Anonymous wrote:I can see taking the husband's name for family consistency with children, but otherwise I have to admit I lose a little respect for women who do it. Not fair, I know, but it's a gut feeling.

(And I'm a guy, BTW.)

I can see taking the husband's name for family consistency with children, but otherwise I have to admit I lose a little respect for women who do it. Not fair, I know, but it's a gut feeling.

Anonymous wrote:I took DH's name. I'm a Christian, so when two people get married they become one, and that includes sharing a family name. It also means that I don't primarily identify with my family of origin, but with my new family (husband and kids).

I know plenty of faithful Christians in happy marriages who didn't feel the need to perpetuate this archaic practice.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I wanted the same last name as-husband's nn. I changed my name to First Maiden H-Last.

We eloped and did not do the engagement either.

If I remarry, I will keep my children's last name.

I find this the strangest of them all...keeping the ex-husbands name.

Yes. I wanted the same last name as my children. I changed my name to First Maiden H-Last.

We eloped and did not do the engagement either.

If I remarry, I will keep my children's last name.

Anonymous wrote:It's very common in some cultures for kids to take both their parents names- everyone I know in Puerto Rico has a hyphenated name!

and I'm sure pp thinks every Puerto Rican person is obnoxious.

I did something a little different, I wanted to hyphenate the kids last names and DH didn't (I'm now glad we didn't, seems like a pain). We discussed different options, but ultimately I took DH's last name and dropped my maiden name. My middle name is my mom's maiden name and I am very close to her side of the family, so I kept that as my middle and gave it to the kids. I like to think one name has been passed down patrilineally and one matrilineally at least going back a couple of generations. I did feel a little emotional about changing my name, but it really wasn't that big of a deal and I wasn't very connected to my maiden (is it really so much worse to have your husband's name instead of your Dad's, isn't the symbolism still the same?)

It was important to me that we shared a last name, and it certainly helps our family bonding, also it was definitely not an entire day at the DMV, took half a day and no big deal. I even still retain my self respect! I think whatever the woman/family will want to do will be just fine.

It's very common in some cultures for kids to take both their parents names- everyone I know in Puerto Rico has a hyphenated name!

Anonymous wrote:A woman can call herself whatever she likes, but I would never agree to hyphenating my children's names. On both practical and aesthetic levels, it's obnoxious.

I'm sure no one says that to your face, but they are thinking it, trust me.

Oh no! A stranger on the internet is judging me! The horror!

Look, those kids are coming out of my hoo-ha, so they're sure as hell going to have my last name. It's only fair that my husband is represented as well. If course, if he doesn't care, maybe they'll just have my last name. How radical!