Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:32     Subject: Re:I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:Why are you part of a religion (or insert organization) where women are second to men? Do you believe that men are superior or in charge of women? If so, why?

All three Abrahamic faiths see women as inferior or subordinate. That doesn't mean it has to be practiced that way today.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:32     Subject: Re:I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:Why are you part of a religion (or insert organization) where women are second to men? Do you believe that men are superior or in charge of women? If so, why?



Not OP but Another Muslim poster: I don't believe that Islam considers women to be second to men. If I have been treated inferior to men it is because of cultural ignorance brought about by non-islamic cultures. . I don't think men are superior to women nor are they in charge of me. My father is not in charge of me, my husband is not, neither are my brothers or my sons. I am me an independent person.


However I believe in nature vs. nurture and I don't believe that men and women are equal as in they can do anything the other person can. My thought is that yes we can try to do things the opposite sex can and some people will achieve mastery in that area (for example let's say combat) however I think that nature trumps nurture and so in that way men and women are not equal. That however is a personal belief and not based on religion in any way.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:28     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about the Muslim husband's ability to divorce his wife by saying "I divorce thee" three times. He also gets the kids.

Also, a woman's word is worth 1/2 a man's in court, and she inherits 1/2 as much as her brothers. This is definitely an improvement over pre-Islamic Arabia, however.

These are in the Koran, I believe, and not cultural.



Not OP but Another Muslim poster: A man is supposed to take time between saying I divorce three times in order to get a divorce not all at once as many people mistakenly practice and/or suggest it. A woman can initiate divorce proceedings also. A man gets the kids at the age of 7 for boys and at the age of puberty for girls. For boys the man gets them because sons need their fathers to help shape them into being men (not saying women can't do it but just presenting a general idea that typically in the teenage years fathers tend to have a better understanding and control over boys) They get custody of the girls so as to prevent the girls from living in a situation where there can be inappropriate physical contact between the girls and other men either because of molestation or because of attraction (like between step-siblings). Men also technically get custody because it is their obligation to financially provide for the children however this does not mean that a mother is denied custody. There can be joint custody and many other situations that are mutually worked out. I am a product of divorce and lived with my mother until I went to college.

A woman's word is worth 1/2 because the nature of a woman is thought to be compassionate and reasonable then men and so their heart can be more easily appealed to and that is why it takes two women to 1 man so that they can be more rational. In modern and more progressive instances, these days even the word of 1 woman is accepted. Women inherit half as her brothers because no one other than she has a right to her inheritance... not her kids or her husband whereas a man's inheritance his children and wife have a right to share in it. The same goes for income.


DOesn't mean that things are practiced this way or that these hold true for all instances but these are the reasons behind these rulings.




Not OP but Another Muslim poster: Also just wanted to add that all these rules regarding testimony and divorce etc are all applicable only in places where true sharia law is practiced. And by that I don't mean the Sharia law that is espoused by political candidates to invoke fear- it means the Islamic way of life as the Prophet achieved with the Muslims in his time. There is no country in the world that currently truly practices Sharia law. Therefore in modern times many of these things seem alien but in a truly Islamic society they would not be. For instance the law of cutting of the hand for a their can't be applied when the ruling government (secular or otherwise) is starving their people and not taking care of them because it's not an Islamic society.
One of the requirements on a Muslim living in a non-muslim or any country is to abide by the laws of the country. So Muslims in America have to, by Islamic rules and law, follow the rules of America unless there is a law that directly contradicts with an Islamic ruling (which I can't think of) in which case the Sheikh's or the Mufti's would rule on how to handle that situation.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:27     Subject: Re:I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Why are you part of a religion (or insert organization) where women are second to men? Do you believe that men are superior or in charge of women? If so, why?
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:25     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Another point re inheritance. A woman's money is her own and she is never obligated to pay for anything. A man, however, is always obligated to provide for relatives. It is assumed with his greater share if the inheritance he will be providing for women in his family who need care and shelter, like unmarried or widowed sisters.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:22     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about the Muslim husband's ability to divorce his wife by saying "I divorce thee" three times. He also gets the kids.

Also, a woman's word is worth 1/2 a man's in court, and she inherits 1/2 as much as her brothers. This is definitely an improvement over pre-Islamic Arabia, however.

These are in the Koran, I believe, and not cultural.


Big misconception. The mother gets the young kids in all schools of Sunni Islam. She is considered the fittest parent. Custody can switch at the age of reason (7 or so) or puberty, when the children get to decide. I think Hanafi school says the daughter will go to the father at puberty. Some schools forbid the mother from marrying again though, or she may lose custody.


I don't believe the children get to decide. It's the father who gets the kids after they are no longer little.


Not under Islam itself. Different Islamic countries can and have changed the laws, though.

http://www.islamic-sharia.org/children/islamic-perspective-on-child-custody-after-divorce.html
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:21     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about the Muslim husband's ability to divorce his wife by saying "I divorce thee" three times. He also gets the kids.

Also, a woman's word is worth 1/2 a man's in court, and she inherits 1/2 as much as her brothers. This is definitely an improvement over pre-Islamic Arabia, however.

These are in the Koran, I believe, and not cultural.



