having to masturbate, it damaged my soul beyond help. Sometimes the Anger about it is just sooo much to handle. I can't leave her though, I love her and never want her to be hurt. I'm going to hold her tight and let her know she means everything to me when she's on her death bed.

Is she ever catches me, and it's not plausible for me to deny it, I'm going to tell her the truth. It was all about sex. Divorce me if you must, but just know that I still love you. Now you DW can make the hard choice I had to make. I just hope you'll live with the pain of 30 yrs like I did before I took action. By that time, I might be dead, LOL

Thank you for reading and helping me to get this off my chest. Although no matter how many times I write about it, it never seems to help me.

Anonymous wrote:Regarding above- you had children with your wife together? Is it wife's fault that these changes happened to her body? Your wife made sacrifices knowing her body would never be the same, and you find another woman as a result..
Please justify that

+1000

Guy said he had a thin one anyway. Ignore.

Regarding above- you had children with your wife together? Is it wife's fault that these changes happened to her body? Your wife made sacrifices knowing her body would never be the same, and you find another woman as a result..
Please justify that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those men who have cheated:

(1) Have your wives given birth?
(2) Have the women with whom you are cheating given birth?
(3) Given that men tend to be very visual and since a lot of the prior responses on this thread suggest men cheat for sex (rather than love / intimacy), are there any physical differences between your wives and the other women that draw you to the other women? For example, if they've never been pregnant / given birth, is part of the allure their physique - perkier breasts, no stretch marks, and perhaps most importantly, tighter vaginas? If that wasn't what initially drew you to the other woman (without kids), did you notice that difference while with the other woman (tighter vagina, perkier breasts)?

1. Yes - 2, vaginally
2. No - no kids
3. Yes - perkier tits and tighter pussy for sure

Not saying it's right or fair, but it is what it is. Wife was very tight before kids but now isn't. She did keels all day, every day for years, but it didn't seem to make a difference. Her tits are still fairly perky even after breast feeding both kids for a year each, but they're certainly not what they used to be. The more stretched out vagina is the bigger issue for me but, then again, although I'm long, I'm rather thin. I'm not faulting her at all. She gave birth to our two beautiful kids but to say things are anywhere near the same down there is just lying.

Lol, how would you feel if your wife cheated because she can no longer feel your thin stick and found a guy with a fat one? Thicker ones feel ten times better than thin ones, even if it's long.

Anonymous wrote:But what if you were caught 90%. Your wife is going crazy, not trusting herself .. When the person she trusts most in the world is being deceitful ?
Does that bother you or annoy you?^^

I can only speak for my situation. I would deny anyway because my DW has made it pretty clear she loves our marriage and has been clear that if I do cheat she doesn't want to know about it (she is low drive). So I think she would rather at least have a basis to deny it to herself than admit it happened and force some hard choices on a SAHM.

I feel guilty if we are having sex. If we are in a long drought, I don't. Actually, if we are in a drought, it feels great to cheat as it is a reminder that you are still desireable despite the rejection from your spouse. Caveat, I have always been able to seperate sex and love so an affair is purely sexual to me.

I almost think i could wrap my brain around reasons for cheating. Barely, but i am trying to get it, trying so hard.

BUT, dont you feel bad about disrespecting your spouse in your denial?

But what if you were caught 90%. Your wife is going crazy, not trusting herself .. When the person she trusts most in the world is being deceitful ?
Does that bother you or annoy you?^^

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those men who have cheated:

(1) Have your wives given birth?
(2) Have the women with whom you are cheating given birth?
(3) Given that men tend to be very visual and since a lot of the prior responses on this thread suggest men cheat for sex (rather than love / intimacy), are there any physical differences between your wives and the other women that draw you to the other women? For example, if they've never been pregnant / given birth, is part of the allure their physique - perkier breasts, no stretch marks, and perhaps most importantly, tighter vaginas? If that wasn't what initially drew you to the other woman (without kids), did you notice that difference while with the other woman (tighter vagina, perkier breasts)?

It isn't always the case that the OW is more attractive than the wife. Sometimes it is quite the opposite. I speak from experience.

My DW is better looking than every girl I have cheated with.

My dh is superior in every metric to those with whom I've cheated. It's not about that.

Same with my DW, she is far better than my affair partners. I cheat for some combination of newness, passion and desire that left my marriage when the kids were born.

If I were caught, I would deny till the end.