Anonymous wrote:There were some truly nasty comments on this thread.... and a few kind hearted ones. Lazy, saying fat people are all ugly, insisting we need to spend time and money on our appearance, like the man with moles. This is one of the things wrong with humans. It's one thing to be an ugly person because of your actions, but so what if someone has moles or is short or has hair you don't like. Who the hell do any of you think you are, saying everything can be fixed? Some of us don't have expendable income, work long hours, and spend time doing more meaningful things than putting on makeup for hours. I use my tiny bit of free time to peruse making art. My art is beautiful because my spirit is beautiful. My skin and hair and clothes are clean. I smell good. But I'm not pretty. My life has meaning, tho. Screw your only lazy women bs.

+1

You get it. Your parents did their job well. Not everyone is so fortunate.

I am ugly and my biggest problem is avoiding having photos taken of me with others. I always stick out as the ugly one, and I feel bad that I ruin the photos for others in it.

I have a big nose and a narrow face.

In my teens I had bad acne and the big nose and wore glasses. I was UGLY. No one wanted to associate with me.

I grew into my own in my early twenties.

Although by no means a stunner, its amazing what contacts, good hair and fitted clothes did for my self image and how other people perceived me. All of a sudden I had boys go crazy over me and I'd get free drinks and admissions into clubs.

I know both what its like to be pretty and ugly.

Being ugly or close to ugly has been helpful in really weeded out the shallow people. I was never bothered by annoying guys only to be dropped after one night. I didn't bother having shallow girl friends who only care about appearances. I never bothered wasting a lot of time trying to look better, because why bother.

Sure, it took a lot of high school angst to get over the reality of the situation, but overall I have done OK. And yes, I didn't have a ton of boyfriends, but I was in several relationships and am now happily married. My husband doesn't think I'm beautiful, but I really don't need him to, and he's definitely attracted to me. (I, on the other hand, did notice him because of his looks.)

And yes, I could probably still get a nose job, fix the overbite, and learn to do effective makeup, but honestly, I'm fine without these things.

One thing, though, is that I've never been bullied, and I think that's really helped. I'm not sure exactly why, but it's almost like people were a little bit afraid, because I can give the Look of Death that shuts people up. And I have realized that avoiding eye contact really brings out the worst in people, they can immediately tell that they can say something to you without repercussion. My advice to the other women who perceive themselves as ugly is to try to be more aggressive in terms of cutting off any potential comments before they are uttered. If you can't be the princess, at least be the witch.

I don't know any ugly women. As Coco Chanel said, there are no ugly women; just lazy women. IF you've fat, that can detract, but is fixable. A little make-up, good clothes, some time at the gym, and good hairstyle, and most people are between a 6 and an 8. Very few at either end of the bell curve.

Anonymous wrote:I was quite unattractive until my early thirties, when I had a nose job & lipo, got contacts, and began spending $700 every 4 months on Japanese hair straightening. I also began getting my hair colored (it would otherwise be gray). It turns out having glossy, blonde hair is a lot more appealing than having hugely thick & frizzy (think Roseanna Roseannadanna) gray hair. Anyway, I am probably above average now, and that's fine with me.

Same. Until my early 30s I was short and fat and had short curly hair I no idea how to manage and I body I couldn't dress. I've been through all the circumstance the "ugly" women here mentioned. I too had no dates. Then I got a trainer, lost weight, gained muscle, grew my hair long, went to a stylist for my hair regularly (still do), learned how to dress etc. 100 percent turn around in my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am either invisible or bullied.

Once, a coworker actually said to someone else while the three of us were chatting something about how women like me (ugly) aren't the type to be asked to get married. As soon as it was out of her mouth she got embarrassed but still.

People always assume I don't want to be in a picture or they don't want me to be in their picture, so I wind up invited to play photographer a LOT.

I am physically touched very little.

This may just be shallow people, but sometimes people will pick one feature of mine and then fawn over it, always though it is followed by asking me for a favor. I don't know why it is assumed that ugly = too dumb to notice.

I'm not treated "like a lady." Doors are constantly dropped on me by people walking ahead. I can be the only person standing on the train, then an average to pretty woman boards and two men will jump to give up their seats for her.

Pretty women will do the humble-brag and then act like I'm so lucky to not have to worry about their problem of two great men being interested in me.

This almost made me cry. I feel so badly to hear this. Our society is ridiculous that we don't treat people well based on something so superficial. You do not deserve that.

Me too except for the "almost."

I am so sorry you have to endure this, OP.

I do not think anyone is "ugly". It's all attitude. And even then.

Signed,

Old person who does not feel at all invisible.

There were some truly nasty comments on this thread.... and a few kind hearted ones. Lazy, saying fat people are all ugly, insisting we need to spend time and money on our appearance, like the man with moles. This is one of the things wrong with humans. It's one thing to be an ugly person because of your actions, but so what if someone has moles or is short or has hair you don't like. Who the hell do any of you think you are, saying everything can be fixed? Some of us don't have expendable income, work long hours, and spend time doing more meaningful things than putting on makeup for hours. I use my tiny bit of free time to peruse making art. My art is beautiful because my spirit is beautiful. My skin and hair and clothes are clean. I smell good. But I'm not pretty. My life has meaning, tho. Screw your only lazy women bs.

Here's something for ugly women everywhere to be happy about -- when you're on the older side (50+), nobody looks at you. You're pretty much invisible. This is MUCH harder on those who've staked their sense of well-being and value on being beautiful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But what makes you think you are ugly? At what age do you look at yourself and admit/realize you are ugly and just accept it if there is such a thing?

If you have to ask, you really can't understand.

I insist that ugliness is rare and usually caused by some sort of condition or trauma.

Someone please show me an appallingly unattractive person who is healthy and not traumatized. I simply want to see what people are talking about. I'm no beauty myself, but some PPs made me feel very sad for them and the shitty people who apparently surround them!

+1

Most people are average or below average. Being judgmental certainly does not make you beautiful. It just makes you judgmental.

Anonymous wrote:When I think about all the people I encounter on any given day, far fewer than 1% would be in the category "unfixably ugly." People are much too harsh about this. Also, about the same percentage of people are truly physically beautiful. There are a LOT of people who think they are attractive and somehow that works for them, self-confidence (and all of the grooming, clothing, etc., that goes along with it) works, apparently.

+1

They surround themselves with people who want something from them - and therefor think themselves attractive. Big difference between that, and the small percentage (as you stated) who are genuinely beautiful, IRL.

Anonymous wrote:They get trolled on DCUM.

I think ugly women are actually the TROLLS on DCUM. Too much time on their hands, sadly.

There is an ugly guy at my work. Short, overweight, bald, with weird moles or something on his face. His whole appearance makes me put myself in check, because I instinctively fear I will contract a skin condition from him or something... Just a very unappealing male specimen as apposed to other guys in that department.

Even he, I'm convinced, could be helped. Weight loss, haircut, treatment for skin and scalp. (I don't know if he actually has a medical condition, or is just poor at personal hygiene.) Maybe remove a mole or two. He will never be very very attractive, but he could be much more palatable, pretty close to average. And it wouldn't take that much money, really.

When I think about all the people I encounter on any given day, far fewer than 1% would be in the category "unfixably ugly." People are much too harsh about this. Also, about the same percentage of people are truly physically beautiful. There are a LOT of people who think they are attractive and somehow that works for them, self-confidence (and all of the grooming, clothing, etc., that goes along with it) works, apparently.