Anonymous wrote:30k in the medical field is cna pay----maybe. I know people who make more. Go work another job: it's easy to pick up extra hours in home health. Or at a nursing home----sucky work, but it's money.

And why does he want to be an NP? If he doesn't like to work, he won't like that either.

What does he do in the medical field that he only earns $30k/year? DH is a physician and even the secretaries make at least double that. I think the only people who make that little are the scrub techs who hand doctors instruments and orderlies. Even the cleaning people make more than 30k.

If your DH has 100k of debt, he must have some decent education. Tell him to get a new job within the medical field.

OP, I understand your BF's situation better than most. I have a lot of student loan debt and am not using my degree, for various reasons too complicated to describe here. Sometimes in life we make incorrect choices, and sometimes these wrong choices are very very expensive. I have considered defaulting, but I would really prefer not to for a lot of reasons. It will take me a very long time to pay off my loans, but I know I will get there eventually, even if I am 60 when I make that last payment (and I may well be).

But no way in HELL would I consider adding to that debt by going back for another expensive degree. I do intend to get another degree, but at community college/inexpensive state school, a class at a time, pay as I go. I would never take out another student loan and your BF shouldn't either, unless the new degree would increase his income by $80-100k.

At the same time, I think the people saying to dump him are too harsh. That is your decision of course. His debt will affect your life (although they cannot come after you even if you are married -- student debt is your own and is not imputed to your spouse). If you love him, and if he can acknowledge his mistakes and come up with a plan to move forward, you can get past this and go on to have a happy life.

30k in the medical field is cna pay----maybe. I know people who make more. Go work another job: it's easy to pick up extra hours in home health. Or at a nursing home----sucky work, but it's money.

And why does he want to be an NP? If he doesn't like to work, he won't like that either.

Anonymous wrote:Why in the world would he take out 100k in loans for a job in a field that pays only 30k? He needs to get a different job or an additional job. Do not marry him. If you want to have some sort of ceremony with friends and family that's fine but don't legally marry him without at least having a real plan on how to pay off his loans.

ITA! I would not want to be legally married to that debt.

How did he rack up $100k of debt?

OP, my husband has about $100k in loans left, and we also are paying down some credit card debt from a period of underemployment.

Never in our craziest dreams did it occur to us to delay marriage due to existing loans. Now, we sure wouldn't have paid for a big wedding (we didn't) or taken a lavish honeymoon (we didn't) or planned for more children (we have one) with these big financial burdens, but we DID decide to get married.

Life goes on. It's fine. Get married on the cheap and keep chipping away. One tip is to put two months worth of loan payments in a savings account you don't touch, and if you fall behind you can dip into that to pay it. Then catch up the savings account asap. This will be a safeguard for you, and reserve the money so that you can not spend it. Treat it like rent - you get your first two paychecks of the month and you literally put it aside for rent and loans. Then you spend/save.

Don't add another degree to the mix. Do figure out a way to increase income. Do not live above your means. Do prioritize paying off loans regularly and on time. Check those boxes off, and move on with your lives.

I know and am glad you will be talking to him.

I would REALLY reconsider marrying before this debt is paid off AND he's actively working f/t in a stable job.

He sounds horribly irresponsible and you cannot begin to imagine the toll that will take on you & your relationship, especially after the debt becomes yours after you handled your own responsibly.

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him to sell everything he owns. Buy an old van or pickup truck with a camper that he can live in. Drive up to North Dakota. Work his butt off for 2-3 years in as many jobs as he can get. The fracking shale oil boom is so huge in North Dakota that even McDonald's has to pay $15/hr for workers. In 2-3 years, he will have made enough money to pay off his student loans, and can start whatever new career he wants. He might even develop a work ethic while he's there.

I agree. There are other ways like this than taking the easy way out and defaulting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with previous posters, he needs to get a 2nd job or a higher paying job.

+1. He's only making $30K per year. If he works full time, then he's only making about $14.5 per hour, so basically he's decided to completely ignore the training and education that he borrowed to get. Well, he's still responsible for paying it back.

$600/month is $150/week. Current minimum wage is $7.25 per hour. If he works 20 hours per week at a minimum wage job, he'll make the payment. If he can make $10/hr then he can do it with 15 hours. Another option is for him to talk to his employer if there are other jobs around the company that can be done. Evening janitorial jobs may be an option. I know someone who extended their work day 2 hours every day and in the middle did the mail courier runs between buildings and customer sites. Another joined the receptionist team and manned the front desk for an hour every day when the receptionist went to lunch and got 5 hours/week more (at a lower rate), but it was enough to make ends meet for her. She still put in 40 hours per week on her regular job, but her work days were not 9.5 hours instead of 8.5 hours.

I agree with this post. Since loans are not dischargeable, if he's making only $30k a year, he will have to suck it up and get a second job before he even thinks about getting another degree. It will delay the education but whether he does that or not will tell you how determined he is to get that second degree.
Or have him change jobs. There's a ton of jobs that make more than $30k a year. He will have to be in a higher paying job and then go back to school if he really desires it. Education/degree is not an entitlement. It's a privilege.

Anonymous wrote:

I worked my tail off at jobs I wasn't 100% in love with and paid them all off in 6 years. I didn't go out and buy a fancy car or clothes, etc. I put it all towards paying the loans,because it was my duty, my obligation. It never would have occurred to me that I should find a way to not pay them. your boyfriend needs someone to slap him and say snap out of it. this to me is part of the problem with millenniums, it is like they don't want to work for all the glory, they are waiting for publishers clearinghouse to knock on their door and say you've won this great perfect easy job that pays all the money in the world for no effort, you deserve it, you're perfect.

There does seem to be a disconnect. We have done a disservice to our children (and ultimately our society) by creating a generation that has no work ethic, unrealistic expectations and delusions of grandeur.

There is a disconnect but we're not all irresponsible. I'm in my mid 20s, 30k in (federal) loans with a BA and an MA. I've been working for a few years on an entry level salary and paid off nearly 10k so far. I take my loan repayment responsibility very seriously and my interest rates are high enough that it doesn't make sense financially to save for retirement (esp. right now) until I pay off the loans. I'm hoping to finish them off in the next 3 years or so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn't a horrible idea to go back to school. Many loans are in forbearance while in school. He may not have to make any payments if he is in school again.

... while the interest continues to accrue...

Yeah. Is this pp really suggesting to go back to school to incur more debt as a means of avoiding paying the six figures of debt he already has? Oy.

This is exactly what I did. I had about $100K in student loan debt and had trouble finding a job in a new city I moved to with DH. My payments were about to come due. I enrolled in a masters program and my loans went into forbearance. I finally found a public sector job in the new city. Since my loan went from $100K to $150K, and I'm in the income-based repayment program, my current payment is the same as it would've been without the extra degree. It is an option, but the new degree would need to be in an area where OP's boyfriend can get a job.

Yeah, the idea that he is going to go back to school and take on MORE debt is the most worrying one! And that he is apparently earning so little now because he is working an entry level job in that new field - indicating he is not working up to his earning potential, and that this new field is low paid too. He needs a reality check about finances. Even if you guys could some how scrape up and extra 600 every month to service the existing debt, that is at the cost of everything else - retirement, house, emergency savings. Now is not the time to take time out of the workforce or take on more debt!!! Unless his new degree has a really good chance of a high paying job it is a horrible idea.