Anonymous
12/22/2012 15:13
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you applied to live-in nanny jobs? Are you trying to get evening babysitting jobs?
OP here: I am working with multiple nanny agencies to try and get a live-in position. I have experience with high profile families so I do qualify for a lot of the high paying agency jobs however, they are very hard competition. Right now, I have resumes sent out to families in NYC and Boston.
Have you looked into other jobs that are part time or filler jobs to put more money in the bank? Retail, waitressing, babysitting, dog walking, etc? You need to continue to send out resumes in your chosen field and hope for the best but in the meantime you have to consider working in other ways just to make ends meet. This seems like just REALITY to me. Nobody WANTS to do this but most of us have at some point...it isnt forever. There is no easy fix.
Also, you really lost me with spending 25 dollars a month on your eyebrows. I do my own eyebrows and believe me I have some to deal with and I make a good 6 figures. This is weird and indicates you have a problem with prioritizing. You need to put that 25 dollars in savings, or toward your credit cards or car bill....How do you rationalize spending money on this really if the car you have is about to be repossessed?
And have you spoken to each of these companies and explained your situation and asked for guidance/options? If so, what did they say in response? THIS is the responsible thing to do. Certainly do this before hitting your parents up for help. Do what you can ON YOUR OWN to reduce fees and interest and then if you need help, ask. I actually recommend you do this yourself as opposed to going to a credit repair company - you can describe your situation truthfully better than anyone and see what they will do to help.
Can your parents co sign for a loan for a lesser car? This might solve your car problem. How long have you been trying to sell your car for 14000? If it has been a while, it is not selling because it is too high. I dont know that I would use trade in offer as a good price for selling it on your own. Seems like car dealers will offer you a sweet trade in number and then adjust the second car's price to absorb it. They have ways of screwing around with every number on the sheet they show you to make things look great and they know that we look at the big main numbers more which might be why they are offering you the 14K...
A 2009 Cx7 with 35k miles on it for 14k is a really good price. If I didn't already have one I'd buy it myself. Is there something wrong with it that we don't know? How much will CarMax give you for it?
OP here: There is honestly NOTHING wrong with it. It's the upper model with leather seats, bose, 6 disc cd changer, etc. so I know it's worth the price I am asking for it. I haven't tried carmax because I don't even know where one is around here. I have looked online at kbb and for "good condition" it says I could get $14,779 and for "great" it says $15,179.
In that case get to CARMAX asap. Go to CarMax.com and look for the closest location. With only 35k miles on it I'd think it would be worth more than that, esp if it's the higher end model. (BTW, you're not doing yourself any favors when you point out all the extras.... you just come across as a spoiled rich kid. I don't want to be mean bu you really need a reality check). The is absolutely a market for that car and there is no reason why you can't sell it for 14k or more.
Anonymous
12/22/2012 15:12
Subject: Re:I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:So OP, after reading all these responses, what are you planning to do about your financial situation? You posted asking for help and I am curious what sort of plan you have formulated given the many many good ideas people have offered.
I am interested to know this, too.
Anonymous
Anonymous
12/22/2012 14:39
Subject: Re:I am so over my head
So OP, after reading all these responses, what are you planning to do about your financial situation? You posted asking for help and I am curious what sort of plan you have formulated given the many many good ideas people have offered.
Anonymous
12/22/2012 11:59
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:What happened to your job in VA? Why not go back?
Sounds strange that you "had" to get an SUV when nannying for infant twins. Your honda civic should've been fine for that job or, if not, than work out a deal with that family in regards to transporting, but you shouldn't "had" to buy a new CX 7 bc you were a nanny for twins.
Obviously, you made some bad choices and didn't plan for the future - car payments, credit card bills, etc.
And obviously, what you are doing now isn't working so change it until you find something that works. If that means you need to become a bus driver (they pay almost $18/hour in FFx Co VA) for a year so be it. It will get you a paycheck.
Consider downsize and selling off things. And do it. Don't jsut talk about or think about it, but start! Sell the CX7. You won't get what you paid for it, but it will stop the bleeding of bad credit. The list goes on...
OP here: I answered this before but I left because of issues with the family not following through with our contract. I live in Rhode Island now so now, I am not going back to VA for that job. Thanks for the advice anyway.
Anonymous
12/22/2012 11:10
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:OP here: Actually, it is true. Up until I moved to VA for my nanny position..my parent's paid for EVERYTHING. Spending money? They gave it to me. Gas? They gave it to me. Hair or nails? They gave it to me. Clothes? Mom took me shopping.
