For my DD's birthday one present is enough, and for Christmas she will get two presents or one

She gets a party. And about 5 million gifts in the mail from family members. We usually don't get her any tangible present.

1 - 2 gifts from the immediate family plus they pick what we have for dinner/dessert. Plus gifts from grandparents, although we've asked them to limit it to one each as well.

The value may fluctuate over the years, so can't really comment on that. But we try to keep gift-giving modest.

Some years we have big birthday parties, some years we don't. That doesn't factor into the gifts.

Pp here. DD is 5

We get maybe four Christmas gifts, one big the other modest. Dd gets another four or five modest gifts from grandparents and aunts/uncles.

Throughout the year we get a board game or puzzle each month. We like playing games with her and enjoy some variety. Used to buy lots of books but now frequent the library more as she develops new interests.

Anonymous wrote:for me atleast I couldn't deal with just getting my child just a oragami book, she's 13, while my son is 16. for Christmas I'll normally spend 500 to 700 dollars for each kid, and around 200 to 300 on birthdays, because they will get 250 from grandparents. once they become teenagers they need this amount of gifts because it is no longer this is a pretty shirt/jeans or the 2012 maden is fun it's more " mom this is not brandy Melville or pacsun what will my freinds think " and " I need the new game my freinds say they won't wanna come over if I don't have it" teens are tough so it's important that I get them what they need to be accepted into social community's.
the amount of money I spend could also have to do with the schools my children go to because this is really important at these places

Do you think it's healthy for children to buy into all this "keeping up with the Jones's"?
Are you creating *some* boundaries so that they do not expect everything to be handed to them all the time?
Otherwise they'll struggle in their adult life.

It all depends on what I think will appeal that year. Usually it's one or two big gifts, not many little ones. My range has been $25-$300 per child. It's not the monetary value that matters.

Anonymous wrote:for me atleast I couldn't deal with just getting my child just a oragami book, she's 13, while my son is 16. for Christmas I'll normally spend 500 to 700 dollars for each kid, and around 200 to 300 on birthdays, because they will get 250 from grandparents. once they become teenagers they need this amount of gifts because it is no longer this is a pretty shirt/jeans or the 2012 maden is fun it's more " mom this is not brandy Melville or pacsun what will my freinds think " and " I need the new game my freinds say they won't wanna come over if I don't have it" teens are tough so it's important that I get them what they need to be accepted into social community's.
the amount of money I spend could also have to do with the schools my children go to because this is really important at these places

WTF?? Thats some A+ parenting.

for me atleast I couldn't deal with just getting my child just a oragami book, she's 13, while my son is 16. for Christmas I'll normally spend 500 to 700 dollars for each kid, and around 200 to 300 on birthdays, because they will get 250 from grandparents. once they become teenagers they need this amount of gifts because it is no longer this is a pretty shirt/jeans or the 2012 maden is fun it's more " mom this is not brandy Melville or pacsun what will my freinds think " and " I need the new game my freinds say they won't wanna come over if I don't have it" teens are tough so it's important that I get them what they need to be accepted into social community's.
the amount of money I spend could also have to do with the schools my children go to because this is really important at these places

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is turning 8 soon. I got her a fancy origami book that is $14 and comes with origami paper. Plus I will give her a gift certificate from me to her saying we can have a baking afternoon.

Is this all your dd is getting for her bday? Or does she have gifts from family and friends too? My dd would cry her eyes out if this was all she got for her bday.

Um, I'll let her pick out what we make for dinner. I bet a couple of her girlfriends at school will make her cards and include little trinkets (last year her friend gave her a pretty rock she'd painted). A couple of times teachers have given her a cool pencil or something, so she might get that.

Is it possible that your DD is used to getting a lot more? If so, that would explain why she would cry her eyes out if she went from getting a slew of presents to one. My DD has always gotten one present on her birthday, so this is where her expectation level is.

I am glad your dd is that way, that seems nice, but what about when all the little girls get together at school and start saying, I have 3 american girl dolls, an ipad, an x box, and three million toys. Doesn't your dd feel a little bad to have only gotten a book and a pencil and a rock for her bday? For goodness sakes. I grew up in a family of 8 kids, and we were poor, but I still got more than one book for my bday.

I think a nice book, Birthday dinner, cake, and trinkets from school friends makes the perfect Birthday.

Last year we spent $35 on my son's 8th birthday.

We invited his whole class over to our house after school Friday. We got two $5 pizzas, a piñata from Mexico filled with 70% off Christmas candy, homemade cupcakes (also Christmas clearance), Free party games (like musical chairs), and 3 games gifts from the Dollar Store.

We gave him a Lego set that cost $10. Thus, his entire party + gift = $35

He also received gifts from his classmates, but this was a first. We usually request donations to charity instead of gifts.

I was about to write in that I thought it was crazy that any would be this materialistic, but then I thought back to my own childhood, and I do think that it is important to get at least one thing from your parents. It doesn't have to be of any certain value, but I think it is important to show you thought about it, and to establish good gift-giving habits in the future. My mother has always given me a retroactive gift, for example, "remember how I got you that dress last month, well, that is your birthday present." It isn't really cool. I don't think that means she cares any less about me, but I don't think it is appropriate.

I've yet to buy my DC a present for her birthday. (She just had her third.) Typically, I get focused on the party (not big ones either, just family/friends and something pretty laid back) and don't worry about a present. Then she gets gifts from her party and I think, Well, why bother with one now? I do get her gifts at Christmas, obviously, but we're also not the kind of family to do toys for no reason. I've seen way too many kids start to think that a store = a toy and throw fits in a grocery store because their mom told them they can't get a toy there. In fact, I once took DD to Toys R Us on a gloomy, blah day and told her to pick out a new toy. She asked to leave after 10 minutes and didn't want a toy. It was so weird, but I guess it's my fault since I've never just taken her into a store and said, "Pick something!" before.

As she gets older, I imagine I'll make the effort to get her a birthday present for her birthday, but so far, it's been a non-issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine not giving any gifts to my kids on their special day. They are gifts in my life and i love to celebrate their presence here. It is not about material value at all, it is about showing you care and their day is special as they are.

Wow, these posts are so eye-opening. Not sure so much of the individuals or of our society. I think it is about the material value (since so much else can show these things, $$ value must be what is meaningful to you) or a total lack of imagination on your part. Or maybe I am misreading this post and by gifts you might mean something neat you made for the child of little cost etc.

Are you saying that you find it odd or out of the ordinary for a child to get a birthday gift for his birthday?

Not at all. My wow was just about how you tied it to showing you care and that their day and they are special. Gifts are fine. My wow was really to the other stuff some people were saying as they gave their "gifts stats" or in asking things of those who don't. I actually don't think there is inherently right or wrong or anything about giving or not giving gifts. Just was taken aback by the thinking people were indicating, e.g., that gifts somehow show something of importance to the kid or that people should give gifts because the schoolmates will be getting 10 iPods and American Girls or what would a child do at home without these parent-given gifts.

Signed,

Someone who got gifts as a child (and gives some to my child) but who also was happy playing over and over and over again with the same Legos, playing house inside and Swiss Family Robinson outside with friends, and kickball with the entire street. Oh and I loved the Bookmobile.