Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 21:59     Subject: DH stole my money
Anonymous wrote:You all need to educate yourselves. Maybe only two posters have a clue about what constitues a marital estate and they are 19:01 and 18:18. From the date if your marriage to the date of your separation all earnings and income are marital property absent a premarital agreement specifying otherwise. Inheritances, gifts, and premarital property are separate property. This is regardless of how the property is titled. So, the choices you make regarding both spouses working outside the home or one working inside the home will bear upon both of you in divorce. If Virginia at least, if one party works inside the home his/her nonmonetary contributions are considered in dividing the marital estate upon divorce. The account OP describes is 100 percent marital property and if she is worried about a lack of savings then she needs to contribute to the marital estate.

Everyone needs to understand these concepts and stop acting as though money earned during the marriage is either his or hers or if a spouse stays home he/she is not entitled to a working spouse's earnings. Absent a pre-nip it is ALL marital.


True, but you have to go to court to get it. And many times when a divorce happens, one or both parties doesn't want to disclose or share. Each person in a marriage should have access to a pot of ready cash. But this OP is still a deluded brat.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 21:58     Subject: DH stole my money
Excuse me...18:01 and 19:18.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 21:57     Subject: DH stole my money
You all need to educate yourselves. Maybe only two posters have a clue about what constitues a marital estate and they are 19:01 and 18:18. From the date if your marriage to the date of your separation all earnings and income are marital property absent a premarital agreement specifying otherwise. Inheritances, gifts, and premarital property are separate property. This is regardless of how the property is titled. So, the choices you make regarding both spouses working outside the home or one working inside the home will bear upon both of you in divorce. If Virginia at least, if one party works inside the home his/her nonmonetary contributions are considered in dividing the marital estate upon divorce. The account OP describes is 100 percent marital property and if she is worried about a lack of savings then she needs to contribute to the marital estate.

Everyone needs to understand these concepts and stop acting as though money earned during the marriage is either his or hers or if a spouse stays home he/she is not entitled to a working spouse's earnings. Absent a pre-nip it is ALL marital.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 20:57     Subject: DH stole my money
OP, if you have enough money to squirrel away into a savings account, why aren't you putting that money into an IRA?
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 20:06     Subject: Re:DH stole my money
This post is made up. I am a SAHM and I take care of all household finances. A real SAHM would be writing the check for the mortgage and not yelling at DH for paying the bill.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:50     Subject: Re:DH stole my money
This post was written by somebody at work who hates their job and all SAHM.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:47     Subject: Re:DH stole my money
Anonymous wrote:This post is made up to make SAHM look bad.


This post doesn't make SAHM look bad. It makes this particular OP look like a twit or a troll. Take your pick.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:46     Subject: DH stole my money
Anonymous wrote:
I would have hidden the money better.

A girlfriend once told me that, if she could, she'd give me 10k (a lot of money in the 1980s) before I got married so I could always afford to leave when things got bad. Her mother was is a horrifically abusive relationship.

I had 30k liquid, just out of sight, when I got married. And, when I was divorce with two kids, that money made a whole lot of difference in terms of our experience adjusting to life without a partner.

Any woman to leave her future at the mercy of a shifting tide is a f&cking fool.

/quote]



I would have hidden the money better, also. It should have remained a secret that she's stockpiling it. I learned this lesson in hindsight after a bad divorce. Fortunately, I became a resourceful single mom with two kids. Never again will I allow myself to become totally dependent on another human being.

OP, learn how to keep your mouth shut and take better care of yourself, no, you don't want to be caught penniless. I agree you should get a part-time job, at least. Good luck to you.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:31     Subject: Re:DH stole my money
This post is made up to make SAHM look bad.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:18     Subject: DH stole my money
OP if you divorce the money you have saved up is a marital asset.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:17     Subject: DH stole my money
Anonymous wrote:
I would have hidden the money better.

A girlfriend once told me that, if she could, she'd give me 10k (a lot of money in the 1980s) before I got married so I could always afford to leave when things got bad. Her mother was is a horrifically abusive relationship.

I had 30k liquid, just out of sight, when I got married. And, when I was divorce with two kids, that money made a whole lot of difference in terms of our experience adjusting to life without a partner.

Any woman to leave her future at the mercy of a shifting tide is a f&cking fool.


I told my BFF something very similar. We met in HS and have seen each other through a lot. She is a SAHM and I am not. She once called me and asked what she was going to do... She had no money and no credit and they had been in counseling for about a year. I told her I would cosign her housing lease, cosign a CC, and wire her cash. We'd work through the emotional stuff once she got settled. She and her DH ended up reconciling but she knows that if she ever wants to leave I'll help her financially and emotionally.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:09     Subject: DH stole my money

I would have hidden the money better.

A girlfriend once told me that, if she could, she'd give me 10k (a lot of money in the 1980s) before I got married so I could always afford to leave when things got bad. Her mother was is a horrifically abusive relationship.

I had 30k liquid, just out of sight, when I got married. And, when I was divorce with two kids, that money made a whole lot of difference in terms of our experience adjusting to life without a partner.

Any woman to leave her future at the mercy of a shifting tide is a f&cking fool.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 19:01     Subject: DH stole my money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP-- what do you think the purpose of "your" account is?


Look, my father died when I was young leaving my mother, my siblings and I nearly destitute. So, I feel I need to have something locked away for just such an emergency! Who knows what can happen. DH could die tomorrow, run off with some other woman or just leave it he wants, and I would be left with nothing. Nothing! So, I need to have that rainy day fund. DH had his retirement. Where is mine?


Why isn't your husband contributing to a retirement account for you? But much, much, much more importantly, why the hell aren't you working if you're this worried about it? This is utterly insane. Go get a job, staying at home isn't working for you.


The retirement income, if a 401k, is effectively joint. In a divorce, it is split. In the event of death, it is inherited. Furthermore, spouse has to sign off on it if it goes to anything other than the spouse.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 17:52     Subject: DH stole my money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised at the judgment and vitriol on here. OP is not making money, but she is a sahm and that counts for something, though I know most of you refuse to believe that obviously.

I don't think it's bad at all that she has her own account of money she save up that was given. No, it shouldn't have come out of the household expenses budget, but is a sah parent supposed to ask his/her spouse for money like a child and not have any for themselves to hold on to?

And why should the money she saved up be used for her personal expenses when the husband has retirement and if he has personal expenses, he doesn't go through the retirement fund.

OP, you need to talk with your husband about having an actual retirement account and your own separate money for yourself that is not part of the household expenses.


There's so much wrong here it's not even worth replying to specifically.


Agree. OP is too stupid/stubborn/boring to take good advice.

This. OP is a royal PIA
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 17:24     Subject: DH stole my money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP-- what do you think the purpose of "your" account is?


Look, my father died when I was young leaving my mother, my siblings and I nearly destitute. So, I feel I need to have something locked away for just such an emergency! Who knows what can happen. DH could die tomorrow, run off with some other woman or just leave it he wants, and I would be left with nothing. Nothing! So, I need to have that rainy day fund. DH had his retirement. Where is mine?


Sounds like the Joan Crawford movie "Harriet Craig". Tee hee.



Yeah. I would be left with nothing, Nothing!