The fat hatred just shocks me. I'm convinced all of you are cranky because you're hungry.

Everyone is fighting a different battle and some are more important than others. I have an invisible disability, and a side effect of my medication is to make it easier for me to gain and hold on to weight. I'm also a full time mom and something has to give. My family spends time walking rather than separate time at the gym away from our child.

Why should I stress over something I can't control, when I can control how I feel about myself, how I treat others, and how I put myself together? It really does go to show that fat discrimination is the last bastion of prejudice.

People notice scarves because they are so weird. A person wearing a scarf is screaming for attention.

I agree about scarves. I'm a teacher so I don't have the $$ for designer clothes. I shop at the Loft and outlets like Banana Republic and J. Crew for pants, capris, shorts, etc. I wait until they are having a good sale and then stock up. So I mostly wear solid colors but I have quite a few scarves. People notice them right away. They don't notice that I wear kind of boringish clothing. My clothes fit well but they aren't wow clothes. My scarves really make the outfit.

Anonymous wrote:Scarves do wonders.

For what? What do they do exactly?

Scarves do wonders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this thread sound so uptight and miserable.

To the PP who keeps harping on the "overweight PP": you are a horrible person. Class isn't related to weight, or maybe your definition is purely based on conventional, mainstream, repressive, patriarchal definitions of class. Class, as I see it relates to someone having a sense of style, confidence, self-possession, and grace - qualities that have nothing to do with weight, and everything to do with your character. You have absolutely no character, so I see you as a person of trash value, based on your previous comments.

There is more than 1 PPtalling about overweight not being polished, FYI.

New poster here. Then this poster is talking to all of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two questions

1. I have black and brown shoes that are scuffed. I can't buy new ones, but realize they immediately flag me as 'not polished' can i really polish them?? Like my dad does with his shoes??

2. Short hair doesn't flatter me, but my shoulder length ends up in a ponytail by 1030 everyday (WOHM). Is there a way to plan this & make it look polished?

Thanks!

There is a shoe shine man at Nordstrom Montgomery Mall. He does a great job if you don't want to do it yourself.

For your hair, look for barrettes or ties with decorations on them so you can look like the ponytail was intentional, rather than a sign of defeat. At the least, use clear rubber bands to put it up and wrap a piece of hair around.

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this thread sound so uptight and miserable.

To the PP who keeps harping on the "overweight PP": you are a horrible person. Class isn't related to weight, or maybe your definition is purely based on conventional, mainstream, repressive, patriarchal definitions of class. Class, as I see it relates to someone having a sense of style, confidence, self-possession, and grace - qualities that have nothing to do with weight, and everything to do with your character. You have absolutely no character, so I see you as a person of trash value, based on your previous comments.

There is more than 1 PPtalling about overweight not being polished, FYI.

Anonymous wrote:Two questions

1. I have black and brown shoes that are scuffed. I can't buy new ones, but realize they immediately flag me as 'not polished' can i really polish them?? Like my dad does with his shoes??

2. Short hair doesn't flatter me, but my shoulder length ends up in a ponytail by 1030 everyday (WOHM). Is there a way to plan this & make it look polished?

Thanks!

There is a shoe shine man at Nordstrom Montgomery Mall. He does a great job if you don't want to do it yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm overweight and give off a very polished look. It's all in the way you carry yourself. My make up is always impeccable. I wear high end workout clothing. Large diamond studs (mine are fake from nordstrom but no one would ever know). A little bit of self tanner goes a long way. Understated designer bag.

As for hair, my advice is that if you're a brunette, go dark. Light brown, washed out hair doesn't work for anyone.
Do a deep, rich brown and it will lighten your face and give you a more polished, exotic look.

Where do you get your workout clothes? I'm overweight and short - most of my weight is in the midsection and upper arms. So hard to find good stuff.

Lululemon hems complentary.

They do not sell to overweight. Lucy brand (love) sells at different lengths.

Some people on this thread sound so uptight and miserable.

