Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a male virgin in my mid 30s, for a variety of reasons. But theres no way in hell id tell a date that.

Are you scared that you will be found wanting in bed if you have sex? Or, would you resort to going to a professional just so you can say that you are not a virgin?

Ive had issues staying hard, and its embarrassing. I have to fix that problem first. And then theres the issue of getting a woman im attracted to to have sex with me, which im probably able to do, but id rather do it in a relationship.

Anonymous wrote:Im a male virgin in my mid 30s, for a variety of reasons. But theres no way in hell id tell a date that.

Are you scared that you will be found wanting in bed if you have sex? Or, would you resort to going to a professional just so you can say that you are not a virgin?

Im a male virgin in my mid 30s, for a variety of reasons. But theres no way in hell id tell a date that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bottomline - you date people you are attracted to. And if they want to date you, they also are attracted to you.

So eventually, sex will follow and virginity will be a moot point. And you will have more sex and find pleasure.

I am not understanding the big deal? Unless the question is - I am dating a late 30s virgin who does not eventually want to have sex?

I think the point made by some PPs was that virginity and/or absence of romantic experience at late 30s (as opposed to, say, early 20s) were likely symptoms of deeper emotional issues.

This forum is all about deeper emotional issues - regardless of the amount of sexual experience?

Deeper emotional issues that would make many people inclined to stay away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bottomline - you date people you are attracted to. And if they want to date you, they also are attracted to you.

So eventually, sex will follow and virginity will be a moot point. And you will have more sex and find pleasure.

I am not understanding the big deal? Unless the question is - I am dating a late 30s virgin who does not eventually want to have sex?

I think the point made by some PPs was that virginity and/or absence of romantic experience at late 30s (as opposed to, say, early 20s) were likely symptoms of deeper emotional issues.

This forum is all about deeper emotional issues - regardless of the amount of sexual experience?

Anonymous wrote:Bottomline - you date people you are attracted to. And if they want to date you, they also are attracted to you.

So eventually, sex will follow and virginity will be a moot point. And you will have more sex and find pleasure.

I am not understanding the big deal? Unless the question is - I am dating a late 30s virgin who does not eventually want to have sex?

I think the point made by some PPs was that virginity and/or absence of romantic experience at late 30s (as opposed to, say, early 20s) were likely symptoms of deeper emotional issues.

A few weeks ago there was a thread about a 40 year old virgin without much romatic experience going out with a married man. There was some consensus that the woman (and man and whole situation) had a lot of issues/potential problems. Several posters made a convincing case that the woman's virginity/lack of relationship experience was a contributing factor to the complications.

Bottomline - you date people you are attracted to. And if they want to date you, they also are attracted to you.

So eventually, sex will follow and virginity will be a moot point. And you will have more sex and find pleasure.

I am not understanding the big deal? Unless the question is - I am dating a late 30s virgin who does not eventually want to have sex?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes -- depending on the guy. My brother, a Physicist, was in this boat. He did meet a wonderful woman (who had been married before and could appreciate all that he had to offer). She took the lead in the relationship. They have been married 15 years, two kids, and are very happy. Physicists are usually late bloomers...if they ever really bloom at all.

I agree. Some people are just late bloomers and all it takes is for the other person to take the lead in the relationship for a while.

+1.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most don't use condoms in a relationship for to long. Unless your super worried about pregnancy even with being on bc. I'd say no more then 2 months.

So wouldn't you want to know your partner's sexual history if you're only 2 months into it and want to drop the condoms?

To drop condoms - I would need medical proof - from both of us. And a lot of trust that this is indeed monogamous relationship. I am not willing to even endure warts because of sex.

Are you married?

Yes, I am. And I have seen plenty of older women catch stuff from unprotected sex from men they met from match.com and other online dating sites. And that was mainly because these women had had their tubes tied and so were used to not using condoms with the husbands (before divorce)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most don't use condoms in a relationship for to long. Unless your super worried about pregnancy even with being on bc. I'd say no more then 2 months.

So wouldn't you want to know your partner's sexual history if you're only 2 months into it and want to drop the condoms?

To drop condoms - I would need medical proof - from both of us. And a lot of trust that this is indeed monogamous relationship. I am not willing to even endure warts because of sex.

Are you married?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most don't use condoms in a relationship for to long. Unless your super worried about pregnancy even with being on bc. I'd say no more then 2 months.

So wouldn't you want to know your partner's sexual history if you're only 2 months into it and want to drop the condoms?

To drop condoms - I would need medical proof - from both of us. And a lot of trust that this is indeed monogamous relationship. I am not willing to even endure warts because of sex.

Anonymous wrote:Most don't use condoms in a relationship for to long. Unless your super worried about pregnancy even with being on bc. I'd say no more then 2 months.

So wouldn't you want to know your partner's sexual history if you're only 2 months into it and want to drop the condoms?

Most don't use condoms in a relationship for to long. Unless your super worried about pregnancy even with being on bc. I'd say no more then 2 months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure I would ever ask. WTF.

You would sleep with someone without knowing their sexual history?

I would never ask. I would make sure condoms are used, but I would never ask. What is the point? No body is going to admit that they have slept indiscriminately anyways.

And to ask "Are you a virgin or have you had sex before?" - creepy, vulgar and mood killer!

Oh. I wanted to be able to drop the condoms with a committed partner. How long into the relationship would you use condoms?