Anonymous wrote:What about the 24 year old's parents? If this were my daughter I was flip out completely. Dating is one thing. I would hate it but assume it would fizzle out. But marriage?????

My guess is that her father isn't in her life. If he is, he's probably divorced from the mother or abandoned the family when she was a child.

Any takers on that bet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a bunch of bitter old women posting.

46 is not gross. If the guy takes care of himself, he can actually be hot. (Brad Pitt is 48; Clooney is 50; Johnny Depp is 48; Tom Cruise is 49).

Good for this husband! He had a long marriage and raised his kids. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last, but life goes on. I hope he has a fun ride, however long it lasts!!!

He's not done raising his kids. Divorce doesn't equate to dumping your kids.

OK, well he's still raising them. He'll probably be a more easy-going Dad because he sounds like he's living it up. Like I said, good for him!

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a bunch of bitter old women posting.

46 is not gross. If the guy takes care of himself, he can actually be hot. (Brad Pitt is 48; Clooney is 50; Johnny Depp is 48; Tom Cruise is 49).

Good for this husband! He had a long marriage and raised his kids. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last, but life goes on. I hope he has a fun ride, however long it lasts!!!

He's not done raising his kids. Divorce doesn't equate to dumping your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is she hot

Please. What "hot" woman, who presumably has lots of options, would chose a 46 year old man with 3 kids?

A gold digger of course! Or one with daddy issues.

Ding, ding, ding!

OP, your ex is an ass and a little creepy.

My dad was 23 years older than my mom. Yuck yuck. Have no idea why they married but it didn't last. Other than the physical attraction, I don't understand what a 46 year old man would see in a 24 year old woman. Unless he has serious need to control issues. Most 24 year olds are idiots. Naive, unsophisticated, etc, etc. can't imagine finding them remotely interesting. I was the same way at 24. And if you are in your 20's reading this, yes, it's true. Wait til you are in your 40's and you will agree!

So, OP, agree -- very cringe-worthy and be glad you are not involved in that train wreck. If it does end up working out, she'll be in assisted living with him by the time she's 60. And then she might be jealous of you!

pp here and to those who point out the misery of taking care of someone much older: there are no guarantees in this life. Would you prefer having a good solid marriage for 20 years with someone 20 years older than you, or a miserable marriage with someone your age? I know, we all want great marriage with someone our age, but things don't always work out that way. Also, people get sick, get into accidents, so there is no guarantee that just because you married someone your age you won't have at some point to take care of him or he of you. What if he has a stroke at 40? or heart attack? or gets into a bad accident and needs your care? There are just no guarantees in this life.

It does not feel good at a all to feel being "replaced" by someone who is half your age, and if it was me I would be hurt and disappointed. I think your ex is in rebound, I cannot believe he met someone and is getting married so quickly. If anything, this says about the quality of your own marriage: it must have been a good experience for him (while it was good) that he is jumping so fast into it again. On the other hand, I don't think that the age difference is impossible and there cannot be anything real (just based on difference alone) in their feelings or a real chance for things to work out - but I would have more confidence in things working out if your ex got married a few years later rather than so soon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a bunch of bitter old women posting.

46 is not gross. If the guy takes care of himself, he can actually be hot. (Brad Pitt is 48; Clooney is 50; Johnny Depp is 48; Tom Cruise is 49).

Good for this husband! He had a long marriage and raised his kids. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last, but life goes on. I hope he has a fun ride, however long it lasts!!!

Amen. My DH is 18 years older then me - we have a wonderful relationship. Why the assumptions that you'd have nothing in common? Don't get it - why wouldn't you have things in common? We love to do the same things, discuss the same things, and enjoy raising our son together. Not every 46 year old is the same, and not every 24 yo is the same.

When you're 60 and he's 78, I doubt you'll feel the same way. You'll retire just in time to wipe his drool. Good luck enjoying the golden years.

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of the time, the young woman grows up to find out that the "man" is actually very immature and disappointing.

Yes-- this is what I'd expect of a middle-aged man pursuing a young woman. He may have learned a few tricks wrt. demonstrating "gentlemanly" behavior for the sake of the favors this will purchase for him (which a PP said sets old guys apart from men her own age), but there's something very wrong about his selecting a partner who can't be his equal.

OP, most of the time, the young woman grows up to find out that the "man" is actually very immature and disappointing.

Anonymous wrote:What about the 24 year old's parents? If this were my daughter I was flip out completely. Dating is one thing. I would hate it but assume it would fizzle out. But marriage?????

She's an adult, what do you propose they do to her? Ground her? Take away her car keys?

What about the 24 year old's parents? If this were my daughter I was flip out completely. Dating is one thing. I would hate it but assume it would fizzle out. But marriage?????

Once upon a time I very briefly dated or was courted by a 51 yo man. He was very tall, handsome (George Clooney), powerful, charming, and always treated me like a very special woman. To a 22 year old girl tired of immature boys that played games and cheated on me this guy was a breath of fresh air. I still think that in a different place and time and ages we would have been meant for each other, but it wasn't in the cards.

That being said as a wife and Mom I do cringe for you OP, sorry .

When I was 25, I got married and gained a 7 year old SD.

Eight years later, I am a good stepparent, and am not tired of it (anymore than a regular parent would be - ha!)

Maybe they are in love. Its good that she added the qualifier of "if your mom says its ok" to the bikini. Realize your kids might push your buttons a bit with this. You might not be getting the full story all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a bunch of bitter old women posting.

46 is not gross. If the guy takes care of himself, he can actually be hot. (Brad Pitt is 48; Clooney is 50; Johnny Depp is 48; Tom Cruise is 49).

Good for this husband! He had a long marriage and raised his kids. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last, but life goes on. I hope he has a fun ride, however long it lasts!!!

Amen. My DH is 18 years older then me - we have a wonderful relationship. Why the assumptions that you'd have nothing in common? Don't get it - why wouldn't you have things in common? We love to do the same things, discuss the same things, and enjoy raising our son together. Not every 46 year old is the same, and not every 24 yo is the same.

Are you turned on by changing his diapers? Does getting intimate without his dentures in spice things up?