Anonymous
Post 03/23/2014 12:36     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL

OP, I know how you feel. MIL pushes my buttons. Ignore the nasty MILs on this board. I hope everything turned out well for you. Sometimes, if DH is used to being abused by his birth family or by MIL, DH will not stick up for himself, so you can not expect him to be able to stick up for you. It sucks, but its true. Sometimes we have to stick up for ourselves.

I believe your MIL is a bully, because I have a MIL who is a bully, also. A wolf in sheeps clothing!

You are not alone.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2014 19:50     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Anonymous wrote:

How very Jerry Springer Show of you. A screaming match with your MIL. Not good. Not good. I really hope that you don't have a creaming match with your DIL when the time comes.


Freudian slip, o judgmental one...

Anonymous
Post 03/17/2014 05:48     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Screaming and yelling. Really, OP. Not acceptable no matter who you are yelling at. It sound like you both need to grow up and you both need to apologize for behaving inappropriately.


+1. Wow. Even if she yelled at you first, you always have a choice and you can choose to act like a rational adult. What a way T behave in front of your children. You owe the kids an apology so that they understand that you know you were wrong to behave that way.


I hope you apologize to your kid for being a judgemental ass.


Not gonna do it. I'm sorry, but I would be mortified with myself if I got into a screaming match with my kids' grandmother in front of them. And yes, I would apologize to them because it is my job to model behavior and when I make mistakes, I have to be a good model and acknowledge that to them. Would you be okay with your kids getting into a shouting match with you over a disagreement? I wouldn't. Sure, it happens. But mature people acknowledge their mistakes when they've calmed down. If I expect to be a good teacher for my kids, I have to walk the walk - including and especially when I have screwed up.


Not sure where the assumptions are coming from that OP doesnt feel bad. She posted a vent. A vent is a vent. Ii is not a comprehensive detailed account taking of any and all flaws in the entire process by all individuals involved.

OP doesnt say any of this was OK, just that it happened.

Its the assumptions that are confusing me here.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2014 23:52     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Screaming and yelling. Really, OP. Not acceptable no matter who you are yelling at. It sound like you both need to grow up and you both need to apologize for behaving inappropriately.


+1. Wow. Even if she yelled at you first, you always have a choice and you can choose to act like a rational adult. What a way T behave in front of your children. You owe the kids an apology so that they understand that you know you were wrong to behave that way.


I hope you apologize to your kid for being a judgemental ass.


Not gonna do it. I'm sorry, but I would be mortified with myself if I got into a screaming match with my kids' grandmother in front of them. And yes, I would apologize to them because it is my job to model behavior and when I make mistakes, I have to be a good model and acknowledge that to them. Would you be okay with your kids getting into a shouting match with you over a disagreement? I wouldn't. Sure, it happens. But mature people acknowledge their mistakes when they've calmed down. If I expect to be a good teacher for my kids, I have to walk the walk - including and especially when I have screwed up.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2014 22:38     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Screaming and yelling. Really, OP. Not acceptable no matter who you are yelling at. It sound like you both need to grow up and you both need to apologize for behaving inappropriately.


+1. Wow. Even if she yelled at you first, you always have a choice and you can choose to act like a rational adult. What a way T behave in front of your children. You owe the kids an apology so that they understand that you know you were wrong to behave that way.


I hope you apologize to your kid for being a judgemental ass.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2014 22:37     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Anonymous wrote:You give no details so we can't determine who's wrong[/quote

Actually, OP said she has been bullied by MIL. Somehow everyone is ignoring the content of her post, except for the fact that she yelled.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2014 22:33     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Im really wondering what universe some of you live in where empirical statements like yelling is "never" ok constitutes some kind of elevated position on the matter. This is absurd. Yelling is a reaction, one of many kinds of reactions that people have, to strong emotions. It is not uncommon for escalations to occur. Just because its not "ok" behavior under ideal circumstances does not mean that the situation leading to it is not worth addressing.

Had OP not yelled, the offending behavior would not be any different. Noone so far has really cared what the offending behavior even was.

In general, its obviously better to keep emotions under control and communications civil. But to pretend that OP can be invalidated because she yelled is just silly.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2014 10:42     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Anonymous wrote:Screaming and yelling. Really, OP. Not acceptable no matter who you are yelling at. It sound like you both need to grow up and you both need to apologize for behaving inappropriately.


+1. Wow. Even if she yelled at you first, you always have a choice and you can choose to act like a rational adult. What a way T behave in front of your children. You owe the kids an apology so that they understand that you know you were wrong to behave that way.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2014 10:32     Subject: Just had horrible screaming match with MIL
Anonymous wrote:Maybe DH isn't "on board" or "sticking up or" DW because she is in the wrong.


I had the same thought. Plus the unwillingness to spell out the nature of the dispute beyond vague health threats.