NotSoAnonymous wrote:Q:, I have a young child and my husband and I would totally want to be friends with you if we knew you in real life because you seem nice!

A: well thanks! I am pretty nice; my mama raised me right. To the poster who asked if you just would want to be friends b/c I am gay, I am desperate enough for friends I don't know that I'd care so long as we had other things in common. Hell, I want more straight friends so that my kids see mother/father families. Does that make me a hypocrit?

Not the other PP but you are, obviously, a lovely person and I can't imagine why anyone would not want to be friends.

I once worked with a man once who was so paranoid about an openly gay colleague making a pass at him that he came to my office (HR) several times to tell me about his fears. For all I know, he may have been a closet gay but his fears were real. Have you encountered any straight women who are terrified that you might be interested in them and they shy away from you.

When the above colleague first shared his fears with me, I countered back, "Now you know how women feel, don't you, so stop making passes at us."

Not a question, but you seem like a very smart, together person. I bet your kids will grow up to be very interesting and cool.

Q:Why do you think that straight men often have more of a problem with homosexuality than straight women?

A: In a word- sexism. The idea that gay men are effeminate and that gay women need a good lay. That percieved femininity in men is bad and perceived masculinity in women is an affront. I could go on. There are plenty of viruntly anti gay women though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think that straight men often have more of a problem with homosexuality than straight women?

Why are you asking the OP? She's not a man.

She said ask anything.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think that straight men often have more of a problem with homosexuality than straight women?

Why are you asking the OP? She's not a man.

Why do you think that straight men often have more of a problem with homosexuality than straight women?

Oh, and no Subaru. Can't afford it. Sigh.

Q:I am a Christian. I believe that practicing homosexuality is a sin. I also believe that adultery and fornication is a sin. It doesn't mean that I hate gays, adulterers and/or fornicators. I can be friends with someone while I disagree with how their choose to live their life. I'm not passing judgment, I just don't support certain acts. Why is this considered homophobia? I don't dislike gays and I certainly don't want to harm them. While I don't agree with gay marriage, I understand that it is necessary in order to grant gays equal rights. While I have my religious views on things, I would never want this to be used as an instrument to oppress.

I will say that I find it frustrating that some gay people are quick to throw out the homophobic and/or bigot label. In many cases, it's not true and only serves to create animosity. My own mother is an active fornicator and my stepfather an adulterer! I don't agree with the way they live their lives...Does this mean I harbor hatred for them? Of course not.

A: I do understand what you are saying. So long as you don't legislate against me I suppose I would get over it like I do with other members of my family. In my experience people who share your belief system not only do not believe in equal rights for me but actively fight against it with a tenacity they do not give to the problem of adulterers or fornicators.

I find it personally hurtful that you'd have me live a loveless life - not acting on my innate sexuality, but I agree you have the right to those views.

Q: If you are on your kids birth certificates how do you not have any legal right to them?

A: I am not a lawyer. As I understand it, a birth certificate is a state document and other states do not have to recognize it but adoption carries across state lines. I do wish I understood it better as it seems like the full faith and credit clause should cover it, but I think that about marriage too.

NotSoAnonymous wrote:Q: What I mean by my second question is: Do you think everyone should think homosexuality is ok? Are you okay with people having an opinion that differs (finds homosexuality wrong, sinful, etc)? Do you believe that not agreeing with homosexuality equals homophobia?

re: civil unions (not civil marriage) As it stands civil unions are not equal. My question is, IF laws are changed and civil unions are given the same recognition as marriage, would you be okay with that?

A: I suppose I would appreciate not being thought of as being wrong or being a sinner for something that is as natural to me as the color of my eyes. I do believe that not agreeing with homosexuality is homophobia. There is nothing to agree or disagree about. I simply am. I do understand that some people's belief systems do not agree with that fact, and I struggle because there are so many other things in this secular world to focus on- the hungry, poor, criminals, etc. I just would ask why how I live my life is so important to you?

And no. That is segregation. The law does not allow for that. I thought we had learned that lesson.

