Anonymous
Post 12/06/2013 21:34     Subject: DW dumped neighbors trash on their lawn. Now what do I have to do?

OP,

What did the neighbors say???

If the neighbors are continually irritating, and the trash they put in your recyclables was not actually recyclable or properly separated (don't know what the regulations where where you are), than I totally understand the temptation to dump everything in their yard!

However, for all you know, one of the guests could have mistaken the bin for their hosts', or something similar, so not wise to react instinctively without thinking it through.

You could ring their doorbell, ask if they put the trash in your bin, explain that it was not separated properly etc and ask that it not happen again. Then DW has to apologize for dumping it all on their lawn in a fit of rage. YOU must not apologize.

Or... you can hide and not say anything, and leave the neighbors will infer all this information.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2013 20:41     Subject: DW dumped neighbors trash on their lawn. Now what do I have to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So, our neighbors next door had a large party for Thanksgiving. They are an immigrant Hispanic family, and perhaps for this reason alone my DW does not get along with them. In any case, I am a go along to get along kind of guy. In any case, DW tells me this morning she takes out the trash to the curb for pickup, takes my DD to school and when she returns finds that the neighbors have dumped their trash - pizza boxes, beer bottles, etc. - into our recyclables bin. So, DW proceeds to take the trash out and dump it on the neighbors lawn. So, the neighbors were in the wrong to put their trash in our bins - and I honestly did not have a chance to talk to them about it since it all occurred after I departed for work - but I feel it was equally wrong for my DW to react the way she did. So, now I have to come home and rather than talk with neighbors who might otherwise be reasonable and open I will have to deal with pissed off people who feel that my DW treated them poorly. Am in the wrong in this?

No you are not wrong. From the way you described your wife she has race issues? Hopefully it was there trash.
In any instance you now need to back up your wife. At least in public. In private you need to get her to understand how wrong this was and how that jeopardizes your relationship with people who will be there a long time... He needs to know it's not ok to endanger the safety and peace of your communal home. It's just not ok.


Why does he have to bsck up his wife if she is behaving like an evil bitch. Do you "stand by your man" Even when he is wrong?


You can't have anybody come between you and your spouse. Mind you I posted before I saw the rest of the story this marriage is pretty much over. But for people who want to be together watch Funny Games. The mistake was when he didn't believe his wife. This happens over and over again. Most times they don't need in torture and murder. But it will eat a relationship.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2013 20:38     Subject: DW dumped neighbors trash on their lawn. Now what do I have to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you wife was in the right. I would have done the same. I bet they won't pull that ish again. Had it of been me, I would have dumped it right in front of their front door. You sound like a really annoying DH.


Ditto. This is what gave it away - OP says when he has spoken with them in the past, they are reasonable. In other words, they do stuff they should not.

OP mentioning their race makes me wonder if he's giving the neighbors extra leeway because they aren't white. He should not. Equal is equal.

Lastly, as one PP said you pay for trash and recycling. If they had too much, put it in an outdoor trash bag next to the cans. You don't use you neighbor's bins



Ok ... Even if this is true, on what planet is it ok to dump trash on your neighbor's lawn? Do you really think that is a good solution? Is that what you want your kids to learn?


When you are dealing with people who think it's OK to place their trash in your bin, you're dealing with people with boundary issues. Sounds like OP has had a run-in with these neighbors before, as OP said the neighbors were reasonable when spoken-to. This reinforces my thought that they have boundary issues.

So there IS no reasonable solution in these types of situations because the other people aren't being reasonable to begin with. What your kids learn is that you are not a constant pushover when people cross the line.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2013 20:35     Subject: DW dumped neighbors trash on their lawn. Now what do I have to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you wife was in the right. I would have done the same. I bet they won't pull that ish again. Had it of been me, I would have dumped it right in front of their front door. You sound like a really annoying DH.


Ditto. This is what gave it away - OP says when he has spoken with them in the past, they are reasonable. In other words, they do stuff they should not.

OP mentioning their race makes me wonder if he's giving the neighbors extra leeway because they aren't white. He should not. Equal is equal.
Lastly, as one PP said you pay for trash and recycling. If they had too much, put it in an outdoor trash bag next to the cans. You don't use you neighbor's bins



That's what you took from this? Really?

<facepalm>


Indeed! Behavior, not race is what's important here, unless race plays into it for the OP.