OP, that's nothing! Last time my MIL came over, she:

1. wrecked my brand new car with DS inside

2. started a fire in my kitchen

3. spilled an entire costco sized bottle of laundry detergent on our cream color carpet (talk about a b@tch to get out!)

We are hoping next visit goes better....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has a reason to be pissed - why do old people always get a pass for breaking or damaging things in homes??

Every single time my IL's come to visit, something breaks.

They are worse than kids! At least kids can go to time out

+1

And they're the first people to correct you when you do anything they dislike or think is wrong. My mother can hardly contain herself when I boil water in her house because they're a "right" way to turn on her stove.

But if you dare criticize one little thing, they start crying and saying you are an ungrateful child, how could you hurt them like this, etc, etc.

My inlaws come from Europe and they bring their own tea bags, their own canned vegetables (!!) and own gravy mix (just salty sludge really) when they visit.
Because they can't bear to eat anything even a little bit out of their comfort zone.

So true. Reminds me of something I realized about my mother's cooking. She used to get a can of this special soup stock powder made in Europe from her old neighborhood. It was something she and my grandmother used for years.

Guess what was on the list of ingredients? MSG

OP I am curious what you do when you go to their house as you say that you don't bring food (that is rude), you don't do your own cooking (that is rude) and the kids won't eat her meals (they don't like her food). So do the kids just not eat for the times you visit there? you wouldn't ever bring food (snacks, food they like into the house)?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has a reason to be pissed - why do old people always get a pass for breaking or damaging things in homes??

Every single time my IL's come to visit, something breaks.

They are worse than kids! At least kids can go to time out

+1

And they're the first people to correct you when you do anything they dislike or think is wrong. My mother can hardly contain herself when I boil water in her house because they're a "right" way to turn on her stove.

But if you dare criticize one little thing, they start crying and saying you are an ungrateful child, how could you hurt them like this, etc, etc.

My inlaws come from Europe and they bring their own tea bags, their own canned vegetables (!!) and own gravy mix (just salty sludge really) when they visit.
Because they can't bear to eat anything even a little bit out of their comfort zone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be nice if she asked where to put the garbage before shoving it down the disposal. Just sayin'.

Thank you! Not OP here.
And for people excusing MIL putting potato peels, onions and cabbage dopwn a disposal - get real.
She is being a pain by bringing the food she wants to eat, and then acting like she did nothing wrong.

Sorry, its a cranky old woman passive aggressive power struggle and I would be fuming if I had to pay for this behavior.

But now you have a great excuse OP - she will never be allowed to cook in your kitchen again!

That's her husbands mom, not a guest. I'm appalled that the husband was asking them for money. Maybe he owes them back all he money they spent raising him.

I like you, OP. Hang in there!

Anonymous wrote:Can you please explain what is "heavy 1950s type food"?

Not Op here, but I think she means gut-buster food consumed by an older generation that doesn't like to exercise and would rather take high blood pressure and cholesterol meds than change their diet or at least pull back on the food.

Anonymous wrote:OP has a reason to be pissed - why do old people always get a pass for breaking or damaging things in homes??

Every single time my IL's come to visit, something breaks.

They are worse than kids! At least kids can go to time out

+1

And they're the first people to correct you when you do anything they dislike or think is wrong. My mother can hardly contain herself when I boil water in her house because they're a "right" way to turn on her stove.

OP has a reason to be pissed - why do old people always get a pass for breaking or damaging things in homes??

Every single time my IL's come to visit, something breaks.

They are worse than kids! At least kids can go to time out

Anonymous wrote:It would be nice if she asked where to put the garbage before shoving it down the disposal. Just sayin'.

Thank you! Not OP here.
And for people excusing MIL putting potato peels, onions and cabbage dopwn a disposal - get real.
She is being a pain by bringing the food she wants to eat, and then acting like she did nothing wrong.

Sorry, its a cranky old woman passive aggressive power struggle and I would be fuming if I had to pay for this behavior.

But now you have a great excuse OP - she will never be allowed to cook in your kitchen again!

It would be nice if she asked where to put the garbage before shoving it down the disposal. Just sayin'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Now it comes out! Your issue is really that you don’t like the dynamic between your ILs, their attitudes and having to share your kitchen. Yeah, I’m sure I’d be annoyed by some of their attitudes but the meals are a non-issue. They’re trying to work with you by bringing their own food. Grow the fuck up or start ordering out!


Unless they have health reasons, it is extremely rude to bring food to someone else's house. A lot more is going on. Some people like to show control through food. I am willing to bet your MIL or FIL or both are heavy.

But which is more rude - a guest bringing their own food/cooking or a host who insists on providing food she knows a guest doesn't like? Why doesn't OP (or OP's DH) learn how to cook what her FIL likes? I'm sure her MIL would be happy to pass on knowledge of their family food traditions.

And if you have 5 guests that all like different things, what then, cook 5 different dinners? FIL needs to suck it up and be flexible when visiting.

Puh-lease. It's not 5 different guests. The ILs have provided a solution to the problem. If OP doesn't like it, she needs to provide a different one other than FIL just sucking it up. Talk about rude and controlling! Eat my food or you get nothing! She should be ashamed of herself. I feel sorry for her DH!

Well, not yet, but what about next time? My grandfather was this way- only liked very specific things and my grandmother accommodated him. For example, didn't like mozzarella cheese so when making lasagna he would get his own special lasagna without mozzarella. I was like hey, I don't like ricotta- could you make me a special lasagna without ricotta? Little bro didn't like meat and asked for one without meat. My poor grandmother just didn't want to say no. Luckilyfor her my mom discovered our requests and nipped it in the bud. :)

Obviously we can only take OP's word for it but it sounds like she makes a variety of things whereas FIL wants something very specific. That's rude- it's completely different from a dietary restriction like vegetarian, or even aversion to a few certain foods. There's accommodating, and then there's batshit crazy.

OP, your superior attitude about food choice isn't helping, either. Your FIL likes what he likes. You like what you like. Find a happy medium, even if it means making food you wouldn't normally serve. If he were vegetarian, you wouldn't insist he eat meat, would you? I think vegetarians are nuts, but I always abide by their choices when I host them.

As for the garbage disposal issue, easily solved: Get rid of the garbage disposal. They're only good for making plumbers rich.

Clearly, the issue isn't that OP's FIL doesn't like her cooking. There's a lot more going on. This issue with the food is just the manifestation of a poor relationship and a power struggle. OP needs to recognize it for what it is. I would recommend she and her DH get themselves to a counselor to discuss it because it's gotten so ugly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Now it comes out! Your issue is really that you don’t like the dynamic between your ILs, their attitudes and having to share your kitchen. Yeah, I’m sure I’d be annoyed by some of their attitudes but the meals are a non-issue. They’re trying to work with you by bringing their own food. Grow the fuck up or start ordering out!


Unless they have health reasons, it is extremely rude to bring food to someone else's house. A lot more is going on. Some people like to show control through food. I am willing to bet your MIL or FIL or both are heavy.

But which is more rude - a guest bringing their own food/cooking or a host who insists on providing food she knows a guest doesn't like? Why doesn't OP (or OP's DH) learn how to cook what her FIL likes? I'm sure her MIL would be happy to pass on knowledge of their family food traditions.

And if you have 5 guests that all like different things, what then, cook 5 different dinners? FIL needs to suck it up and be flexible when visiting.

Puh-lease. It's not 5 different guests. The ILs have provided a solution to the problem. If OP doesn't like it, she needs to provide a different one other than FIL just sucking it up. Talk about rude and controlling! Eat my food or you get nothing! She should be ashamed of herself. I feel sorry for her DH!