Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother intends to will her money to my daughter. She has 3 other great-grandkids. I'm hoping that this doesn't cause issues for them. My grandmother said this is because my daughter is the one who comes to see her and most looks forward to spending time with her. FYI, my mom and I are the ones bringing her by. I'm touched that she really wants to do this, but I'm hoping it doesn't cause a strain for my daughter and her cousins in the future. It's not their fault that their parents only bring them around on major holidays.

Of course it will.

It absolutely will. Be prepared for it to ruin at least some of those relationships. If it really bothers you and your daughter, make plans to divide it equally--once it's your daughter's money, she can do whatever she wants with it.

+1

If the PP really feels that badly about it, PP can arrange to split the money 4 ways.

PP is not going to split anything. She has in fact worked on getting this deal.

DD and I's potential inheritance went to the local RCC instead. I guess it worked out well for them since that diocese had to settle a pedophile priest lawsuit. Oh well, c'est la vie....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother intends to will her money to my daughter. She has 3 other great-grandkids. I'm hoping that this doesn't cause issues for them. My grandmother said this is because my daughter is the one who comes to see her and most looks forward to spending time with her. FYI, my mom and I are the ones bringing her by. I'm touched that she really wants to do this, but I'm hoping it doesn't cause a strain for my daughter and her cousins in the future. It's not their fault that their parents only bring them around on major holidays.

Of course it will.

It absolutely will. Be prepared for it to ruin at least some of those relationships. If it really bothers you and your daughter, make plans to divide it equally--once it's your daughter's money, she can do whatever she wants with it.

+1

If the PP really feels that badly about it, PP can arrange to split the money 4 ways.

No she can't. If grandma leaves her money to great grandchild, the child's mother can NOT divide it in 4 ways and give 3/4 away! Not even if she is the administrator. No court would allow that. Now, once her daughter turns 18 (or whatever age great grandma stipulate for her to have access to the money), she can donate the money, although I doubt she would.

This happened to my brother in law. My newphew was left with almost $200k and my brother in law got nothing from his parents. He is very, very bitter about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother intends to will her money to my daughter. She has 3 other great-grandkids. I'm hoping that this doesn't cause issues for them. My grandmother said this is because my daughter is the one who comes to see her and most looks forward to spending time with her. FYI, my mom and I are the ones bringing her by. I'm touched that she really wants to do this, but I'm hoping it doesn't cause a strain for my daughter and her cousins in the future. It's not their fault that their parents only bring them around on major holidays.

Of course it will.

It absolutely will. Be prepared for it to ruin at least some of those relationships. If it really bothers you and your daughter, make plans to divide it equally--once it's your daughter's money, she can do whatever she wants with it.

+1

If the PP really feels that badly about it, PP can arrange to split the money 4 ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother intends to will her money to my daughter. She has 3 other great-grandkids. I'm hoping that this doesn't cause issues for them. My grandmother said this is because my daughter is the one who comes to see her and most looks forward to spending time with her. FYI, my mom and I are the ones bringing her by. I'm touched that she really wants to do this, but I'm hoping it doesn't cause a strain for my daughter and her cousins in the future. It's not their fault that their parents only bring them around on major holidays.

Of course it will.

It absolutely will. Be prepared for it to ruin at least some of those relationships. If it really bothers you and your daughter, make plans to divide it equally--once it's your daughter's money, she can do whatever she wants with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your mother doesn't want your husband to get his hands on her money or benefit from it after she is gone.

I can see how this would happen.

+1. Its this simple. Has nothing to do with you and your mom's relationship.

She doesn't want your husband to get it.

So the solution is to throw out the baby with the bathwater?
Inheritance does not become marital property, so these would become only OP's assets, not her DH's.

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother intends to will her money to my daughter. She has 3 other great-grandkids. I'm hoping that this doesn't cause issues for them. My grandmother said this is because my daughter is the one who comes to see her and most looks forward to spending time with her. FYI, my mom and I are the ones bringing her by. I'm touched that she really wants to do this, but I'm hoping it doesn't cause a strain for my daughter and her cousins in the future. It's not their fault that their parents only bring them around on major holidays.

Of course it will.

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I come from a country where by law you have to will the bulk of your estate to your next of kin.

With that bias, I would absolutely feel snubbed and hurt if I were in your shoes!

Accept you feel ambivalent towards your mother in order to move on, which will allow you to propose...
a trust for the grandchildren. VERY important, so that they avoid blowing through the money before they realize how much hard work it will take to earn the same amount.

Do not let up on your mother about this. Say:
"If you do not want to will it to me personally (so that my husband cannot lay his hands on it), then do the right thing and will it RESPONSIBLY to the grandkids, via a trust, and appoint certain administrators (hopefully me!)."

+1, and it's mind-boggling to me that a parent would cut someone out of the will (save for criminal/ neglectful reasons).
Yeah, as PPs said - her money, her choice - but that doesn't mean I wouldn't feel hurt. Your feelings are valid, OP. At least your children and heirs and not her pets or some con leeches.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Her money her choice. I think its nice she is leaving it to YOUR children which enables them an easier life. My parents left 1.8 million dollars to a University, leaving my siblings all with 10 grand each. I loved my parents and really respect their choice.

I would be thrilled if my parents left their money to my children. Instead, they've spent most of it on charities, some legitimate and some of dubious quality.

My grandfather left all money and property to me. His will stated it was not because he loved his children or other grand children less, he believed I would preserve the family farm and make the best choices for it. Ironically, my uncle lives and cares for it.

Anonymous wrote:Can't stand my DIL, who has been cruel to me for no apparent reason. My estate is divided into 3 equal parts - 1 part to my favorite charities, 1 part each to my son and daughter.

They can duke it out after I'm gone, but it really burns me that my bitchy DIL will benefit from my death.

Any suggestions?

No suggestions. But if it helps, she is probably counting down the days until you die.

Anonymous wrote:I'd be hurt because of the emotional aspect. But also do not expect inheritance. It's complex, but these things always are.

+1

OP, how old is your mother and is she in good health? The reason I ask is because, though I agree with the suggestion of putting the money into a trust for college if she was handing down the money today, if she isn't planning to give them the money until she dies, they may be well out of college by that point. My grandmother died a few years ago when I was 32 and I was the youngest of the four grandkids--my cousin was in his 40s. So a stipulation that it be used for education would not have helped us, unless that was transferrable to our kids.

I would be upset if I were you because it sounds like your mother is trying to make a point about your husband by punishing you, which is just immature. But, at least it will go to your kids. Teach the two younger ones financial responsibility and they will make the right choice with the money. That part, you can control.

Anonymous wrote:I'd be bummed but it is her money. I would cut her out of your life and see if she changes her mind.

really? you sound horrible. "give me your money or i want nothing to do with you."