Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. This story is starting to seem a bit odd to me. If your baby is starving why wouldn't you just get the tube? And if it's a gagging issue why does it matter if it's breastmilk or formula? And if anyone's breastmilk is ok (no dietary restrictions), why isn't regular formula ok? If your baby so desperately needs this breastmilk why don't you have the "means" to get to DC or MD to pick it up when you said money is no issue? Why not put your baby in the car seat and go pick it up? I have frozen breastmilk that I cannot use because DS has milk protein intolerance and I was seriously thinking of dropping it off to this woman at Starbucks but I'm starting to think that this story just isn't adding up. Oh, one more thing, if a pediatrician calls Hopkins to get your child in they are not gong to turn them away. I have more experience with doctors at Hopkins than I would like to admit and this is not something they would do. I think there is more to this story.

OP, hang in there. You don't have to justify your thoughts or actions to anyone here. The bottom line is that nothing in life is black and white. It is natural if one feels a little ambivalent about a major medical procedure or accepting donor milk. And to the pp above, formula is BASED on cow's milk or soy. BM with cow's milk in mother's diet is not based on milk just has a milk protein in it. Also, the same thing has happened to me where my pediatrician calls the specialist and they couldn't get me in. It happens, PP. Have a little more empathy. The more to the story part is the nuance that OP doesn't want to share with the world. Not wanting to share intimate details with strangers is normal.

Fair enough. I wanted to help and give her my milk but I just can't get my head around this whole idea of feeding a baby untested milk. I think HIV can be passed this way. But I agree, until you are in this position you don't know what you would choose. I'm sorry OP for being judgmental and I hope everything works out.

Anonymous wrote:NP here. This story is starting to seem a bit odd to me. If your baby is starving why wouldn't you just get the tube? And if it's a gagging issue why does it matter if it's breastmilk or formula? And if anyone's breastmilk is ok (no dietary restrictions), why isn't regular formula ok? If your baby so desperately needs this breastmilk why don't you have the "means" to get to DC or MD to pick it up when you said money is no issue? Why not put your baby in the car seat and go pick it up? I have frozen breastmilk that I cannot use because DS has milk protein intolerance and I was seriously thinking of dropping it off to this woman at Starbucks but I'm starting to think that this story just isn't adding up. Oh, one more thing, if a pediatrician calls Hopkins to get your child in they are not gong to turn them away. I have more experience with doctors at Hopkins than I would like to admit and this is not something they would do. I think there is more to this story.

OP, hang in there. You don't have to justify your thoughts or actions to anyone here. The bottom line is that nothing in life is black and white. It is natural if one feels a little ambivalent about a major medical procedure or accepting donor milk. And to the pp above, formula is BASED on cow's milk or soy. BM with cow's milk in mother's diet is not based on milk just has a milk protein in it. Also, the same thing has happened to me where my pediatrician calls the specialist and they couldn't get me in. It happens, PP. Have a little more empathy. The more to the story part is the nuance that OP doesn't want to share with the world. Not wanting to share intimate details with strangers is normal.

PP here - note this was three years ago - I hope that the fenugreek restriction is gone now - so don't let it discourage anyone from trying to donate to a bank, maybe things have changed!

This whole situation makes me so sad. I had the opposite problem of OP, so it was much easier to fix - my DD had bad reflux and would not tolerate my breast milk no matter what I ate/eliminated but would take hypoallergenic formulas. Nobody could really pinpoint why (there were so many theories, including thickness of breast milk that for some reason wouldn't be remedied by adding powder formula to thicken it up). So sometimes there are some odd mysteries out there and I don't doubt that there are reverse situations in which only breast milk would be tolerated.

I have nothing to say about the propriety of soliciting/accepting breast milk from strangers except that it does show how desperate the situation must be.

The thing I am taking away from this thread (in addition to my heart breaking for OP - seriously, as a mom to reflux premie who thankfully grew out of it, this is simply heartbreaking to read), is that we as a society might consider doing more to make milk banks more accessible for both babies and donating moms. As a mom of a premie, I know they need donated milk, but there are other babies that also could benefit. I personally tried to donate all of my frozen breast milk (I pumped for months in the hopes that my baby would eventually take the milk, all to no avail) and the banks that I contacted wouldn't take it because I had been taking fenugreek, which I think is so incredibly common among women who pump and breastfeed. It was incredibly depressing to realize I had literally hundreds of ounces of milk that went to waste.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Breastmilk donated or sold online is often tainted, study says."

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/21/health/breast-milk-donated-or-sold-online-is-often-tainted-study-says.html

I would probably chose a g-tube or try harder with formula before I would feed my baby a stranger's milk. Anyway, ask your doctor.

That's pretty scary. Although I wonder what they would find in a study analyzing milk that pumping moms have in the fridge/ freezer for their own babies. Because when I donated, I donated from the same batches that I fed my own child. I was always careful about cleaning my hands, bottles, pumping supplies, etc. It's not like I had lax hygiene for donated milk.

I read the study and it was deeply flawed. THey only accepted milk from people who didn't care who it was going to. Anyone who asked about the baby was discounted. They also didn't insist on any particular method of transport (including accepting milk that had not been packed with ice or adequately kept frozen), and there were issues with when and how they tested it.

Anonymous wrote:Stranger still: someone who says they aren't the OP posted a special request to Jeff requesting that the OP's thread get sticky status (!) for the holiday weekend so that no one would miss her post while they were away:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/387015.page

FWIW, I'm the PP who posted the NYT article. I can't even understand the concept of feeding my precious baby breastmilk from strangers found online (or anywhere else), however well-intentioned they clearly seem to be. No way no how. Zealots may not wish to acknowledge the genuine safety risks involved, but that doesn't change the facts. The baby's safety - and, for that matter common sense - should come way before any cherished notions of the sanctity of breastmilk.

