Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god. I can't believe everyone is reacting this way. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. Seriously. Babies put everything in their mouth. Crumbs off the floor, dirty toys, their grimy hands, etc etc. OP, I would've been shocked at my SIL's reaction as well.

That being said, your SIL does get to choose what is and isn't appropriate. She could've been a little calmer about it though, and you could've just said Okay, apologized, and moved on.

Also-- when you say you bit it in half and fed it to her, you mean, you handed her the other half, right?
You don't mean you like, gave her the chewed up one in your mouth? Or fed it to her, mouth to mouth? Because that would be kind of weird.

People are reacting this way because they can think, read, and are informed. On this forum alone, you could have informed yourself about herpes and cavity-causing bacteria, for instance. Perhaps not a big deal to you, but a big deal to many parents.

Crumbs off the floor, dirty toys, etc, are unavoidable and mostly harmless microbes that boost babies' immune systems. Sharing saliva with someone who's not even a parent is neither.

Not to mention that OP reacted like an entitled little b!tch.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god. I can't believe everyone is reacting this way. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. Seriously. Babies put everything in their mouth. Crumbs off the floor, dirty toys, their grimy hands, etc etc. OP, I would've been shocked at my SIL's reaction as well.

That being said, your SIL does get to choose what is and isn't appropriate. She could've been a little calmer about it though, and you could've just said Okay, apologized, and moved on.

Also-- when you say you bit it in half and fed it to her, you mean, you handed her the other half, right?
You don't mean you like, gave her the chewed up one in your mouth? Or fed it to her, mouth to mouth? Because that would be kind of weird.

People are reacting this way because they can think, read, and are informed. On this forum alone, you could have informed yourself about herpes and cavity-causing bacteria, for instance. Perhaps not a big deal to you, but a big deal to many parents.

Crumbs off the floor, dirty toys, etc, are unavoidable and mostly harmless microbes that boost babies' immune systems. Sharing saliva with someone who's not even a parent is neither.

I do this all the time with DD (well, I did, when I used to halve her grapes). I would probably do it out of habit with someone else's kid. If it was pointed out nicely "Hey, she doesn't want Auntie's germs!" I would laugh it off and apologize.
I think she could have handled the situation better, but I think OP could have diffused it by apologizing even if you don't mean it. "Sorry, habit - where do you keep the knives?"

I don't even think the SIL over-reacted by yelling. Yelling is something you do when a) you are very shocked and/or b) time is of the essence, when you are trying to get someone's attending b/c something dangerous is going on. ( Example, "Fire!") I think I would have done the same thing b/c I would have been both a) shocked that a sentient adult human being in modern-day America would think this is acceptable to do to a child who was not their baby and b) wanting to stop it immediately, before she took one more bite.

Well, considering this is a mommy-daddy forum and you, OP, are definitely childless, I think your SIL may have already read this wonderful post and you'll be lucky if you see your niece again. Congratulations, you selfish little bitch.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god. I can't believe everyone is reacting this way. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. Seriously. Babies put everything in their mouth. Crumbs off the floor, dirty toys, their grimy hands, etc etc. OP, I would've been shocked at my SIL's reaction as well.

That being said, your SIL does get to choose what is and isn't appropriate. She could've been a little calmer about it though, and you could've just said Okay, apologized, and moved on.

Also-- when you say you bit it in half and fed it to her, you mean, you handed her the other half, right?
You don't mean you like, gave her the chewed up one in your mouth? Or fed it to her, mouth to mouth? Because that would be kind of weird.

The big deal is in not respecting a mother's wishes, completely aside from giving her a piece of fruit you bit, or giving her an Oreo when the kid isn't supposed to have sweets, or letting her have cheerios off the ground when the mom is germphobe, etc etc. It's about a sister-in-law (WITHOUT KIDS, no less, so someone that has NO CLUE how it feels like to be charged with protecting a little life) who thinks she is within her rights to contradict and override what the baby's mom thinks about the baby's care. Look, this mom sounds like a caring mother who may be (is probably? is definitely?) overprotective. So what? When it comes to my kids, so am I. And if someone had the gall to get in my face about the decisions I make about my child, I'd be just as angry as this OP's SIL is.

