Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do. I have posted before. I can not stand women in happy marriages. I am in an old fashioned marriage. No one better come along happy and enjoying life. I will drive them out of the neighborhood. Just like I did to one neighbor with the perfect life.

To the bold---wtf???

This is the SAHM poster who is proud of being the neighborhood bully.

I think she lives in a fantasy world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do. I have posted before. I can not stand women in happy marriages. I am in an old fashioned marriage. No one better come along happy and enjoying life. I will drive them out of the neighborhood. Just like I did to one neighbor with the perfect life.

To the bold---wtf???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it's true that when a couple has young children, they dislike each other most (or a lot) of the time? Anecdotally, it seems like this is the case.

Seems like that's the case on DCUM, but we have a 2.5yo and a 9mo, and we're sort of besotted with each other. I love my little guys, but my favorite thing in the world is curling up next to him to chat and watch tv after they've gone to bed. He honestly makes me a better person; I hope I do the same.

Same here, we have a 5 year old and a three year old and even when are sometimes over-exhausted and arguing, parenting with him is so much fun.

I'm guessing you both SAHM? The well defined roles for each parent makes for much easier relations, because there is a lot less negotiation, and overall a lot less labor to be done (since there is no WOHM job to be done A.T. A.L.L.). Most likely in this scenario, I'm assuming money is not an issue either, otherwise you would feel compelled to work.

To the husband's benefit, when the SAHM is home alone, they are generally interacting mostly with children and maybe other moms; DH is the first male they might really talk to all day, and this adult time seems even more special and fun and like a break from the day (rather than WOH where everyone has already had plenty of grown-up time).

Anonymous wrote:I do. I'm a single mom, and it would be really nice to have a partner (not just a coparent with a little custody) for a lot of things. It would definitely help financially, and it would be nice to have another adult around to talk to sometimes. I have plenty of friends, and that helps a lot, but at night after my daughter goes to bed, it's just me. Plus it would be cool to have sex without having to go through the stress of dating.

I would rather be single than in an unhappy relationship, though, and I've seen a lot of those around me. Single definitely has its perks.

Anonymous wrote:I have been jealous in the past, and totally empathize with people who are sad or lonely in their marriages. It is way less lonely to sit on a couch alone every night, than it is to sit next to someone on the same couch that is totally disconnected from you. I'd rather just enjoy the solitude of being alone than trying to connect with someone a million miles away.

I got engaged, started planning my wedding, then started to have reservations. Then I found out I was pregnant.

We decided to go through with the pregnancy, moved our wedding way up, and started our "life". Everything felt like it was on hyperdrive, and I was constantly mentally trying to S-L-O-W it all down, felt so overwhelmed, and was miserable for a long time in my marriage. Honestly, if it hadn't been for my DC, I would have walked my ass out the door without a backward glanceX10 everyday of our first 2 years of marriage. For the next 3 or so, I cannot say that I ever felt close to my DH or happy with my marriage. We still are so different in many ways. None of our issues stemmed from violent behavior, substance abuse, or emotional cruelty (those are true deal breakers and should be for everyone). But we were like angry, resentful ships in the night, and I thought we could never be happy. I was truly in a miserable, loveless, sexless (I'm talking at least a year between sex at times) marriage.

But i can truly say that i am very happy and fulfilled in my marriage today. We actually decided to have another DC after 6 years together, which most of the beginning of our marriage I would have bet was an impossibility. My DH makes me laugh everyday, I am happy to be his wife now, and I seriously love having our family. That doesn't mean he doesn't annoy the crap out of me at times too, but if we were able to weather the initial handful of years, I kind of feel like the rest becomes easier. I don't recommend this for everyone or anyone, because who knows what will happen. I only say all this to offer hope to people that still want to find love with their spouse (which I had almost zero interest in most of the time).

So what's my point? It's that I think it's rare for anyone to have a fully happy marriage from day one to the end. Everyone hits hideous rough patches. And you can truly find happiness in marriages that have been horribly unhappy at times.

Anonymous wrote:I do. I have posted before. I can not stand women in happy marriages. I am in an old fashioned marriage. No one better come along happy and enjoying life. I will drive them out of the neighborhood. Just like I did to one neighbor with the perfect life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it's true that when a couple has young children, they dislike each other most (or a lot) of the time? Anecdotally, it seems like this is the case.

Seems like that's the case on DCUM, but we have a 2.5yo and a 9mo, and we're sort of besotted with each other. I love my little guys, but my favorite thing in the world is curling up next to him to chat and watch tv after they've gone to bed. He honestly makes me a better person; I hope I do the same.

Same here, we have a 5 year old and a three year old and even when are sometimes over-exhausted and arguing, parenting with him is so much fun.

I'm guessing you both SAHM? The well defined roles for each parent makes for much easier relations, because there is a lot less negotiation, and overall a lot less labor to be done (since there is no WOHM job to be done A.T. A.L.L.). Most likely in this scenario, I'm assuming money is not an issue either, otherwise you would feel compelled to work.

To the husband's benefit, when the SAHM is home alone, they are generally interacting mostly with children and maybe other moms; DH is the first male they might really talk to all day, and this adult time seems even more special and fun and like a break from the day (rather than WOH where everyone has already had plenty of grown-up time).

Anonymous wrote:yes, I do as well.

Sometimes when my husband and I have one of our "disagreements" we'll end up having to go out with others, and we pretend nothing is wrong.

I have two thoughts - how many other people here are pretending they are happily married? OR, why am I the only one here pretending I am happily married? Why can't we have what THEY have.

It's a lonely feeling.