I am a Christian. I believe that practicing homosexuality is a sin. I also believe that adultery and fornication is a sin. It doesn't mean that I hate gays, adulterers and/or fornicators. I can be friends with someone while I disagree with how their choose to live their life. I'm not passing judgment, I just don't support certain acts. Why is this considered homophobia? I don't dislike gays and I certainly don't want to harm them. While I don't agree with gay marriage, I understand that it is necessary in order to grant gays equal rights. While I have my religious views on things, I would never want this to be used as an instrument to oppress.

I will say that I find it frustrating that some gay people are quick to throw out the homophobic and/or bigot label. In many cases, it's not true and only serves to create animosity. My own mother is an active fornicator and my stepfather an adulterer! I don't agree with the way they live their lives...Does this mean I harbor hatred for them? Of course not.

If you are on your kids birth certificates how do you not have any legal right to them?

Q: What I mean by my second question is: Do you think everyone should think homosexuality is ok? Are you okay with people having an opinion that differs (finds homosexuality wrong, sinful, etc)? Do you believe that not agreeing with homosexuality equals homophobia?

re: civil unions (not civil marriage) As it stands civil unions are not equal. My question is, IF laws are changed and civil unions are given the same recognition as marriage, would you be okay with that?

A: I suppose I would appreciate not being thought of as being wrong or being a sinner for something that is as natural to me as the color of my eyes. I do believe that not agreeing with homosexuality is homophobia. There is nothing to agree or disagree about. I simply am. I do understand that some people's belief systems do not agree with that fact, and I struggle because there are so many other things in this secular world to focus on- the hungry, poor, criminals, etc. I just would ask why how I live my life is so important to you?

And no. That is segregation. The law does not allow for that. I thought we had learned that lesson.

NotSoAnonymous wrote:Q: OP, where are you from? Are you in a gay friendly community now?

It is not easy to make friends here. Most of the of the people I know are "closed". The people I know who are actually from here are over the top nosy and "what can you do for me". All in all, the area is unhealthily competitive, not the good kind. It brings people to drastic measures (including feigned ignorance) because of the jealousy. It really sucks. Any opportunity to dig at you. Mind you this is not everyone I know.


A: I am from small town Midwest. Not even a little gay friendly. I live in Virginia now (I know, I know- but I wanted affordable good schools for my kid!!). My neighborhood is diverse but as far as I know we are the only gay family. Making friends at this age is HARD.

We are thinking of joining a UU congregation in Arlington. It's near us, right now it's hard with the little ones. We don't stay at home.

Also a lesbian couple with kids (more than you, OP). All our friends are from PTA, The places our kids take classes and the local swimming pool. We don't have any gay couples in our neighborhood either. And despite the fact that we know tons of gay couples with kids, we never seem to socialize with them. Our connections are primarily through our kids.

NotSoAnonymous wrote:Q: Are you tolerant about someone's religious views?
Do you feel like everyone should accept how you live your life?
Would you be okay with all gays being granted civil unions if they are allowed the same rights as marriage?
If granted the right to marry, do you think churches should be forced to perform these ceremonies?
How did you feel about the lesbian who was denied communion at her mother's funeral?

A: I am extremely tolerant of varied religious views until those views impinge on my rights as an American citizen.

I find your next question to be so odd. I don't spend my days looking at people around me and thinking about whether or not I accept their ways of life. I suppose you only need accept my right to the same respect, dignity, and set of rights as a citizen as yourself.

I believe civil unions are separate but equal. We tried that once. I would not be opposed to civil marriage for all and religious marriage for those churches which allow it. Churches are not currently forced to marry any two people who walk through their doors with a license. That should not change.

I think the communion thing is sad. It was her Mother's funeral. Who knows which other sinners were getting communion?? That said, I was raised Catholic and I have many friend and family who are Catholic.

What I mean by my second question is: Do you think everyone should think homosexuality is ok? Are you okay with people having an opinion that differs (finds homosexuality wrong, sinful, etc)? Do you believe that not agreeing with homosexuality equals homophobia?

re: civil unions (not civil marriage) As it stands civil unions are not equal. My question is, IF laws are changed and civil unions are given the same recognition as marriage, would you be okay with that?

Do you own a Subaru?