CindyBindy
Post 08/23/2013 19:17     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:
Tragedy visited many, many peoples in history. Jews do not have the monopoly on misery. There must be something unique about the Jewish people besides the trials they withstood. Plus I would hardly call the Holocaust something the Jews just shook off and carried on. It's a major piece of their narrative and a very lucrative niche.


Uh. I don't know if I would describe the Holocaust as "lucrative".

Going back to the original discussion of what Jews do right, I think everything has been said about Tiger Parenting, etc. But I think it's interesting to point out that a lot of Jewish families are motivated to educate their children for the sake of education - not for money. While there are families in other cultures like that too, I have always gotten the impression that the majority - not all - of immigrants emphasize education to their kids because of the future incomes it promises. Like, "be a doctor, be an engineer, be a lawyer - no, no, don't become a professor! Even if you get tenure you won't make any money!" And while plenty of Jewish families think that way too, I've also met a significant number of Jewish parents who earn working class incomes but have generations of college education behind them and absolutely expect that their kids will go to Brandeis or Amherst or whatever. They sneer at mercenary ambitions as anti-intellectual. I think that's a great attitude to have and I wish more college administrations would have that ethos. When universities are run like corporations, like they increasingly are now, you can really see how it affects the humanities departments.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 18:45     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting


I find this hard to believe that you're saying this. I know Jews in each of these cities and they're all wealthy, ambitious, and well-educated. Are you talking about Hebrew Christians or something?


Not the pp but the fact that you only know wealthy Jews says more about the circles in which you run than the fact that there aren't working class Jews. Growing up in Montgomery County, I had Jewish neighbors who were liquor store managers, plumbers, hair dressers and grocery store check out clerks. When I went to work in NYC following college I encountered lots of working class Jews including secretaries, waitresses, movers and and car service drivers.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 18:27     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:Why not leave Montgomery County sometime and get to know Jews in Philadelphia, or Baltimore, or Miami. Maybe you'll learn that not all Jewish families are wealthy, ambitious, or even well-educated.


I find this hard to believe that you're saying this. I know Jews in each of these cities and they're all wealthy, ambitious, and well-educated. Are you talking about Hebrew Christians or something?
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 17:59     Subject: Re:Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:Every Jewish friend of mine except two are single and I keep in touch with about 50 of them. From what I can see they stress their children should be doctors, lawyers, or go into business and don't consider any other fields successful so in the end they have kids who go into those well paying fields. If you're single and have a good job, you'll typically be wealthy.


Pity the son of a Jewish mother who is too stupid for these options.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 17:30     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I read "The blessing of a skinned knee". The author, a Jewish psychotherapist, has 2 daughters and they didn't seem to do anything extraordinary at home - they went to school, playdates, had one music lesson a week and some tutoring.


True, but when you are surrounded by achievers, achieving becomes the norm, not an exception or something praise worthy. Jews are extremely resilient people who do not make excuses for failure. Heck 6+Million were exterminated, wiping out whole families and they carry on, hardly looking back. Never in history will you see a more beaten down people who just pick them selves back up, dust off, and carry on with success.

Same reason a WASP family would not praise their kid for graduating high school. It is a complete expectation. Most Jews just take it up a notch. We also have tight communities. Jews always help Jews first. My experience in business is that being Jewish has given me the ability to cut in line, just due to my last name.

Tragedy visited many, many peoples in history. Jews do not have the monopoly on misery. There must be something unique about the Jewish people besides the trials they withstood. Plus I would hardly call the Holocaust something the Jews just shook off and carried on. It's a major piece of their narrative and a very lucrative niche.


Huh? Where do I sign up for my piece of the pie?
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 17:05     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Why not leave Montgomery County sometime and get to know Jews in Philadelphia, or Baltimore, or Miami. Maybe you'll learn that not all Jewish families are wealthy, ambitious, or even well-educated.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 16:15     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I read "The blessing of a skinned knee". The author, a Jewish psychotherapist, has 2 daughters and they didn't seem to do anything extraordinary at home - they went to school, playdates, had one music lesson a week and some tutoring.


