Anonymous wrote:Just a thought- I guess what it comes down to is earning potential over one's lifetime. The 3-5 years of daycare may not be ideal to you- but it brought me an advantage. 2 1/2 years into it and I made much more than I had estimated I would have made. I'm glad I stayed with my career because I had seriously underestimated my earning potential. My career is also my passion- which is something I'd had long before a family.
Like most things in life I don't think it's really quite as clear cut as either you stay at home and live on less or work and don't see your kid and make tons. Just because one decides to work doesn't mean you only see your kid on the weekends because they go to daycare. It takes effort, but we stagger our schedules and our child is not in daycare 40hrs/wk. We do activities and have playdates during the week, too.

I am the poster that wrote this.
Like others, I love doing things at home as well. Organizing, cleaning, decorating, baking... I love it all. I do these things, too. I find it relaxing (and sometimes my friends think I'm crazy). We almost always have dinner at home as a family- even if it's a crockpot meal. We are on a budget so some of those things save money also. I sometimes feel like a homemaker- even though I work outside of the home full-time.

On that note- I refuse to work more than 45-50 hours a week. I just don't. I also try really really hard not to travel- I know without a doubt that would kill me. Because of those two things - I don't work at the "internationally renowned" company anymore. That is fine- and a perfect tradeoff. I have a friend who does. She travels 3x/week or more... her child gets picked up by a sitter everyday from daycare, when all the other working moms are at the park with their kids after work- hers is with "Miss So-and-So", she's usually never actually "present" when you're having a conversation with her and rarely makes eye contact (she's usually vigorously emailing or texting work). I feel endlessly sorry for her kid- who is craving attention and time with her. Her HHI is more than mine but to me- no amount of money is worth that much time away from family.

I guess this was to say it's all a little push and pull.

Anonymous wrote:Just a thought- I guess what it comes down to is earning potential over one's lifetime. The 3-5 years of daycare may not be ideal to you- but it brought me an advantage. 2 1/2 years into it and I made much more than I had estimated I would have made. I'm glad I stayed with my career because I had seriously underestimated my earning potential. My career is also my passion- which is something I'd had long before a family.
Like most things in life I don't think it's really quite as clear cut as either you stay at home and live on less or work and don't see your kid and make tons. Just because one decides to work doesn't mean you only see your kid on the weekends because they go to daycare. It takes effort, but we stagger our schedules and our child is not in daycare 40hrs/wk. We do activities and have playdates during the week, too.

Had DC as a single parent on 48K 4 years ago. In 2014, my income will be nearly double. Made 75k in 2013. Being the sole income earner inspired me. The other benefit is my retirement accounts have ballooned during that time.

I save but don't penny pinch and we definitely enjoy life. I haven't figured out how I'm paying for summer camp either (due next month), but I'm hoping that I have a nice tax refund to cover it. If not, I'll figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:Just a thought- I guess what it comes down to is earning potential over one's lifetime. The 3-5 years of daycare may not be ideal to you- but it brought me an advantage. 2 1/2 years into it and I made much more than I had estimated I would have made. I'm glad I stayed with my career because I had seriously underestimated my earning potential. My career is also my passion- which is something I'd had long before a family.
Like most things in life I don't think it's really quite as clear cut as either you stay at home and live on less or work and don't see your kid and make tons. Just because one decides to work doesn't mean you only see your kid on the weekends because they go to daycare. It takes effort, but we stagger our schedules and our child is not in daycare 40hrs/wk. We do activities and have playdates during the week, too.

This post is something I struggle with. I have a higher earning potential and a more stable/in-demand skill-set than DH, but hate what I do. Well, I don't hate the work itself, but it's just work to me, it definitely is not a passion. My passions are at-home things (cooking, sewing, gardening) that would not pay well if I tried to turn them into a business. DH has decent earning potential (he's unemployed right now, but normally makes about $60K, in 10 years, that should be around $90K, I make about $70K right now) and IS passionate about his career, most of his hobbies even tie into what he does at work.

I don't think we'll ever be able to afford for me to stay home full-time. Hopefully, before the next kid, I'll be able to cut back to part-time. I day dream about working 20 hours a week instead of 50 and being able to volunteer at school and actually work on projects that I love. I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Not in government and my firm does not do any government work. I work 40-45 hours per week. I do not travel. I answer emails/some calls from my phone or home laptop after hours sometimes- but really not that big of a deal. Once in awhile I need to stay late for a function. I typically work through my lunches/eat at desk.

