I hired a young pretty nanny and she ended up sleeping with my neighbors husband. The whole thing was full of drama and left me with no nanny. I have since hired slightly overweight older nannies and have had no problems. Why set yourself up for trouble??

Anonymous wrote:I wish I lived in this magical world some of you live in. It's not about respect for women and womanhood. It's common sense. You don't stock your freezer with five kinds of ice cream when you're dieting.

There are women everywhere. He reaction only proves that he does indeed have a heartbeat.

Os someone who has employed a nanny, my ONLy concern with candidates is whether or not they would be good for my children or not.

I found this thread pretty funny and I"m going to share a story:

Our nanny is hot. She's not young, older than us in fact, but she's pretty, fun-loving, in shape, and wears tight, low-cut clothes all the time. I can't help look at her cleavage because it's always there and there's a lot of it!

Her pants are tight. They just are, always.

So far, 8 months in, no problems. I'm not attracted to her and I doubt my husband is either but he's a horn dog so it wouldn't surprise me.

but, we have a good marriage. Not perfect, but good enough.

Trust your gut OP with nanny....not just about DH and nanny but also about the care she provides. good luck!

A family member had a pretty young nanny from Brazil. She was super sweet, and nothing untoward ever happened. But I'll say that I would have gotten restless sleep with her under my roof! You won't be doing DH any favors by parading candy in front of him (which he will not touch) when you are waiting for jr to get a little bigger before getting your game back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was very inappropriate to the nanny for him to look her up and down. That is so wrong of him, even before considering that he's married.

Men look at women daily so why is it " so wrong" to look at a nanny that way?

+1 It's a natural response for how men are wired. The question is what he does after that reaction, and we hope he wouldn't act on his base impulses.

This is true for women as well. Everybody has eyes and attractions. Women try to hide them and drag them out, men look someone up and down and carry on.

If you have a good marriage otherwise, you should hire the best candidate regardless of how attractive they are.

OP, did you ask your husband why he checked her out? Did you tell him it made you uncomfortable?

I am disappointed in the large number of posters who seem to believe that men default to cheating on the mothers of their children. I am equally disappointed in the poster who said that a man is less capable of selecting an appropriately qualified nanny than a woman because of some BS about a mother's instinct. Do your husbands know you guys think so little of them?

I wish I lived in this magical world some of you live in. It's not about respect for women and womanhood. It's common sense. You don't stock your freezer with five kinds of ice cream when you're dieting.

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed how so many enlightened dcum women are so eager to take a job opportunity from a young, qualified woman because of this kind of lookist crap.

I hope your professional organizations don't treat you with the same fundamental lack of respect for your womanhood.

Just shaking my head.

"Lookist"? "Lack of respect for your womanhood"?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had five nannies and none was of a child bearing age. That to me is more important than looks. Even homely nannies are dangerous if they are young.

Nannies are dangerous because they are basically assuming the role of a wife. So right there the husband is presented with an option of a different woman as his wife. One needs to be very careful here.

You sound batshit crazy.

Lmfao. This.

Anonymous wrote:I have had five nannies and none was of a child bearing age. That to me is more important than looks. Even homely nannies are dangerous if they are young.

Nannies are dangerous because they are basically assuming the role of a wife. So right there the husband is presented with an option of a different woman as his wife. One needs to be very careful here.

You sound batshit crazy.

I am amazed how so many enlightened dcum women are so eager to take a job opportunity from a young, qualified woman because of this kind of lookist crap.

I hope your professional organizations don't treat you with the same fundamental lack of respect for your womanhood.

Just shaking my head.

Anonymous wrote:I have had five nannies and none was of a child bearing age. That to me is more important than looks. Even homely nannies are dangerous if they are young.

Nannies are dangerous because they are basically assuming the role of a wife. So right there the husband is presented with an option of a different woman as his wife. One needs to be very careful here.

I call BS. Presented with another option for a wife? Really?

OP, nothing wrong with the decision you made. You know your husband and your marriage best.

I have had five nannies and none was of a child bearing age. That to me is more important than looks. Even homely nannies are dangerous if they are young.

Nannies are dangerous because they are basically assuming the role of a wife. So right there the husband is presented with an option of a different woman as his wife. One needs to be very careful here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. My lord some of these answers are insane! I'm not afraid to hire an attractive. I was concerned about the disrespect of him eyeing her up and down in front of me but I know my DH won't ever stray. We have decided to hire her. I'm sure, as many mentioned, she isn't interested in my 37 year old husband.

Very smart move. But please let him do as he pleased with her. Do not stress your dh unnecessarily.

+10000

OP, you sound very naive. It has nothing to do with the nanny, or you, individually. It has to do with human nature of men! If he sends her the wrong signs, she may act on them, and then it may progress. Don't say we didn't warn you. GL.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's good to respect your husband, the nanny and her profession, and yourself. However, I think it's insanely naive to discount human nature. Men find certain women especially attractive. Those are not the women you move into positions in your house. Common sense of the ages, learned the hard way by millions of people.

You can't live life in a cocoon, but this is not a test anyone needs. There will be no prizes for passing, but horrific penalties for failure. The years when your kids are little are very hard on a marriage. Why make things harder?

I agree completely with this.

First of all, putting aside the issue of the husband, leaving your baby with a nanny will be its own emotional situation. And you might find some feelings of jealousy that the nanny gets to spend so much time with your baby. (and I'm not at all passing judgment here. I'm actually pro-working mom.) So that will be an adjustment in and off itself.

Why add into the mix the possibility of jealously over the attention your husband gives this other woman, too? You would be setting yourself up for some trying times ahead. And it doesn't sound like your husband knows how to behave around attractive women, especially potential employees. (hint: no potential boss should be obviously looking a woman up and down.)

And that leads to the third thing. Although I'm sure it's rare, if your husband's behavior becomes noticeable to the nanny and you decide it's not working out and fire her, she might take some sort of action regarding sexual harassment/wrongful termination. I'm not a lawyer, and I could be wrong, but it seems like a recipe for trouble. The reality is that both you and your husband would essentially be this woman's boss. If your husband is creepy around her, it's only a matter of time before she notices. At the end of the day, it's unfair to her as well to work in a situation where her boss is ogling her.