Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, married almost 8 years and happy, expecting a 3rd kid. I think a lot of the whiners on DCUM are people who rushed into marriage, or ignored major character flaws.

This is so mean and judgmental. And considering you've only been married eight years, I would be very careful saying something like that. Karma might be around the corner, in a year, or five, or ten.

Wow - I agree. You just don't know what's ahead. I totally think that people are too quick to divorce, but it's silly not to acknowledge taht other things can happen aside from rushing into marriage or ignoring flaws. A lot of people go through major rough patches and get through, come out stronger.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, married almost 8 years and happy, expecting a 3rd kid. I think a lot of the whiners on DCUM are people who rushed into marriage, or ignored major character flaws.

This is so mean and judgmental. And considering you've only been married eight years, I would be very careful saying something like that. Karma might be around the corner, in a year, or five, or ten.

Nope, not happy. Divorcing after 15 years of marriage.

Started out happy, but the last five years have been hell.

PP, I found the first year to be tough, and then also the first year of our first child. Maybe because the bloom is off the rose by the second year and the real work of marriage begins? Good luck with your counselling.

I am not near where you all are in marriage years wise but I do have a question for some posters based on their responses.

Some posted that around the 2nd year of marriage things got pretty tough. Well I am there now and it sucks.

Can you elaborate why? Is this normal?

FWIW- we just started counseling.

Married 12 years and happy. Its hard to think of ourselves as a couple sometimes because we are both so busy with work and the kids, but occassionally we find a few minutes and I remember what it was like when it was just the two of us.

We've been together for 12 years and are going strong! We had a rough patch when our two kids were young (0 - 3.5), and those years were truly rough. Friends told me that if we could get through those years we would be golden as it is a bad time for most people. Well we made it through and I am glad I persevered and did not file for divorce at that time because now I cannot imagine not being with my DH and I know he feels the same about me. We are best friends who can sit and talk to each other each evening - and not ONLY about the kids One thing though is even during the bad times we were always physically attracted to each other so I think that helped a lot.

Why do you think this thread is fishy? I think it's uplifting to hear stories of long lasting & happy marriages.

who are you? This smells fishy

We've been married for 22 years and are still going strong! Sure, there have been times when we haven't been each other's favorite person, but through a lot of life's "stuff", we've made it. I have to say we have become much closer since our kids got older (they are now teens), because the kids start doing their own thing and we can go out alone and do our own thing and have fun together; we can be more of a couple again instead of just being someone's parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get so jealous of people who are happily married. I wanted that so badly for myself and yet here I am going through a divorce after 4 horrible years. I keep hope alive by telling myself that I am still young (early 30's) and I can still have a great relationship with someone after this is said and done.

I'm one of the PPs who reported being happy after 8 years, and I was divorced before I met my spouse (we both were), so there's hope for you pp.

Thank you for this. It's very encouraging.

We've been together for 25 years and married for 18. We are still very much in love and truly happy.

Some of the previous posters have mentioned an almost absolute division of labor; we definitely have that and I agree it helps. I manage the household, do all of the cooking and meal planning, pay all the bills and manage our investments, plan all of our social events and vacations. He does all of the physical labor, washes all the dishes, does laundry, maintains the house and property, cleans the litter boxes and more.

We both work full time out of the home in completely different fields so have lots of experiences to bring home and discuss with each other. We tend to sit and chat over tea or dessert at end of the day and usually get in a good 20-30 minutes of talking.

We have a mid-week date night every week and have done since our first child was about 3 months old. We usually go out to dinner with friends, but also sometimes see movies, go shopping for household items or take the chance to work late (if we have to).

We are both equally invested in our children and share raising them 50/50. We spend plenty of time together as a family, put the kids to bed together at night, eat together as a family at dinner 5-6 nights each week.

We are romantically compatible and make an effort to be kind to each other. We do fight but generally end up laughing by the end and always are able to conclude our disagreements within a day or two.

Not sure I have any real advice, but I would say we are both tolerant, loyal and kind to each other.