I didn't expect to move to VA..it kind of came on quickly. I had planned on staying home for a while longer but my mom and I were NOT getting along at ALL and I took the first chance I had to get out.
I pray my SIL is reading this, cause she's doing the same damage to her kids -- everything they need is paid for without question, as are just about all the things they want. The two oldest are now out of college and living at home, because neither she nor they can figure out how they can live independently, with iPhones and their own cars and eating outing twice a day when their jobs pay $10 an hour.
Anonymous
12/22/2012 11:03
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"I had $2,329 left over every month. Those were the ONLY two payments I had to make. I was still living at home and I was on a family share plan with my parents for my cellphone, paid no rent, paid no groceries, paid no utilities...so yes, I felt like I could afford it at the time."
I think you know this is not true. There are expenses far outside the things you mentioned and they are big ones. health, incidentals, gas, spending money, hair and personal upkeep, clothing, vacations, etc etc the list goes on.
You know you arent guaranteed free rent/utilities/groceries forever in a job like this because things could end for any reason making it necessary for you to find a place to live and a new job just like you are now. Savings burn out quickly as you have found out. You left a job with no job to go to? felt you would find work quickly and if not live on savings and still be ok. This is part of the 20 something syndrome honestly - you need to live more conservatively than this or you will always need to be rescued every few years. This is just a fact.
OP here: Actually, it is true. Up until I moved to VA for my nanny position..my parent's paid for EVERYTHING. Spending money? They gave it to me. Gas? They gave it to me. Hair or nails? They gave it to me. Clothes? Mom took me shopping.
I didn't expect to move to VA..it kind of came on quickly. I had planned on staying home for a while longer but my mom and I were NOT getting along at ALL and I took the first chance I had to get out.
Here's the thing, OP: You need to learn the basics of personal finance, and apply them consistently to your choices. From what you have posted, it sounds as if you have not learned how to manage money, and your parents' generosity, while well-intentioned, has apparently fed your ignorance.
Here are some basic facts for you:
The first items to budget for are housing, food, and healthcare. Not cars, gyms and cell plans.
Committing to contracts for services (cell, gym) in the absence of reliable long-term income is a bad idea.
Cable TV is a luxury and not a necessity.
Eating out is a luxury.
Personal services such as eyebrow threading are luxuries not to be indulged in routinely in the absence of robust income.
You sound very upset and confused about your financial situation, and it appears that as time goes by the financial hole you are in is getting deeper and deeper. Unless you cut expenses, raise income, or do both, your hole will get deeper and your anxiety will rise.
At your age, I was on my own as well, with zero help from my parents. DH likewise had and has no help from his parents. I am now a 50yo lawyer making a very healthy income - but this came about through financial discipline and hard work. For decades I have foregone cable TV, smartphone plans, gym memberships and fancy cars in favor of financial security. I bought my first car at 34yo, and it was a $15K purchase made in cash - and I'm still driving it.
The sensation of being financially secure is a beautiful thing, well worth the hard work it takes to achieve. It is a tremendous sense of freedom and opens up all kinds of possibilities for life, if you do not owe lenders and do not worry about how to pay for things.
I strongly suggest that you find a personal finance course at a local adult ed center or community college, and set about learning how to set yourself up for the long haul vis-a-vis your money. See also Suze Orman and Dave Ramsey. Also read the getrichslowly blog.
Then apply what you have learned. Stop saying "but." Stop saying you need things that are wants or luxuries.
Really, it is SO worth it.
Good luck.
Anonymous
12/21/2012 23:02
Subject: I am so over my head
What happened to your job in VA? Why not go back?
Sounds strange that you "had" to get an SUV when nannying for infant twins. Your honda civic should've been fine for that job or, if not, than work out a deal with that family in regards to transporting, but you shouldn't "had" to buy a new CX 7 bc you were a nanny for twins.
Obviously, you made some bad choices and didn't plan for the future - car payments, credit card bills, etc.
And obviously, what you are doing now isn't working so change it until you find something that works. If that means you need to become a bus driver (they pay almost $18/hour in FFx Co VA) for a year so be it. It will get you a paycheck.
Consider downsize and selling off things. And do it. Don't jsut talk about or think about it, but start! Sell the CX7. You won't get what you paid for it, but it will stop the bleeding of bad credit. The list goes on...
