I remember a poster in a long-ago thread talked about her mother, who while she was dying said she couldn't believe she wasted time fretting about her looks and considering a facelift, that she only then realized it was so meaningless and unimportant (or something to that effect). It really stayed with me and has been a comforting thought as I see my looks and youth fade in the mirror. Aging is part of the cycle of life and if you have your health and the ability to appreciate each day then it's all okay. I try to just take a deep breath and find meaning in other things, other parts of life. It's not easy because in my youth I was a person whose looks people commented upon a lot and it became part if my identity, which was not necessarily a good thing.
But it us what it is, I can't afford to fight it and I don't want to risk my health, so I trying to be zen about it.

at 51. Suddenly I looked old. I think part of it may be that I am in pain due to a back injury, and that causes stress and ages me. Part is due to the onset of menopause. But definitely my skin is starting to look like cheap plastic wrap, that doesn't really cling, instead of the good stuff that clings in a form fitting way to the food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 31 and I look great so I couldn't tell you.

Like it won't happen to you. Just you wait.

Yep. And you're going to have a hard time with aging if this is the way you think at 31.

She's just speaking the truth. Who didn't look awesome at 31?

Hmm. I don't think every single 31 year old looks awesome, by any stretch of the imagination.

Maybe so. But they don't look "aged", either. 31 is, in fact, quite young/youthful.

Anonymous wrote:Start to show about 30's ( look at the hands), start to break down 45-50.

You mean break down health-wise?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 31 and I look great so I couldn't tell you.

Like it won't happen to you. Just you wait.

Yep. And you're going to have a hard time with aging if this is the way you think at 31.

She's just speaking the truth. Who didn't look awesome at 31?

Hmm. I don't think every single 31 year old looks awesome, by any stretch of the imagination.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's probably the menopause years, it would make sense that once you can't produce, the body/face doesn't need to look attractive anymore.


Does it really matter? I'm going to try to accept aging, but I will admit that I'm vain.

It's true. Evolution doesn't care about feelings or vanity. Evolution is very politically incorrect and rude. It makes women unbangable once the odds go up for unviable offspring. Fighting it would be a full time job like show business . Beautiful women are often unrecognizable as they age. It's awful and if they are feminists on top if it, they we lose 100% of any attractiveness we ever had to men.

I wouldn't say unrecognizable, but yes, traditional beauty fades.
But I find my mother and grandmother beautiful still, just in a different way. Neither ever colored their hair or had work done. But they still look like themselves.

I'm not even 50, yet, and I already look "older". In fact, I could pass for 50 and I'm only 48. Sucks.

Anonymous wrote:I am 38 but everyone says I look 20ish. I was thinking of joining the police department and doing undercover work in college.

They're lying to you.

Hard to tell for me because I had a baby at 36, and that's about the same time I noticed things going downhill a bit. Nothing major, just a bit of slowing of the metabolism, my first gray hairs during the pregnancy (and then no more until age 41), a few more faint lines.

I'm 42 now, and physically, things are starting to deteriorate a bit. I eat pretty well and I exercise daily, but stress and sleepless nights can take a toll. I'm pretty sure my next glasses will have progressive lenses, and I have to be more religious about moisturizing. I break out more often, which is annoying. I'm graying around the temples enough to have started dying the hair.

It's not terrible, though, and as an non-smoker and non-tanner (and frequent exerciser), I still look better than a lot of women in my circle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 31 and I look great so I couldn't tell you.

Like it won't happen to you. Just you wait.

Yep. And you're going to have a hard time with aging if this is the way you think at 31.

She's just speaking the truth. Who didn't look awesome at 31?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 31 and I look great so I couldn't tell you.

Like it won't happen to you. Just you wait.

Yep. And you're going to have a hard time with aging if this is the way you think at 31.

affected not effected. sorry, typing too fast without thinking.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It hit me the second I gave birth. Seriously. I was 40 and didn't have a wrinkle on my face. No forehead lines, no crows feet, nothing. By 41, lack of sleep, poor diet, not enough time for exercising, left me with crows feet, dry skin, and the first signs of wrinkles on my forehead. Unbelievable that all this happened in one year.

Huh? Do you mean when you gave birth in you 30s and then you aged when you hit 40?

I was 40 when I gave birth.

Oh ok, I think that births later in life tend to wear you down more than those earlier on.

The pro of having kids later is you look good until you have them. The decline for most women is post kids and menopause years.

I hate blanket statements like this.

for my mother, all of my aunts on her side, both of my grandmothers and my great-grandmothers, there was no decline after having kids. They were all small builds. And this includes my mother having my brother in her mid 30s.

All of the women in my family were fine up through their 40s. Menopause did kind of have an effect. Wrinkles weren't so much the issue as much as a change in metabolism and a little weight gain (nothing severe, though).

My suspicion is that the drastic and relatively permanent hormonal change of menopause really effected metabolism. None of the women in my family ever had to actively watch what they ate or fit in formal exercise (they were all active/nervous types with cleaning and gardening type things, but none of them lifted weights or ran or did strength training or cardio). I think that it likely hurt them that they didn't have a lot of muscle tone or a formal exercise routine.

So I think the real driver of visible aging in women is the combination of genetics and hormonal shifts. Pregnancy is a hormonal shift, but all of the women in my family actually found pregnancy to be a time they felt really healthy and energized. It was menopause that seemed to hit hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 for me.

+1


Its seems like this winter not only took a toll on my mental outlook, I'm looking older all of the sudden. What I'm doing is I'm trying to exercise harder to sweat more so that I can look better. Also, I know I could be a prime candidate for Botox between the eyebrows, but I simply can't afford it right now.

Interesting you say this. I'm a heavy exerciser and if I'm trying to look good for a night out, I do some HEAVY cardio earlier in the day. Something about sweating profusely makes my skin look great. I will sweat hard and then sit in the steam room for some time, all the while drinking about a gallon of water. My skin just loves it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give up alcohol. It ages people even if they are social drinkers or the "a glass of wine a night" kind. And focus on getting a good nights sleep as often as you can. Lack of sleep and alcohol age people on the inside and the outside.

Female, mother of three, age 45, fair/dry skinned, teetotaler here. Proud to say that I have pretty skin, but it's work.

Agree with PP who said it's your lifestyle choices of your early twenties that come home to roost and show up on your face in your mid 30s. See Robert Plant, Lindsey Lohan for examples of hard living = aging or, attend your 25 high school reunion. The then-gorgeous, perpetually tanned, skinny girls are now, middle-aged women who have leathery, crepey skin and could be described as "time worn" or "hard."

I'm convinced that for women, taking good care of your skin (avoiding the sun, wearing sunblock/hats/sunglasses as a matter of habit, NOT sleeping in makeup, daily moisturizer and even not drinking alcohol help) but so too does not being too thin and maintaining your weight.

Yes, genetics plays a role, but ever seen those photos of identical twins where one's a smoker/sun worshiper/drinker and the other is not? That's telling. I see this with my years younger sister - she had a misspent youth, lots of drinking, time outside in the sun and it all shows on her face and she's 38. Most everyone assumes she's older than I am, and that's sad.

Yes, I'm paying the price now for my misspent youth. But boy do I have some stories tell!! Lol.