Anonymous wrote:Just a thought- I guess what it comes down to is earning potential over one's lifetime. The 3-5 years of daycare may not be ideal to you- but it brought me an advantage. 2 1/2 years into it and I made much more than I had estimated I would have made. I'm glad I stayed with my career because I had seriously underestimated my earning potential. My career is also my passion- which is something I'd had long before a family.
Like most things in life I don't think it's really quite as clear cut as either you stay at home and live on less or work and don't see your kid and make tons. Just because one decides to work doesn't mean you only see your kid on the weekends because they go to daycare. It takes effort, but we stagger our schedules and our child is not in daycare 40hrs/wk. We do activities and have playdates during the week, too.

Agree, problem is most career fields outside of government work require 60+ hr work weeks and neither of us has a desire to work in government or businesses that live off the government. Dual income government work is great, 90k+ income each on 40-45 hr work weeks, if you can handle the incompetence.

Anonymous wrote:
95K here - SAHM and live in McLean - we definitely penny-pinch compared to our neighbors, but it can be done!


Where do you live in McLean on this HHI?

Chesterbrook school zone, but I admit we were lucky. Bought a townhouse back in 1998 on the border area of Clarendon when prices were pretty low. Sold it a couple of years ago at triple the price and bought a house using all the proceeds. Still pay 50% of our take home pay for the mortgage and taxes, but DC is getting a great education. We penny pinch with everything else. We'll sell upon retirement and move to a lower cost of living area. Federal employee - so no, we can't leave the area now. Need to stay here through retirement.

Just a thought- I guess what it comes down to is earning potential over one's lifetime. The 3-5 years of daycare may not be ideal to you- but it brought me an advantage. 2 1/2 years into it and I made much more than I had estimated I would have made. I'm glad I stayed with my career because I had seriously underestimated my earning potential. My career is also my passion- which is something I'd had long before a family.
Like most things in life I don't think it's really quite as clear cut as either you stay at home and live on less or work and don't see your kid and make tons. Just because one decides to work doesn't mean you only see your kid on the weekends because they go to daycare. It takes effort, but we stagger our schedules and our child is not in daycare 40hrs/wk. We do activities and have playdates during the week, too.

True, you may not have a choice, but if you have the luxury of deciding between a making 30-40k and sticking child in daycare or PT 10-20k and being responsible for core child development my opinion is the child comes first.

If however, a career is highly important or needed for income then obviously I would keep working. We don't have a desire to both be making 150-250k each in 10 years and only see our kids on the weekend. Bad enough one of us will be doing that. With one career with earning potential well above 100k we will be able to live comfortably.

PP with the budget. I know how much daycare costs, as mentioned I am ignoring it for now. Also, that budget is only 42k year, so there is still room for daycare if absolutely needed. But, at what point is income greater than daycare costs, 40/50/60k. At 30k it is a no brainer that parent should SAH, the benefits outweigh the costs in my opinion. Even 40-50k if spouses income is near the 90-100k+ mark

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I don't know that that is always true. An income of 30K would probably net ~23K at the most after taxes, probably more because people at the lower income scale qualify for the childcare tax credit, dependents, if you put anything into retirement that is not taxable, possibly even the EITC depending on how much the spouse makes. If you have one kid in daycare at 1200 a month, that leaves 8600-10,000 in additional income from working. If your spouse is only making 30/40/50/ even 60K, an extra 8-10K per year goes a long way toward helping out with rent, food costs, etc.

Additionally, often times, people are not going to make 30K forever. If it's a graduate school stipend, a fellowship, a paid internship, some lowly paid entry level job for a competitive field, etc. your earning potential is definitely going to increase over time, and the 30K might be temporary. If two people are making 30K with a baby and paying for daycare, it won't be a luxurious life, but still leaves enough left over for bills.

Anonymous wrote:I am the post who asked about sharing budget, but not the pp.

However, I second pp about child-care leaving a room for savings and vacation. If you have to pay for day-care it could cost between $1200-2000. Anyways, thanks for sharing, I will look into Virgin for cell-phone service as I currently pay twice as much.

PP with the budget. I know how much daycare costs, as mentioned I am ignoring it for now. Also, that budget is only 42k year, so there is still room for daycare if absolutely needed. But, at what point is income greater than daycare costs, 40/50/60k. At 30k it is a no brainer that parent should SAH, the benefits outweigh the costs in my opinion. Even 40-50k if spouses income is near the 90-100k+ mark.

If we move to another city will likely go to PT and SAHM to save money. Money is only useful up to a certain point, after that it is excess for crazy retirement dreams, more junk and bigger house. With only one income, career wise, we will still be on track to pull in more than we will need regardless of location.