To the PP who keeps harping on the "overweight PP": you are a horrible person. Class isn't related to weight, or maybe your definition is purely based on conventional, mainstream, repressive, patriarchal definitions of class. Class, as I see it relates to someone having a sense of style, confidence, self-possession, and grace - qualities that have nothing to do with weight, and everything to do with your character. You have absolutely no character, so I see you as a person of trash value, based on your previous comments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm overweight and give off a very polished look. It's all in the way you carry yourself. My make up is always impeccable. I wear high end workout clothing. Large diamond studs (mine are fake from nordstrom but no one would ever know). A little bit of self tanner goes a long way. Understated designer bag.

As for hair, my advice is that if you're a brunette, go dark. Light brown, washed out hair doesn't work for anyone.
Do a deep, rich brown and it will lighten your face and give you a more polished, exotic look.

I'm sorry, but overweight says "I don't give a fuck," not "polished."

I'm sorry, but the person who wrote this is cruel, crass, and about as unpolished as you can get: I am not overweight -- in fact, I am formerly anorexic and thank God have left those days behind -- but I am mightily aware that anyone who feels this kind of comment is appropriate to post even anonymously is weighed down with emotional baggage. To the person who posted this: I hope you feel better about yourself soon. From the vantage point of 50, I've learned that this kind of comment comes most readily from someone whose insecurities, anxieties, or 'other stuff' gets in the way of kindness.

To the poster who realizes polished comes in all kinds of ways, kudos to you.

Wow, PP you are an ass.

My best friend has a physical impairment that no one sees and no one knows about, just one or two of us close friends. Some might consider her overweight. Mostly, men love her and women (who do not know her) hate her.

Honestly, my best friend is gorgeous. She is outgoing, happy, accomplished, successful, educated, kind and generous. She has a great life and a great family. She keeps haters at bay, smartly. She should be the type who is smug, snarky and a nasty (according to the behavior on this board) - like the male "big swinging dick" syndrome (read: teeny tiny peeny IRL). But she is wise and knows that life is short, and nasty people are a dime a dozen.

She is loaded, but dresses very casually. Sometimes yoga pants and sneakers, for example. But she is such a great person to know, that she comes across as polished to me and everyone that knows her. She has her life together better than anyone, and she is not a jerk about it.

That kind of person is the most polished to me. Anyone that knows her wants to be just like her, and she is always asked for advice because of how successful she is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:re no makup

I'm 40 and was on maternity leave. While on leave, I did not wear makeup and found myself looking younger and my skin looking much better. I was puzzled because I, for sure, was not sleeping well.

Now that I'm back at work, I don't wear makeup or even wash my face much over the weekends and I think it's helping keep my skin fresh somehow.

also, now I wear very subtle makeup...nothing shiny except maybe a little lip gloss over matt lipstick...maybe.

My skin is much happier when I leave it alone.

My skin is happiest when I'm sweating daily. My skin glows after a good workout and I don't need makeup.

Anonymous wrote:re no makup

I'm 40 and was on maternity leave. While on leave, I did not wear makeup and found myself looking younger and my skin looking much better. I was puzzled because I, for sure, was not sleeping well.

Now that I'm back at work, I don't wear makeup or even wash my face much over the weekends and I think it's helping keep my skin fresh somehow.

also, now I wear very subtle makeup...nothing shiny except maybe a little lip gloss over matt lipstick...maybe.

My skin is much happier when I leave it alone.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the overweight pp. The comments don't bother me because I've been proving them wrong my entire life. I like to eat and I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I've also been well liked my entire life. It stems from confidence, sense of humor and relatability. I think people trust me because I've shown myself to be worthy.

Some women have a polished look but it's all about the labels and they give off a snooty vibe. Yes- I aim to be in clothing that fits appropriately, I wear constume jewelry, a classic bag, my hair and skin are in good condition, but most importantly I try to smile and engage people in conversation. To me, this is polished.

I've been operating this way forever and despite my troubles with weight, it's given me a very fulfilling life. Even now as a private school mom where I expected to get some pushback for my weight, we have been welcomed into social circles full of skinny girls. I think if you are generally enjoyable to be around, weight is a non issue.

Of course they like you! You are the "fat friend"
You make them feel better about themselves.