Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends is a smoker. She has a ton of tattoos up and down her arms. I am a fan of NEITHER of those qualities.

Three years ago she left an abusive boyfriend - she had a 16 month old, no car, no job, no money. They lived with us for 8 months during which time she got a kick-ass job, saved enough for a cheap car, got an safe, clean apartment in a good school district in MoCo, got full custody of her sweet son, and is now moving up the ladder at her company. She is the most loyal friend and employee you will ever meet in your LIFE. She has been there for me for every problem I've ever had and has been a far better friend to me than I have been to her. I have now known her for 22 years and she has never wavered in her loyalty and support.

She is an amazing lesson to my boys - both the good and the few bad. We talk about her smoking and her tattoos, and how I approve of neither. But we talk about how she is SO much more than just those two things. How life is complex and complicated, we do the best we can, and try to see people for who they are as a whole - not any one quality or habit.

If you passed her up as a friend because of her smoking, or her tattoos, you would be GREATLY missing out, in so many ways.

I like you. This is such an important thing to learn in life. For my kids to understand how to see the true value in people and not just fall for trappings of success etc is so important to me. I love that you openly discuss that you don't like the smoking but that it does not define her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I am standing on the corner smoking, or sitting on my apartment balcony enjoying a cigarette and the smell drifts over to you, it is your problem to deal with. I am allowed to smoke on these occasions, despite the fact that second-hand smoke harms you.

If I am standing on the corner or sitting on my apartment balcony squirting you with a water-gun, you will object to this because I should not squirt water at you, despite the fact that water is harmless.

It's interesting that you don't seem to mind at all that your habit could prevent your neighbors from ever using their patios or opening their windows on a nice day. It's your attitude that makes people hate smokers, so well done.

Anonymous wrote:If I am standing on the corner smoking, or sitting on my apartment balcony enjoying a cigarette and the smell drifts over to you, it is your problem to deal with. I am allowed to smoke on these occasions, despite the fact that second-hand smoke harms you.

If I am standing on the corner or sitting on my apartment balcony squirting you with a water-gun, you will object to this because I should not squirt water at you, despite the fact that water is harmless.

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, because it makes me physically ill.
Tearing, sneezing, coughing, vomiting.

I don't care that you are smoking, or why, or what, but please don't smoke in the air that I'm breathing.

Anonymous wrote:This post cracks me up. "i know some smokers who are really nice..." Seriously? Are smokers typically mean and unfriendly? It's a bad, social habit. It's not indicative of a bad person. Get a grip. Hang out with them or don't but let's not go throwing them in the same category as felons, gangbangers and pediophiles (you know, actual bad people).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, because it makes me physically ill.
Tearing, sneezing, coughing, vomiting.

I don't care that you are smoking, or why, or what, but please don't smoke in the air that I'm breathing.

So, by your logic, as a vegetarian I (& all other veggies/vegans worldwide - not to mention many pregnant women) should be able to ban all barbecuing of animal meats because the smell makes me/us physically ill?!? I'm talking serious tearing, coughing, vomiting and all! Can we ban farms too, while we're at it? Not that there's any here in the city but when I visit the "summer home" - talk about migranes & nauseating smells! By the way, have you happened to walk near an intersection in DC lately or gotten a whiff of a woodburning fireplace? I don't think I should be forced to tolerate such noxious gasses because "I don't care... why, or what, but please don't smoke in the air I'm breathing" Is this really the American that you want to live in... where a few pps discomfort dictates what the rest of the free society can partake in? Because that is utter lunacy to me!

I am in no way suggesting that we live in a free-for-all world but if EVERYONE would take personal responsibility and just use (what used to be) some common sense, you know... being kind & considerate of others, showing compassion, a wee bit of tolerance, and for goodness sake - cut your fellow sister or brother a little slack now & again. Next time, try gently and kindly explaining your allergy to the "offender" (of whatever variety) and at least give them the opportunity to remedy the situation & if they can't or won't, then take it upon your grown-up self to quietly & dignifiably walk away. Acknowledge the fact we all have rights, and it may also help to try to remember these three things: 1. the best resolution to any situation begins with you putting yourself in the other person's shoes; 2. Some people really, truely get enjoyment out of the activity in which you find so repulsive (& I'm not referring only to those who partake themselves); 3. You my dear, are not the most important person in the universe - sorry - the good news in that is that neither is anyone else!

To make what a (very long) story short; yes, I could be friends with a smoker just not a selfish or intolerant one.

P.S.: So very sorry for the long rant, especially considering the time lapse from the last post, but I stumbled upon the thread and after reading so many replies - especially this one - I couldn't resist!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, because it makes me physically ill.
Tearing, sneezing, coughing, vomiting.

I don't care that you are smoking, or why, or what, but please don't smoke in the air that I'm breathing.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends is a smoker. She has a ton of tattoos up and down her arms. I am a fan of NEITHER of those qualities.

Three years ago she left an abusive boyfriend - she had a 16 month old, no car, no job, no money. They lived with us for 8 months during which time she got a kick-ass job, saved enough for a cheap car, got an safe, clean apartment in a good school district in MoCo, got full custody of her sweet son, and is now moving up the ladder at her company. She is the most loyal friend and employee you will ever meet in your LIFE. She has been there for me for every problem I've ever had and has been a far better friend to me than I have been to her. I have now known her for 22 years and she has never wavered in her loyalty and support.

She is an amazing lesson to my boys - both the good and the few bad. We talk about her smoking and her tattoos, and how I approve of neither. But we talk about how she is SO much more than just those two things. How life is complex and complicated, we do the best we can, and try to see people for who they are as a whole - not any one quality or habit.

If you passed her up as a friend because of her smoking, or her tattoos, you would be GREATLY missing out, in so many ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could probably be friends with someone who smoked if they were a nice, cool person and we had some common interests. Now anyone who liked The English Patient, forget it.

It was dreadful.

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, because it makes me physically ill.
Tearing, sneezing, coughing, vomiting.

I don't care that you are smoking, or why, or what, but please don't smoke in the air that I'm breathing.