Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 22:45     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Anonymous wrote:My daughter was just awakened by a nightmare about monsters and as I comforted her back to sleep, she mumbled to me, "mama, max says santa's not real". Background is that Max lives near us and attends the same school my DD does; they are in first grade. We are not unfriendly with the parents, but I know them only in passing and my husband would be hard pressed to even recognize them or remember that they live in our neighborhood. In fact, when I just whispered this to him as I crawled back into bed, he said "max who?". From what I know of his family, I have already suspected that they wouldn't do the Santa thing (conversations with his mom at pickup/drop off have led me to believe that they think telling kids about Santa is lying to their kids). I totally respect their point of view and picking what is right for their family and pass no negative judgement on them. Still, COME ON PEOPLE! If you are not doing Santa, please tell your kids not declare this to the class. For us, My DH and I both had incredibly early loses of innocence and wonder in our lives, and one of our main goals is to keep our kids imaginations and belief in belief in magic as long as we can. You can seriously blame it on us as being habitual liars or something, but please tell your kids (whatever their age), to not plant the seed of doubt in the mind of my child, because that means that our Santa time is over


My guess is that the mom did tell her son not to tell other children that Santa is not real. I guess Max caused your daughter to have these nightmares?
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 22:42     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Anonymous wrote:Kids don't really tolerate bullshit. If they know something is a lie, they're not going to make nice and let other kids believe it. Their sense of justice is just far too strong for that. I remember having this passionate discussion with other kids where I would try to reason it out with them- "How does he get to everyone's house? What about people who don't celebrate Christmas? How does he get all those toys? How can they fit through the chimney? What if you don't have a chimney? How can reindeer fly without wings?"


+1

You just can't ask a first grader to "preserve childhood" or whatever for their peers.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 22:41     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
For god's sake. First grade is when it happens. Max wasn't saying this to dispel your daughter's innocence. This is a very serious conversation among first graders, and they really are concerned about the truth.

This will be the first of many truths you can't protect her from. Get over it.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 22:24     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
OP, you have to accept that you don't have total control over this. Period. I bet most parents DO tell their kids not to spoil it for other -- I will, when I tell mine -- but do your kids do what you tell them to do 100% of the time? You have to take life as it comes and roll with it.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 22:18     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
If your child doesn't believe in Santa, that's fine, but don't ruin it for other children. YOU can ask your child to refrain from talking about Santa at school. WHY does your child feel the need to tell others that he is not real? WHY ruin the childhood belief in Santa? Please let my child enjoy this while they can before enough kids can spoil this magical time. Out of respect for others, please ask your child to not correct others about Santa's existence!
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 22:04     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Kids don't really tolerate bullshit. If they know something is a lie, they're not going to make nice and let other kids believe it. Their sense of justice is just far too strong for that. I remember having this passionate discussion with other kids where I would try to reason it out with them- "How does he get to everyone's house? What about people who don't celebrate Christmas? How does he get all those toys? How can they fit through the chimney? What if you don't have a chimney? How can reindeer fly without wings?"
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 22:04     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Anonymous wrote:Kids who do that are jerks.


And so are their parents.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 21:17     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, and my child feels sorry for them.


So, you teach that to your kids rather than that not everyone celebrates Christmas b/c not everyone is christian? Way to teach tolerance and understanding. So, I guess I should teach my kids to feel sorry for yours b/c they don't get 8 nights of presents...........
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 21:13     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
You also need to consider the age of the kids. 3-5 year olds can't understand "Santa isn't real, but don't tell anyone else." Yes, I agree that an older child can be taught not to "ruin" it for a younger child.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 21:11     Subject: Re:Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My child is "Max." Sorry lady, but my child will shout it to the world and there is nothing you can do about it.


My kids are older but still curious why you feel this way. You don't think it is mean to take away someone's fun, joy, excitement? I don't mind at all that you don't believe. We have very good frineds who don't believe in santa. It just seems a common courtesy, respectful, and neighborly to let the kids who believe, believe. When our last one discovered the truth, i just said there might be kids who still believe so this is not something you need to share. He was okay with that. We never said he had to lie. Again, i am not sure why the non-santa believers can't just have their views and let the santa believers have their views. Why should one 5 year old make another 5 yr old cry - why does he/ she get to crush someone eles's spirit of joy. The world is tough enough as we see everyday. I wish everyone joy wherever they can find it -- without hurting someone else.


I think your mistaking an adult's understanding of "crushing someone else's joy" with a child's sense of truth, which is about as black and white and literal as it gets. If I call my 3-year-old's underwear "pants" she gets all up in arms and corrects me ("They aren't pants! They are underwear!") Similarly, a child is likely to miss the nuance the Santa/innocense thing and focus on what he or she sees as the truth of the matter. ("He's not real!")
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 20:59     Subject: Re:Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Anonymous wrote:Do what I do - Tell them Santa doesn't come to Max's house because his family doesn't believe. When kids don't believe in Santa, they don't get presents from Santa. Simple.

Or, just tell them Max and his parents are on the naughty list. I've done that a few times as well.


Wow really? And what if Max's family is of a different religion from you? That's really teaching your child to be tolerant.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 20:34     Subject: Re:Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
Do what I do - Tell them Santa doesn't come to Max's house because his family doesn't believe. When kids don't believe in Santa, they don't get presents from Santa. Simple.

Or, just tell them Max and his parents are on the naughty list. I've done that a few times as well.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 20:04     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
To the person who thinks its ok that her child loudly points out physical attributes of others: there is a name for children like yours: little bastards. And it's not your child's fault, it's yours.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 20:02     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
I had a mother accuse me of ruining christmas for her family because my daughter told her son that there was no santa claus. DD completely denied saying it and still believed at the time. It was bizarre for me and I never felt comfortable with that mom since then.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 19:58     Subject: Tell your kids not to ruin Santa for mine
I just tell mine that max says that because he doesn't get presents as he and his parents are mean. I encourage them to feel sorry for them and not to rub in his issues by discussing Santa with him.