OP. Wow, I had no idea. The mom who did that, thank you. I haven't even posted on any facebook or listserve. At this point I will probably only collect from the 3 moms I have communicated with (and a big thank you to them).

OP.

"NP", the tube is indeed the next line of action. I did mention multiple issues, one being slow motility. BM is better digested than formula (I wonder why ) and that helps since LO is able to consume more. I can understand how your line of work may make you think the way you do but if you think I am going through all this effort to make a quick buck from someone's BM, you are mistaken (I did offer compensation in my intial post). What possible motive would I have? I wish I could write more and that my baby was as portable as you suggest. I am exhausted and have minimal support.

Our pediatrician was steering us to the two specialists she had worked with before. I requested the call to Hopkins (based on a mom's recommendation here - she had a similar case) and hence the nurse made the call, was told 'no' and she moved on to the next suggested specialist on the ped list and got us in the next day. Fact.

As I indicated in an earlier post, just trying to bide some time in trying one more option till the date we get the tube.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am exhausted and don't have the time or energy to write any more. The reason I have taken the time to respond is so that you can perhaps try to keep an open mind about others in a similar situation. No need to come to starbucks and good luck with your MPI baby (and I mean that sincerely).

Stranger still: someone who says they aren't the OP posted a special request to Jeff requesting that the OP's thread get sticky status (!) for the holiday weekend so that no one would miss her post while they were away:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/387015.page

FWIW, I'm the PP who posted the NYT article. I can't even understand the concept of feeding my precious baby breastmilk from strangers found online (or anywhere else), however well-intentioned they clearly seem to be. No way no how. Zealots may not wish to acknowledge the genuine safety risks involved, but that doesn't change the facts. The baby's safety - and, for that matter common sense - should come way before any cherished notions of the sanctity of breastmilk.

PP here. When you drop milk off to someone do you worry about potential liability. If, god forbid, something happens to the baby I think you are risking a huge lawsuit. I guess it's the lawyer in me but this seems like a crazy idea.

NP here. This story is starting to seem a bit odd to me. If your baby is starving why wouldn't you just get the tube? And if it's a gagging issue why does it matter if it's breastmilk or formula? And if anyone's breastmilk is ok (no dietary restrictions), why isn't regular formula ok? If your baby so desperately needs this breastmilk why don't you have the "means" to get to DC or MD to pick it up when you said money is no issue? Why not put your baby in the car seat and go pick it up? I have frozen breastmilk that I cannot use because DS has milk protein intolerance and I was seriously thinking of dropping it off to this woman at Starbucks but I'm starting to think that this story just isn't adding up. Oh, one more thing, if a pediatrician calls Hopkins to get your child in they are not gong to turn them away. I have more experience with doctors at Hopkins than I would like to admit and this is not something they would do. I think there is more to this story.

OP, glad you got some local milk. Just another plug for Human Milk for Human Babies - Virginia on Facebook. The moms are so lovely and supportive. Good luck to you. You are a great mom!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you tried Human Milk For Human Babies - Virginia on Facebook yet? There are lots of donors in the Fairfax area.

Please don't let that NYT article scare you. That looked at milk that people bought online and sent through the mail. Local mom-to-mom milk donations are nothing like that. It's not for profit and you can meet the mom, who originally pumped the milk for her own baby.

I'm in Fairfax County too and wish I could help, but my supply is low and we're nearly weaning. I can recommend a great ped in Springfield if that would help.

+1. People who sell are not concerned about quality. I wouldn't buy milk. And I would rather go with local mom to mom donations.

Source please? What is the factual basis for this comment? If that's really what you got out of that article, you need to read it again. I only included excerpts in my post for brevity's sake. Sharing breast milk is risky, period. It is a fact, not an opinion.

There were numerous responses to the study posted online after the news got a hold of it. Google is your friend. Many milk-sharing sites, lactation consultants, and breastfeeding support leaders posted excellent, though rebuttals. The study was conducted using the scenario of procuring milk through the MAIL, most of which were from sites where you could buy milk from people claiming to be selling breast milk, which was then posted through the mail.

The study specifically EXCLUDED any milk donors who asked to speak to
Or meet with the recipient. That would pretty much knock out ANY reputable donor.

That's just not how mainstream milk sharing is done. If I have gone to the trouble of pumping and saving hundreds of ounces of milk, which I originally intended for my own baby, you can be sure I wouldn't just give it to someone who emailed me and wanted it mailed. It could be a breast milk fetishist for all I know. I want it to go to a real baby, and I want to meet the parent and I'm sure the parent would want to meet me. Exchanges are usually in person, freezer to cooler, not by mail.

Do not scare this mom with a study that does not at all apply to how she might share milk here locally.

Anonymous wrote:OK well clearly there is more to this story, since OP says that her husband thinks she is nuts and is now in favor of the gtube.

You are nuts. I think it is one naysayer in the thread, sockpuppeting. OP is looking at it from all angles. My DH thought I was nuts when I decided to pump exclusively when my DD didn't latch. That didn't mean I was doing wrongl OP did say thepat her DH and herself were both in agreement to delay the invasive procedure and the medical professional seems in agreement if the baby is able to gain weight on BM. Don't you have anything better to do than come and crap on this thread. As a PP said, another mom needing surplus is so low and it is tough to donate to milk banks. I know.

OP, take the donations, it's harder to donate to a molk bank then to individuals, and the odds of a donor mom desperate ly needing the milk later are very, very, very low.

That study looked at buying milk anonymous ly and getting it mailed to you sometime with no ice or antthing ,so it doesn't really apply.

Hope your baby continues to do better.

OK well clearly there is more to this story, since OP says that her husband thinks she is nuts and is now in favor of the gtube.