True, but when you are surrounded by achievers, achieving becomes the norm, not an exception or something praise worthy. Jews are extremely resilient people who do not make excuses for failure. Heck 6+Million were exterminated, wiping out whole families and they carry on, hardly looking back. Never in history will you see a more beaten down people who just pick them selves back up, dust off, and carry on with success.

Same reason a WASP family would not praise their kid for graduating high school. It is a complete expectation. Most Jews just take it up a notch. We also have tight communities. Jews always help Jews first. My experience in business is that being Jewish has given me the ability to cut in line, just due to my last name.

Tragedy visited many, many peoples in history. Jews do not have the monopoly on misery. There must be something unique about the Jewish people besides the trials they withstood. Plus I would hardly call the Holocaust something the Jews just shook off and carried on. It's a major piece of their narrative and a very lucrative niche.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 15:08     Subject: Re:Secret of Jewish parenting
I once worked with a Jew. We were pretty close, so I felt comfortable asking him similar questions OP posed. His response was, "What are you talking about? You know I'm a Jew, and I work and make similar salary as you." D'oh! We both worked for government.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 14:32     Subject: Re:Secret of Jewish parenting
Besides excelling as attorneys, doctors, bankers/business owners, Jews also created Hollywood and ran old Broadway. They're groomed to learn and achieve. Most Jewish mothers that I've known nourish their children with education as if it's a matter of life and death.

It doesn't seem to be a culture where an outlier would survive. It seems that you would have to condition your child early before they go astray, i.e., choose their friends and activities using foresight instead of allowing them freedom to choose.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 13:38     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Correct, PP, I am absolutely saying that Tiger Parents abound in Jewish communities as well as other groups. I am a Eurasian Tiger parent


OK, again, we're talking about JEWISH parents, not Chinese or Indian. I don't think Jews are Tiger Parents.


No, even though Jewish parents ride their kids to succeed and excel and push for the doctor, lawyer, "only a real degree that will ensure job security" degree paths, that title is reserved for those only of Asian (East or South) descent.



Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 13:25     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:My husband is Jewish, and I must say that his entire family is shiftless.


When did you discover they are a shiftless lot, while you were dating or after the first few months of marriage?
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 12:33     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
PP- the evidence of your intelligence is certainly overwhelming! Great arguments. You must have been a Supreme Court clerk!
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 12:21     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:There have been studies done that Jews have higher IQs than the general population. It may be a genetic trait just as characteristics such as height, eye color, disease-risk, etc. differ amongst various groups. Higher base cognitive scores coupled with cultural expectations may result in higher-achieving Jewish children


And yet 100 years ago the eugenicists (remember them?) were bemoaning the unstoppable influx of hordes of feeble-minded, degenerate, low-IQ, criminal Jews from Eastern Europe. Have you heard of the Immigration Act of 1924?

Genetic trait for high IQs among Jews, my Great Aunt Fanny.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 12:06     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
There have been studies done that Jews have higher IQs than the general population. It may be a genetic trait just as characteristics such as height, eye color, disease-risk, etc. differ amongst various groups. Higher base cognitive scores coupled with cultural expectations may result in higher-achieving Jewish children
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2013 12:05     Subject: Secret of Jewish parenting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:PP- I know MANY Jewish conservatives, myself included. Mostly very wealthy. See for example the hawks have been governing in Israel for how long? American Jews are mostly Democrats, BUT, many vote against their best interests when voting Democratic. That tendency to vote Dem can be traced back to the civil-rights era, which is ironic. I will agree with this thread that most Jewish people I know are high-achievers (law, finance,drs, etc.), prefer to associate with Jews, abd look out for ourselves first. To be honest, I at least view it as an us vs. them. This is NOT to say I dislike or have ANY prejudice against non-Jews. I believe we have to stick together bc at the end of the day, we are the only ones who look out for each other.


Look! Lots of different kinds of evidence that not all Jews are smart!


Except he's 100% correct