Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate WITH PASSION having houseguests, especially, when they are my husband's grown children. They also expect we pick them up at the airport and drop them off-no matter the time. They expect the fridge to be full of all types of goods, etc. Their sense of entitlement makes me sick. My husband does't see that way and think his children just want to see him, but I know that what they want is a vacation on their father-PRETTY DISGUSTING!

You are the #1 reason I'm glad my parents stayed married. These are his kids! And they're coming to visit him. Geez. Our parents would be thrilled if we came and ate their food because it means we're visiting them. Evil stepmother.

Anonymous wrote:No houseguest here but I have a roommate who needed a place to stay temporarily. And now it's been 9 months. This thread reminds me exactly why I hate having a roommate and want them to leave. I feel like my personal space is invaded and I just want the place to myself. Ugh at least houseguests leave.

Anonymous wrote:I hate WITH PASSION having houseguests, especially, when they are my husband's grown children. They also expect we pick them up at the airport and drop them off-no matter the time. They expect the fridge to be full of all types of goods, etc. Their sense of entitlement makes me sick. My husband does't see that way and think his children just want to see him, but I know that what they want is a vacation on their father-PRETTY DISGUSTING!

Anonymous wrote:

Thanks for explaining, PP (I'm the poster you replied to). As others have commented in response to your additional details, I think one main difference is that you do seem to have ample space in which to welcome guests (friends/family) comfortably. We just don't have this now at all. It is also extremely fortunate that your in-laws can speak English (at least mostly your FIL). In my case, the extended family do not speak English (maybe a few words, just like me in their language); so that, coupled with the lack of space and my nature of being more introverted/private, make it challenging to find enjoyment in spending extended time together. There is only so much gesticulation one can do, although we all do try our best.

Anonymous wrote:
I would bet your wife's family is kind.

It is very difficult to stay with or accommodate people if they are passive aggressive jackasses looking for trouble at every turn.

Anonymous wrote:One of the reasons I married an Asian woman is their willingness to be accepting of guests ..... and especially family who they don't even view as guests. She has taught me a lot and as a result I am also very accepting and welcoming of family and other guests.

DW's parents and other relatives have visited us numerous times and in the case of the parents for weeks at a time. She is just as welcoming of my parents and siblings and they just love her. Her parents who live abroad when they do visit spend at least three months with us. It is not a bother at all. My parents come more often but for a couple of weeks at a time. Our children are close to their grandparents and uncles and aunts as well as their cousins.

Does it cause an element of disruption in our lives ....... sure it does but OTOH, there is so much we gain from the closeness and the bonds that have resulted. The treatment is reciprocated when we visit them overseas. They insist on giving up their own bedroom because it is larger and more comfortable although we are loathe to inconvenience them because they have excellent guest rooms that are very comfortable. It is very much a cultural thing because our comfort is all important to them.

Reading some of the comments here affirms for me the wisdom of having married into a culture that is so much more family-oriented than appears to be represented by the comments on this thread. We would never think of asking family members or even friends stay at a hotel and, yes, we have picked people up at the airport at midnight on occasion even though tell us they will take a taxi or rent a car. We won't hear of it ..... picking them up from the airport is part of the hospitality we accord them.

Oh, in case anyone thinks that DW fits the stereotype of the demure Asian woman, believe me that nothing could be further from the truth. She is a highly educated, professional woman who went to a couple of the best colleges in the US and makes a substantial income. She is assertive and opinionated but has her priorities right.

Now flame away ...........

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the reasons I married an Asian woman is their willingness to be accepting of guests ..... and especially family who they don't even view as guests. She has taught me a lot and as a result I am also very accepting and welcoming of family and other guests.

DW's parents and other relatives have visited us numerous times and in the case of the parents for weeks at a time. She is just as welcoming of my parents and siblings and they just love her. Her parents who live abroad when they do visit spend at least three months with us. It is not a bother at all. My parents come more often but for a couple of weeks at a time. Our children are close to their grandparents and uncles and aunts as well as their cousins.

Does it cause an element of disruption in our lives ....... sure it does but OTOH, there is so much we gain from the closeness and the bonds that have resulted. The treatment is reciprocated when we visit them overseas. They insist on giving up their own bedroom because it is larger and more comfortable although we are loathe to inconvenience them because they have excellent guest rooms that are very comfortable. It is very much a cultural thing because our comfort is all important to them.

Reading some of the comments here affirms for me the wisdom of having married into a culture that is so much more family-oriented than appears to be represented by the comments on this thread. We would never think of asking family members or even friends stay at a hotel and, yes, we have picked people up at the airport at midnight on occasion even though tell us they will take a taxi or rent a car. We won't hear of it ..... picking them up from the airport is part of the hospitality we accord them.

Oh, in case anyone thinks that DW fits the stereotype of the demure Asian woman, believe me that nothing could be further from the truth. She is a highly educated, professional woman who went to a couple of the best colleges in the US and makes a substantial income. She is assertive and opinionated but has her priorities right.

Now flame away ...........

How large is your house?

5 bedrooms & 4 1/2 baths. Four children with the two youngest sharing a bedroom. One bedroom is a dedicated guest room. We have house guests - mostly family but also some friends - for more than half the year.

Mi casa es su casa ......