Kids aren't really addicted to these things, parents just think they are, because really it's all they've known. If you've given recess pieces since birth, and take it away, then guess what, they will be upset. No big deal to just take it away, if you want, they want hate you when their adults.

One technique that a couple of my friends have used is to tell the child that "big kids" don't use pacifiers, and to sew the pacifier into a stuffed animal. The child can still feel the pacifier in the doll, and use it as a security device without the sucking.

OP back. Thanks for all the responses. I saw a lot of things that if they got rid of it by 5 there is no damage. Reading some of these stories though I made an appointment with a pediatric dentist to see what he thinks so I can make sure he doesn't think its affecting her jaw or teeth development and pushing them out. I'm terrified of the posters who said they took it away and it was the end of naps. She sleeps 12 hrs at night and at least 2-3 hours for naps. I don't want to lose that but if the dentist thinks its a problem I will!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's why I don't think it should just 100 percent be an issue of the child deciding. Most people (kids included) will "decide" to just keep doing the thing they are already doing for a long time, absent some encouragement or incentive to do something different. That's why we encourage kids to potty train, right? Otherwise, they're not just going to say out of the blue, hey, I'd like to stop going to the bathroom the same way I have for the past two and a half years. Yes, if your kid is having a complete breakdown and your doc says it is ok to leave the paci, by all means take a break and try again in a bit. But I would not say, oh, whenever she decides, and not continue to work on the issue.

Funny, that's exactly what my DD did.

There's a difference between encouragement and forcing a child to do something. I encouraged my child to give up her paci, but I ultimately left it up to her to decide. She made the decision when she was five, and felt very proud of herself for doing so. I see nothing wrong with that.

We're in agreement, then, no? My 2.5 yo said she was ready to use the potty, out of the blue, with some encouragement but no forced training. We're doing the same with the paci. She's starting to talk about giving it up, but we're not going to force her.

I'm in this camp, too. We raised the issue and offered DD encouragement and perhaps slight pressure, but no bribes, ultimatums or cold turkey. Our preference was to let her choose when she was ready, though we gave her regular prompts to consider the issue.

In the end, she was late with giving up the bottle (drank 2 a day until 2.5), the paci (used it to fall asleep until 2.5) and the potty (3 years, 10 months.) And she's just fine. In all cases, when she was ready that was it. No drama, no backsliding. Done.

To each her own. I know many of our friends have a very different philosophy and it works for them. This worked for us. (Our pediatrician and dentist were both fine with it, by the way.)

Extended pacifier use causes a risk of damage to your child's teeth and bite. The Journal of the American Dentist Association found:

Extended pacifier use causes a misalignment of the upper and lower jaws. The roof of the mouth becomes narrower, so there is less room for incoming teeth to fit. The upper teeth start to slant outward, and the bottom teeth tilt inward. This can manifest as an anterior open bite in some children and a posterior crossbite in others. These effects can occur in both the baby teeth and in the permanent teeth if the damage shifts the entire jaw.

Dr. Sears opines that "extended pacifier use can, more likely than not, cause dental problems. The extra pressure exerted during sucking can cause dental malalignment (known as an open bite). Overbites are more common with thumbsucking than with pacifier use, but the risk is still there."

The Mayo Clinic has opined that "prolonged pacifier use might cause a child's top front teeth to slant outward or not come in properly."

Does this mean that it will happen to ever child that uses a pacifier for a prolonged time? No. But medical practitioner have opined that there is risk to dental development, and thus, there is a valid reason to wean from the pacifier. It isn't just something that parents do because they're mean and don't want the child to have a comfort object.

My son just got rid of his. Since he was about 6 months old, he only had it in his room, or the car/plane for long trips. We talked about it the month leading up to his 3rd birthday. A week before the birthday, I cut the tip off, which ruined it for him and meant he wasn't really using it anyway. the pacifier fairty came on the eve of his birthday. he never cried or asked for it, but it's been the death of naps. And he was a serious napper before. I miss those 2-3 hours of quiet to get things done in the house. I kind of wish I had tried a little earlier, when he wasn't so close to the window where kids drop that nap. There are a lot of reasons why I couldn't have done it sooner (new baby, family medical emergency requiring a lot of travel and turmoil, etc.), but I can be wistful about the naps I'd still have if I did.

Anonymous wrote:

My son ADORED his paci. Oh my goodness. What an oral fixation with the damn paci

My son was the same way. We moved when he was 2.5, I couldn't find them when unpacking, and told him that the movers had lost them because I didn't feel like digging through any more boxes. By the time we found them a week later, he had lost interest in them.

I think there's something about that 2.5-3 year mark. Most of them seem to want to give it up on their own.

My son ADORED his paci. Oh my goodness. What an oral fixation with the damn paci

My son was the same way. We moved when he was 2.5, I couldn't find them when unpacking, and told him that the movers had lost them because I didn't feel like digging through any more boxes. By the time we found them a week later, he had lost interest in them.

Anonymous wrote:My son ADORED his paci. Oh my goodness. What an oral fixation with the damn paci. Literally one day he was like "I don't need it anymore" and we were DONE. Kids need it to self-soothe. Don't just take it away. My son is the most stubborn kid and I thought he would have a paci until college (joking, but I was concerned). No joke - gave it up on his own one day.

Move onto bigger worries and let your 2 year old have her paci!

Mine was the same way. One night, maybe 6 weeks before 3rd bday, he handed it to me at bedtime and said "I don't need this". A little remorse a few days later, but that was it. Wasn't ready at 2.5, but just before 3 was a different story. Let her keep it, OP. Trying to take it away makes her think she needs it more.

Anonymous wrote:My son is 23 months and we just got back from his first trip to the dentist. We only use the paci at night, and its always on the floor by morning. The dentist said its pushing his teeth forward and interfering with his palet. She said go cold turkey, immediately.

My pediatrician said the same thing. However, my daughter's teeth are unaffected. They always stayed straight and the new teeth are straight as well.

My son is 23 months and we just got back from his first trip to the dentist. We only use the paci at night, and its always on the floor by morning. The dentist said its pushing his teeth forward and interfering with his palet. She said go cold turkey, immediately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's why I don't think it should just 100 percent be an issue of the child deciding. Most people (kids included) will "decide" to just keep doing the thing they are already doing for a long time, absent some encouragement or incentive to do something different. That's why we encourage kids to potty train, right? Otherwise, they're not just going to say out of the blue, hey, I'd like to stop going to the bathroom the same way I have for the past two and a half years. Yes, if your kid is having a complete breakdown and your doc says it is ok to leave the paci, by all means take a break and try again in a bit. But I would not say, oh, whenever she decides, and not continue to work on the issue.

Funny, that's exactly what my DD did.

There's a difference between encouragement and forcing a child to do something. I encouraged my child to give up her paci, but I ultimately left it up to her to decide. She made the decision when she was five, and felt very proud of herself for doing so. I see nothing wrong with that.

We're in agreement, then, no? My 2.5 yo said she was ready to use the potty, out of the blue, with some encouragement but no forced training. We're doing the same with the paci. She's starting to talk about giving it up, but we're not going to force her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Um, she's really 7 and talks about her paci, interesting.

And?

And no more to it lady, just interesting to me.

What's so interesting, though? Does it somehow negate the child's decision? When she gave up her paci, she took on other habits, such as chewing her hair and putting ransom objects (i.e. choking hazards) in her mouth. When she talks about her paci, she talks about her mouth needing something -- that it feels dry. It seems to me she has a strong oral fixation. I don't see how that would have changed if I had forced the issue when she was younger. She'd probably still talk about her paci.