Damn. I'm 46. No way in hell I want a 62 year old man.

I have a seriously, buff, muscular and active 45 year old husband of 17 years.

He can coach and play with our boys and challenge them in the sporting field. We both are very HHIs--now semi-retired. The sperm was young and not at high risk at 32.

Nah. No old dudes. That's for women that can't land a good young one.

My husband is 14 years older than me- I'm 34 and he'll be 48 in the fall. We met when I was 23 and have been together since ... and I'd say it's working just fine, 11 years in. We have two elementary aged kids (7 and 5) and life is good. We're both fit and active, have good paying jobs, and I certainly don't "depend" on him anymore than any other married couple. We do save extra than some of my mid-30s couple friends and have more life insurance, because we face the reality that we have small kids and he's an older parent. We also understand that there's a good chance that I will be caring for him if he gets sick in the next few decades, even while I'm still relatively "young". And to be honest, I'd rather care for him than not be with him. And he feels the same - a mother on our block is losing her fight with breast cancer in her 30s, so we know we aren't promised tomorrow. People can be so judgmental sometimes. Let others bear their own burdens, ya know? No one has to remind me that my husband is probably going to die way before me (or if he doesn't that I'll be going before my time).

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are 16 years apart and it has turned into a nightmare. He is arrogant, dismissive, cruel, condescending ... he is ALWAYS right and I am ALWAYS being childish or irrational. It's ridiculous.

+1. I know a man who is about to marry someone 13 yrs younger, and he is already like this. That is actually why he likes the young woman - because "she admits he knows more about life than she does". I'm not making that up. I feel sorry for the young woman but she either doesn't see it yet or likes the money/security.

My husband and I are 16 years apart and it has turned into a nightmare. He is arrogant, dismissive, cruel, condescending ... he is ALWAYS right and I am ALWAYS being childish or irrational. It's ridiculous.

I have a friend who is about to get married for the fourth time to someone who is 16 or 17 years younger than he is (he is early 50's). I care about this friend and respect him in other areas, but they are both just embarrassing themselves.

I can't imagine being an older man's fourth wife. I think she is about 8-10 years older than his oldest child, who just graduated from medical school, is married, and would like to have children soon. Probably at the same time that his new wife will want to have a child.

I fell in love with a man 17 years older when I was 36. I ended it because he had grown kids and did not want more. I had no kids yet and wanted to try for at least one. So, the age difference itself is not the issue, but stages in life are. I married someone else and had my kids at 39 and 41.

Anonymous wrote:More anecdotal evidence: my dad remarried a 39yo when he was 55 and they've been together 20+ years. Hmmm...

+1 my mom started feeling the 11 year difference with my stepdad when she was 50 and he was 61.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 56 year old father is dating a 32 year old. And she makes more money than him. But he acts like he's a teenager so I guess it works out for them.

My dad married someone that was almost 18 years younger. It didn't work once he was in his 70's with health problems. She was his nurse maid. People are in denial that it's too large of a age difference. It's not fair to your kids and an embarrassment if they are close in age.

Yes, it's definitely embarrassing. Especially since my sister is actually older than his gf. We know it won't last though

I would not marry someone 16 years older. No desire to be a nurse or a purse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that the younger woman in this type of relationship appreciates the comfort, security, and stability that a life with an established, older man provides? In a way it does fast-forward your life as you leap over the lean student years to the established status ones.

I for one really appreciate that I never had to go through the "my husband is a 27 year old bonehead" stage a lot of my friends go through, with husbands who still drink too much every weekend and stay up all night playing video games with the guys on weekends. And while we are not wealthy and I didn't marry for money, we are definitely comfortable and I can't say I miss having to go through the lean bullshit years of living in crappy apartments and living off Campbell's soup.

I actually think that living through the lean years together can be bonding and character-building.

Not really. Most those kids are divorced by 35.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the exception but I am 46 and dating a 65 year old man, a very young acting/looking active amazing man. I have yet to meet any 40 something years old who can hold a candle to him and the sex is off the charts. Age is nothing more than a number.

You expect to have an active sex life when you are 55 and he is 74??

LOL a friend of a friend is 75. He travels a lot and can't get enough of young ladies all over the world, talks about them constantly, takes photos and such. Unfortunately, he's still married to his old hag. I bet he'd have a mighty active life with someone younger

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, men are gross: they look to remarry someone who can be their daughter. Sure.

It's not gross; it's natural. Fertility is implicitly attractive, and human males remain fertile much longer than females. There is no point in getting pissed at simple facts of life, lady.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is 15 years older than my stepdad, and they just celebrated their 25th anniversary. Just a random little share there.

Another share - my good friend is married to a man 15 years older, and she likes the money but him not so much. Regularly complains of life stage differences and lack of things and friends in common. They just had a baby and now she is 100% into that and they barely hang out, so I wonder how things will go in the future for them.

I am married to a man 2 years older than me, and when I complain that we don't have enough money he likes to tell me that I should have married a guy about 15 years older. But my DH is hot and we have a lot of fun together.

I am rambling really, but my conclusion is that the perfect thing is actually to find a guy your own age with a trust fund.

the perfect thing is to make your own money, and have your pick of men

No way! Then there won't be time for me to relax, shop, read, write, socialize, groom etc. etc. It would be WAY better to live on someone else's dime. Pff.

You're both wrong. The perfect solution is for you to have YOUR OWN trust fund and then have your pick of men Ah, to dream.

Hehe, touche!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that the younger woman in this type of relationship appreciates the comfort, security, and stability that a life with an established, older man provides? In a way it does fast-forward your life as you leap over the lean student years to the established status ones.

I for one really appreciate that I never had to go through the "my husband is a 27 year old bonehead" stage a lot of my friends go through, with husbands who still drink too much every weekend and stay up all night playing video games with the guys on weekends. And while we are not wealthy and I didn't marry for money, we are definitely comfortable and I can't say I miss having to go through the lean bullshit years of living in crappy apartments and living off Campbell's soup.

I actually think that living through the lean years together can be bonding and character-building.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is 15 years older than my stepdad, and they just celebrated their 25th anniversary. Just a random little share there.

Another share - my good friend is married to a man 15 years older, and she likes the money but him not so much. Regularly complains of life stage differences and lack of things and friends in common. They just had a baby and now she is 100% into that and they barely hang out, so I wonder how things will go in the future for them.

I am married to a man 2 years older than me, and when I complain that we don't have enough money he likes to tell me that I should have married a guy about 15 years older. But my DH is hot and we have a lot of fun together.

I am rambling really, but my conclusion is that the perfect thing is actually to find a guy your own age with a trust fund.

the perfect thing is to make your own money, and have your pick of men

No way! Then there won't be time for me to relax, shop, read, write, socialize, groom etc. etc. It would be WAY better to live on someone else's dime. Pff.

You're both wrong. The perfect solution is for you to have YOUR OWN trust fund and then have your pick of men Ah, to dream.