Sounds strange that you "had" to get an SUV when nannying for infant twins. Your honda civic should've been fine for that job or, if not, than work out a deal with that family in regards to transporting, but you shouldn't "had" to buy a new CX 7 bc you were a nanny for twins.
Obviously, you made some bad choices and didn't plan for the future - car payments, credit card bills, etc.
And obviously, what you are doing now isn't working so change it until you find something that works. If that means you need to become a bus driver (they pay almost $18/hour in FFx Co VA) for a year so be it. It will get you a paycheck.
Consider downsize and selling off things. And do it. Don't jsut talk about or think about it, but start! Sell the CX7. You won't get what you paid for it, but it will stop the bleeding of bad credit. The list goes on...
Anonymous
12/21/2012 22:46
Subject: I am so over my head
OP, you've gotten great advice from people on digging out of your short term hole. I would suggest, once you're out of the immediate mess, to sit down and think about your longer term finances and outlook. You should work on building up savings, which means financial freedom. You need to be smarter about money. Don't listen to people who are trying to sell you things about what you can and cannot afford. You cannot "afford" something unless you can pay in cash. And you should always have a cushion of savings. So, for example, you could not afford the car at the time you bought it because you had to take out a loan to buy it.
This means delayed gratification and living frugally for a while, and budgeting/planning your finances. If you don't have great guidance from your parents on this, I recommend doing your own research and studying on the issue. Good luck.
This means delayed gratification and living frugally for a while, and budgeting/planning your finances. If you don't have great guidance from your parents on this, I recommend doing your own research and studying on the issue. Good luck.
Anonymous
12/21/2012 21:45
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:In order for her to get rid of the car, somebody has to be willing to buy it. If she sells the car for less than she owes, she's without a car and without money to purchase another in an area where she needs a car. I agree, buying a 20K car was not the smartest move, but how does that help her today???? Her previous nanny job is gone! What good does it do to tell her it was dumb for her to leave it now? Give her advice based on where she is today and check the smugness at the door.
She's NOT paying $200 to the phone company. Even if you factor in her cable bill, she's paying the cable bill in exchange for her roommate paying the utilities because the bills are roughly the same. So she's paying $200 for utilities, cell, and cable per month. Let's stop pretending she's spending an exorbitant amount. I'm not saying keep the cable, but it's not the real issue which is she needs to dramatically increase her income or drop her living expenses altogether by moving in with her parents.
OP, I suggest you give yourself until February or so to find a job that covers all your expenses. Otherwise, its time to go back home. You have made alot of commitments (to your roommate, the gym, the dealership) and now you have to make the most of what's in front of you. Be upfront with your roommate and let her know that you will likely have to move back home, because you can't afford your bills together.
It's probably a good thing that you won't like living at home, because it will give you the incentive to work harder. At home with your parents, you can double up on those car payments and pay off the Mazda quicker.
OP here: I really appreciate your feedback. Thank you.
Anonymous
12/21/2012 21:44
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Please cut your expenses to the bone immediately and sell your car, find a job near your parents and live with them while you get a degree in a field that has a good future. I remember in my 20s everything seemed so huge and the present mattered more than anything. You will find out that life is LONG. There IS time to think, plan for the future, set yourself on a path that may be not that pleasant now but rewards you later.
OP here: unfortunately, I am in no position to sell my car. I have. 2009 Mazda CX-7 that I got 2 1/2 years ago (when I could easily afford it) and am in a 5 year loan. With everything that has happened, my credit has gone to hell and I don't qualify to get another car because my credit is so bad.
I live 5 minutes from my parents and work 15 minutes away however, I am in a rental agreement with my condo until June. Also, my mom and I do not get along when we live together and it's better to not be living there.
Staggered that you would buy a brand new CX7 as a single woman. We have a CX7 for a family of 4. It is the only new car we have ever bought and the only car I've ever spent more than 2k on. It is the only car of that size I have ever owned and the gas mileage is not good. We only bought it now, in my late 40s because we could pay cash.
OP here: I had a 2 door, honda civic before my CX-7. I was nannying for twin infants at the time and half of the week, I would have to use my car with them. It was NOT easy getting infant seats in and out of a 2 door car. I knew that I would be nannying for a while so I decided that I needed a SUV. The CX-7 was one of the safest AND cheapest ones that I looked at.