Not OP but Another Muslim poster: A man is supposed to take time between saying I divorce three times in order to get a divorce not all at once as many people mistakenly practice and/or suggest it. A woman can initiate divorce proceedings also. A man gets the kids at the age of 7 for boys and at the age of puberty for girls. For boys the man gets them because sons need their fathers to help shape them into being men (not saying women can't do it but just presenting a general idea that typically in the teenage years fathers tend to have a better understanding and control over boys) They get custody of the girls so as to prevent the girls from living in a situation where there can be inappropriate physical contact between the girls and other men either because of molestation or because of attraction (like between step-siblings). Men also technically get custody because it is their obligation to financially provide for the children however this does not mean that a mother is denied custody. There can be joint custody and many other situations that are mutually worked out. I am a product of divorce and lived with my mother until I went to college.

A woman's word is worth 1/2 because the nature of a woman is thought to be compassionate and reasonable then men and so their heart can be more easily appealed to and that is why it takes two women to 1 man so that they can be more rational. In modern and more progressive instances, these days even the word of 1 woman is accepted. Women inherit half as her brothers because no one other than she has a right to her inheritance... not her kids or her husband whereas a man's inheritance his children and wife have a right to share in it. The same goes for income.


DOesn't mean that things are practiced this way or that these hold true for all instances but these are the reasons behind these rulings.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:19     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about the Muslim husband's ability to divorce his wife by saying "I divorce thee" three times. He also gets the kids.

Also, a woman's word is worth 1/2 a man's in court, and she inherits 1/2 as much as her brothers. This is definitely an improvement over pre-Islamic Arabia, however.

These are in the Koran, I believe, and not cultural.


Big misconception. The mother gets the young kids in all schools of Sunni Islam. She is considered the fittest parent. Custody can switch at the age of reason (7 or so) or puberty, when the children get to decide. I think Hanafi school says the daughter will go to the father at puberty. Some schools forbid the mother from marrying again though, or she may lose custody.


I don't believe the children get to decide. It's the father who gets the kids after they are no longer little.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:16     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about the Muslim husband's ability to divorce his wife by saying "I divorce thee" three times. He also gets the kids.

Also, a woman's word is worth 1/2 a man's in court, and she inherits 1/2 as much as her brothers. This is definitely an improvement over pre-Islamic Arabia, however.

These are in the Koran, I believe, and not cultural.


Big misconception. The mother gets the young kids in all schools of Sunni Islam. She is considered the fittest parent. Custody can switch at the age of reason (7 or so) or puberty, when the children get to decide. I think Hanafi school says the daughter will go to the father at puberty. Some schools forbid the mother from marrying again though, or she may lose custody.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:11     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:Why (according to All-American Muslim) are IVF and other reproductive technology discouraged?

Are you expected to have a lot of kids? How many is customary?



Not OP but Another Muslim poster: Sperm donation is not allowed because lineage is very important in Islam.
Other reproductive technologies are allowed- however some people believe that not being able to have a child is considered a trial from Allah and so they may discourage it on that basis.

You are expected to have kids... no number is required by Islam. Any number or preference is strictly cultural.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:09     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
How do you feel about the Muslim husband's ability to divorce his wife by saying "I divorce thee" three times. He also gets the kids.

Also, a woman's word is worth 1/2 a man's in court, and she inherits 1/2 as much as her brothers. This is definitely an improvement over pre-Islamic Arabia, however.

These are in the Koran, I believe, and not cultural.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:08     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:Is there a basis in the Koran for it being ok to wear makeup but requiring hair to be covered? I've seen several muslim women wearing headscarves with really terrific makeup on, it looked nice but I didn't understand how it was consistent.


Not OP but Another Muslim poster: nope it's not consistent... you're not supposed to beautify and attract attention in any way... everyone interprets that in a different way. I don't think wearing makeup (natural looking) is attracting attention but a headscarf is and so i don't wear a scarf.. other women feel differently about the subject. The Quran encourages modesty and has different rules for it. As always people interpret them differently. But a truly conservative person would say that a scarf with makeup in public is not allowed!
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:06     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Halal meat tastes much better. 8)
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:06     Subject: Re:I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:Are you required to walk behind, not astride, with your husband? How do you discipline your children? Is physical punishment of children the norm? Are husbands allowed to strike their wives?



Not OP but Another Muslim poster: Nope these are all cultural things.

I discipline my kids using many of the parenting techniques most american parents are trying nowadays- I have read the faber and mazlish books/ gaimott/ 1-2-3 magic/ happiest toddler etc. I have spanked my kids and slapped their hand in anger when I haven't been able to control myself but that is something that I am working on. I don't think spanking is wrong but it is for something truly egregious and intentional that my kids would get spanked not for insignificant reasons but i was spanked as a child... Again this is cultural not religious.

Anything related to hitting--- is all cultural! Islam does not sanction hitting.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2012 22:05     Subject: I'm a Muslim. Ask me anything!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does Islam impose a higher moral standard for how you treat other Muslims than for how you treat non-Muslims?


Not OP but Another Muslim poster: nope- a person is a person.


My grad school friend's roommate wouldn't shake my hand because as a non-believer I was unclean. I thought there were special tax rules and protected statuses for People of the Book vs. atheists and polytheists, too?


Was the Muslim a man or a woman? What are you? Muslims aren't supposed to shake hands of the opposite sex, but it has nothing to do with being unclean.

Muslims pay zakat.
Christians and Jews living in an Islamic state paid jizyah. Muslim rulers in India extended the tax on Hindus and Sikhs. I don't know if it exists anywhere today.