By the way, OP, you sound pathetic when you admit that you complain to your bro on a frequent basis about your SIL. Seriously? Do you not have your own life to live? You own boyfriend? Your own friends? Your bro is married, and like it or not, believe it or not, accept it or not, he loves his wife more than he loves you. Get over it.

Oh my god. I can't believe everyone is reacting this way. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. Seriously. Babies put everything in their mouth. Crumbs off the floor, dirty toys, their grimy hands, etc etc. OP, I would've been shocked at my SIL's reaction as well.

That being said, your SIL does get to choose what is and isn't appropriate. She could've been a little calmer about it though, and you could've just said Okay, apologized, and moved on.

Also-- when you say you bit it in half and fed it to her, you mean, you handed her the other half, right?
You don't mean you like, gave her the chewed up one in your mouth? Or fed it to her, mouth to mouth? Because that would be kind of weird.

OP -- does it matter to you at all that pretty much every single person on this board has told you that you were wrong? Has it changed your mind at all, or how you will interact with your SIL, or are you just going to plow ahead? I hope that you didn't just post to vent and instead are learning from this.

OP, what good does it do to tell your brother about this? Do you expect him to tell your SIL to apologize to you? Do you want to let him know that your SIL is not nice to you? Either scenario, don't you think she will have a reasonable her side of her story too? So after it escalates into a family argument or something, what have you accomplished? You sound young and immature about family boundaries.

She was perhaps a bit rude about it, but she is entitled to have a guest--even if a family member--respect her wishes. So just apologize, and smooth things over. She should apologize, too, not for her sentiments about sharing food, but the way she expressed them.

First, my confession: I have done this before, too. I don't think it's that big of a deal (can we all just think for a minute about the various things our kids have had in their mouths over the years?) but it is not your call. This is her baby and she gets to decide, and your attitude in this thread goes a long way toward explaining how she got to the point of yelling. You sound insufferable.

OP, you sound just like my MIL. Your poor SIL, I can see why she flipped out. My MIL talks back all the time, about every little thing and for days after I drop the issue. I flipped out once, when she tried to leave my 3 weeks old on a concrete balcony at 100 degrees weather -"the child needed fresh air"- and prevented from bringing DC in. Stop the power struggle now, you'll get to make decisions when you get your own kids. For now, follow you SIL's direction.

Anonymous wrote:So over the weekend, I was feeding my 10 month old niece some fruit (strawberries and grapes). I bit the fruit and half and fed it to her. My SIL (her mother) came in and how me do this and immediately flipped out. She told me not to feed her daughter food out of my mouth. I told her it’s not a big deal. She said it was and that she doesn’t know where my mouth has been (RUDE!). I said my mouth is clean and she’s my niece. She said well she’s NOT your daughter. Then she said when you have your own kids you can give them food out of your mouth, but don’t you DARE ever do that with my child again! I couldn’t believe it, I was so upset that I was in tears. I really think she overreacted. Should I tell my brother about this?

Why did you bite the fruit and feed it to her? No knife nearby? She could have been nicer telling you her preferences, but holy shit lady, I feel the same way as your SIL. When you have your own child, you will know.

she sounds nutso OP, but I do wonder about your role in the drama. You engaged her in a power struggle unnecessarily. Do you have a poor relationship with her otherwise? Do you attempt to split between her and your brother?

Anonymous wrote:She over reacted.

It's funny because there was a study about how it is beleive that the rise in food allergies may be due to the fact that mothers in the US no longer chew food and give it to their babies. Women in other countries routinely do this. It is beleived that mothers chewing food first give the food some sort of protective properties. I think the article was in the NY times.

It hasn't been the norm to prechew your baby's food in America for a long time, and yet the rise in food allergies is recent. How do you explain that?

I also want to add that a 1/2 grape is still a huge choking hazard. It's still round, and the right size to get lodged in their airway. Grapes for that age need to be cut into slivers so that they don't have any circular faces.