Anonymous
12/21/2012 21:42
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:"I had $2,329 left over every month. Those were the ONLY two payments I had to make. I was still living at home and I was on a family share plan with my parents for my cellphone, paid no rent, paid no groceries, paid no utilities...so yes, I felt like I could afford it at the time."
I think you know this is not true. There are expenses far outside the things you mentioned and they are big ones. health, incidentals, gas, spending money, hair and personal upkeep, clothing, vacations, etc etc the list goes on.
You know you arent guaranteed free rent/utilities/groceries forever in a job like this because things could end for any reason making it necessary for you to find a place to live and a new job just like you are now. Savings burn out quickly as you have found out. You left a job with no job to go to? felt you would find work quickly and if not live on savings and still be ok. This is part of the 20 something syndrome honestly - you need to live more conservatively than this or you will always need to be rescued every few years. This is just a fact.
OP here: Actually, it is true. Up until I moved to VA for my nanny position..my parent's paid for EVERYTHING. Spending money? They gave it to me. Gas? They gave it to me. Hair or nails? They gave it to me. Clothes? Mom took me shopping.
I didn't expect to move to VA..it kind of came on quickly. I had planned on staying home for a while longer but my mom and I were NOT getting along at ALL and I took the first chance I had to get out.
Anonymous
12/21/2012 21:40
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you applied to live-in nanny jobs? Are you trying to get evening babysitting jobs?
OP here: I am working with multiple nanny agencies to try and get a live-in position. I have experience with high profile families so I do qualify for a lot of the high paying agency jobs however, they are very hard competition. Right now, I have resumes sent out to families in NYC and Boston.
Have you looked into other jobs that are part time or filler jobs to put more money in the bank? Retail, waitressing, babysitting, dog walking, etc? You need to continue to send out resumes in your chosen field and hope for the best but in the meantime you have to consider working in other ways just to make ends meet. This seems like just REALITY to me. Nobody WANTS to do this but most of us have at some point...it isnt forever. There is no easy fix.
Also, you really lost me with spending 25 dollars a month on your eyebrows. I do my own eyebrows and believe me I have some to deal with and I make a good 6 figures. This is weird and indicates you have a problem with prioritizing. You need to put that 25 dollars in savings, or toward your credit cards or car bill....How do you rationalize spending money on this really if the car you have is about to be repossessed?
And have you spoken to each of these companies and explained your situation and asked for guidance/options? If so, what did they say in response? THIS is the responsible thing to do. Certainly do this before hitting your parents up for help. Do what you can ON YOUR OWN to reduce fees and interest and then if you need help, ask. I actually recommend you do this yourself as opposed to going to a credit repair company - you can describe your situation truthfully better than anyone and see what they will do to help.
Can your parents co sign for a loan for a lesser car? This might solve your car problem. How long have you been trying to sell your car for 14000? If it has been a while, it is not selling because it is too high. I dont know that I would use trade in offer as a good price for selling it on your own. Seems like car dealers will offer you a sweet trade in number and then adjust the second car's price to absorb it. They have ways of screwing around with every number on the sheet they show you to make things look great and they know that we look at the big main numbers more which might be why they are offering you the 14K...
A 2009 Cx7 with 35k miles on it for 14k is a really good price. If I didn't already have one I'd buy it myself. Is there something wrong with it that we don't know? How much will CarMax give you for it?
OP here: There is honestly NOTHING wrong with it. It's the upper model with leather seats, bose, 6 disc cd changer, etc. so I know it's worth the price I am asking for it. I haven't tried carmax because I don't even know where one is around here. I have looked online at kbb and for "good condition" it says I could get $14,779 and for "great" it says $15,179.
Anonymous
12/21/2012 21:37
Subject: I am so over my head
Clearly you never worked on the Hill. Low, low pay when you answer phones! Like I said, no car so no gas!
Anonymous
12/21/2012 21:36
Subject: I am so over my head
Anonymous wrote:Mental note: when interviewing nannies try to figure out just how idiotic they are in their own lives--it may affect you!
OP, some how I was able to love in DC making 22k a year at your age. Of course I didn't have a car, had THREE roommates in a 2 bdrm (yes doubled up with random woman but without a car I had to be close to Metro which was $$), gym- Hahahaha and Tweezerman is a $21 investment. You can even send them back for free sharpening!
No one is going to help you. You need to help yourself which I highly doubt will ever happen.
In what year were you her age in DC? I made 28K a year 9 years ago in DC and thats aLOT different than today. Do you remember what gas cost 9 years ago? What about rent? Hell, the metro? Food?