Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:58     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.


You can't just sign away your rights. That doesn't happen without a damn god reason, not even with the parents' consent. Allowing parents to opt to terminate rights fell out of favor with the courts more than 15 years ago.


SO, if my child's birthparents consented then how did that work given you say they can't. It actually is very simple. They just sign, we file for adoption and adopt.


It's not as simple as a signature. A judge has to grant the termination, which they will do if there is someone waiting to adopt.


Yes it is. A judge only terminates the rights if the birthparents do not consent. Ours consented. It was a simple process. They signed consents in front of their attorney and we submitted them to the court with our home study and other paperwork, got a court date, went and finalized.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:55     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
How is this any different than a woman giving up a baby for adoption?

What if a guy came on here and said, "I'm dating a woman I really like, but six years ago, she was pregnant, gave the child up for adoption and hasn't since changed her mind."

The guy didn't abandon his child. He gave the child up for adoption to the child's grandparents.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:49     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.


You can't just sign away your rights. That doesn't happen without a damn god reason, not even with the parents' consent. Allowing parents to opt to terminate rights fell out of favor with the courts more than 15 years ago.


SO, if my child's birthparents consented then how did that work given you say they can't. It actually is very simple. They just sign, we file for adoption and adopt.


It's not as simple as a signature. A judge has to grant the termination, which they will do if there is someone waiting to adopt.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:41     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:There is a timeframe the adoption consents are valid for. That makes no sense. The grandparents probably were hoping mom would get it together.


This.

My cousin spent a few years getting mental health services and job training before resuming custody of her young child from her mother.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:37     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.


You can't just sign away your rights. That doesn't happen without a damn god reason, not even with the parents' consent. Allowing parents to opt to terminate rights fell out of favor with the courts more than 15 years ago.


SO, if my child's birthparents consented then how did that work given you say they can't. It actually is very simple. They just sign, we file for adoption and adopt.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:35     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.


There is a timeframe the adoption consents are valid for. That makes no sense. The grandparents probably were hoping mom would get it together.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:21     Subject: Re:He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:

I am also contrary. It's actually the more selfish thing to claim a baby you don't really have the means to raise.

Instead, he did the selfless thing, and let the baby be raised by grandparents who can (let's assume) provide a stable loving home.

I have this view because I'm adopted, and I'm glad my birth parents were selfless enough to put me up for adoption and give me a chance at a great life.


+1 from another adoptee.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 21:16     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:My dh had a daughter at 21. He wasn't dating the mother of his child but they would occasionally have sex. After the baby was born she got really possessive over him, she would drive past his house and if she saw his girlfriends car at his place she would scratch his car etc. he begged her to see his daughter and she would only allow visits when he was single. He stopped contact with his daughter bc him and his ex always argued. It got to the point where he had to call the police because she would beat him etc. She told me she used to act that way when she was younger And can't believe she did. Dh and I have a child together and I couldn't ask for a more perfect father for my child. He barges him, takes care of him, plays, kisses and hugs him.


I'm not sure I fully follow your story but are you saying your husband stopped seeing his young daughter because of his ex's abusive and criminal behavior? And this child now lives full time with that unbalanced person? And he thought this was a better idea than hiring a lawyer and insisting upon his rightful access?

But he plays with your kid so yeah, whatever. Sounds like a prize.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 19:06     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.


You can't just sign away your rights. That doesn't happen without a damn god reason, not even with the parents' consent. Allowing parents to opt to terminate rights fell out of favor with the courts more than 15 years ago.


You can sign away your rights in an adoptive situation. But if both parents legally freed the child for adoption six years ago, it really should be finalized by now. Even contested adoptions, or adoptions with missing birth parents don't usually take 6 years.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 18:34     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.


You can't just sign away your rights. That doesn't happen without a damn god reason, not even with the parents' consent. Allowing parents to opt to terminate rights fell out of favor with the courts more than 15 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 18:25     Subject: Re:He signed away his parental rights
Total deal breaker. Get out now.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 17:44     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:OP, have you thought about what your BF would do in the case where something happened to you, and he as stepfather, would be responsible for the care of your DC???


Not the OP, but step-parents aren't responsible for children of a deceased spouse. They actually have to adopt the child in order to be legally responsible. I taught a middle schooler whose stepmother put her in foster care after the father died in an accident. Her biological family was all in Africa. The stepmother moved back to the UK. No fuss, no muss.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 17:40     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
OP, have you thought about what your BF would do in the case where something happened to you, and he as stepfather, would be responsible for the care of your DC???
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 17:30     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.


More likely, the child is now entering public school and they need the adoption paperwork for legal reasons. My aunt had a cousin's kid for 2 years before she needed to produce any documentation. He was about 5 or 6 and it was for school enrollment.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2014 17:26     Subject: He signed away his parental rights
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most judges will not grant a termination of parental rights with a very good reason. Things like a long history of drug abuse, which includes an inability to care got themselves and child abuse. If someone else is trying to adoption, they will allow it.

Just because he didn't have the financial and emotional resources? I'm not buying it.


There are several kinds of adoption. Newborn and older child adoption is very easy if the biological parents consent. My son's birthmom parented her older child and placed her younger with us. She's a great parent with a great kid. She was not in a position to parent two kids. If she had a 3rd child and parented I would fully support it.


According to OP, they both signed over their rights (to the grandparents or social services?)after the baby was born. Perhaps, the grandparents have been dealing with red tape for the last six years, especially given the mom's criminal history.