Anonymous wrote:Op, I an pretty smart but have such severe learning disabilities that when you merge the two together I come across as dumb, basically. Send her away to a state school. She will fail out, but will learn a ton about herself and her abilities compared to other kids.

I was much more successful at work than at school. Even with that, I still have a hard time at work and get fired from jobs for being too stupid to understand things sometimes that are a job requirement. Even into my 30's I still sometimes called my parents hysterically crying because I couldn't understand what my boss said to do. She could maybe be a bartender, a receptionist, a bookkeeper, etc. after she fails out of college, tell her she can work, go to school, or do a combo of both but she needs to be productive 40 hours a week. I took five years to get an associates degree from comm college and am an exec asst.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do realize that the vast majority of college graduates these days start out at a 50k or lower salary? You're sounding really out of touch by your surprise that "only" 50k is enough to support oneself as a young adult. Many young adults in this area have roommates for the first few years after graduation and thus live can live plenty well on 50k.

Anonymous wrote:

OP - While you started out going into great detail about your daughter's low intelligence ratings and you do mention ADD, in looking at the posts quickly it was sometime before you mentioned that she has been dealing with a very serious condition with numerous medications. Does she have rheumatoid arthritis or something similar because her physical health in many ways will present limitations which must be recognized in her future ability to work as well as kind of work to be done.

I would second looking at the local community college to see what is offered as she could even take a summer school class there for general interest to see if this might be a good first setting for her to start out on college and post high education or training. All the community colleges in Virginia have excellent transfer agreements with all the instate universities. I just wonder if with her low aspect of general intelligence and the complexity of the physical condition she deals with if she may not well need a couple of more years of direct home support and a gradual transitioning to her taking care of her health care needs - as well as the aspect of support to just learn to function beyond the home and on the college campus.

And by the way having two daughters in the top 10 all the way through a third who was at the bottom of her class due to a disability, I can tell you that one in the "best and brightest" category can also have real challenges that can bring a parent to their knees. Try pulling out of college two times and finishing Summa Cum Laude and then 2.5 strong years in a graduate double masters program and wanting to do so again......Do not be so cavalier as to think that your sons just because of a high intelligence quota may not face challenges and MAY NOT have some skills to learn in daily living that your daughter may already have mastered or never face due to her own nature.

Don't sell her future short, but do some research on what is out there. Remember there is no timetable to complete college or a career training program. Volunteer work while in high school in a couple of different setting may also help her widen her horizons and hone some skills.

Anonymous wrote:OP what is her IQ?

Anonymous wrote:She can always work at Hooters

Anonymous wrote:While I do think the op is open minded and reasonable, this whole post is so bizarre. Not everybody's smart. In my family, my mom is not that bright but hard working and did well in school; worked as a nurse her whole life. My dad is smart but joined the military and didn't finish college until I was also in college. I and my middle brother are more academic and took what OP is considering the expected route through college and grad school while my older brother went to cooking school, floated around for a bit, joined the military and ended up in private security and my younger sister did arts college and works for a designer. There are so many different paths in life! Even 15 yrs ago, when I was graduating high school, we weren't expected to know everything we wanted out of life. I think being responsible for oneself is the motivator many kids are missing.

Anonymous wrote:OP, how much is this disease going to affect her adult life? Is this something she is going to grow out of? Will she be able to hold down a full time job with frequent hospitalizations? Might she be a person who is on long term disability? Can she manage going away to college without you to help navigate her health issues? Sorry for the barrage of questions, but what is she going to do about her health?

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you enroll your daughter in a private school, even one for special needs kids? It might be usefeul, as you and she think about college, to see how she manages high school. Unless her illness just makes it impossible I think it might really help her get a betetr sense of what she wants to do.