Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 21:12     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly it gets a little old hearing people talk about how they needed to live their lives before having a kid at 40. You will likely die before your child is finished needing you, and not really get to have much of an experience with grandchildren. Kinda selfish to keep saying me, me, me, I traveled!! Think it, fine, but no one is impressed. You should be less worried about your energy level than the fact that you will probably miss out on a lot of DC's life, and may saddle the kid with an aging parent while he/she has young children. Just sayin', save the "I lived, and that's what's important" crap.



Wow - what a "mature" response from a young parent!

LOL!

Get over yourself.

Shit happens, fool, and you deal. Not everyone gets knocked up at 23 (or 15, according to the PP). I had no interventions - had both as one-shot deals at 37 and 41. Do you think I should regret having them so "late" in life? They're great kids who are happy and have everything they need. They attend private, which we can afford b/c we're so goddamn old, according to you, and they have activities and friends to keep them occupied. And even I have energy to take them to the park!! Imagine that! I'm 45!

I don't understand the venom, PP. Are you jealous? I work PT, have a nanny, and and OLD mother (75 - God forbid she should still drive) who steps in when there's a conflict in our schedules, as we both work.

And guess what? I have my summers off! So I'm with my children - no need for camp!!!!!

I have a good life for an old gal, no? I'm healthy, in pretty good shape (despite some urinary incontinence), and energetic.

And b/c we're so fucking old, we invested in long-term healthcare. Does that make you happy? At least my kids won't be wiping my ass and changing my diapers in the next few years.

You make me laugh, PP. You must be incredibly insecure to post such inane comments.

yawn . . . Get some rest; tomorrow is another day.


75 is not so old. Thankfully, your mom had you at age 30, therefore she is able to be around for her grandkids now.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 20:54     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:I was reading the "how do you see yourself when you are elderly" thread and it just dawned on me that I will be 58 when you youngest child hits 18 (goes off to college). If they follow my lead in terms of when they have children I will be 70 before I see a grandchild. I am already having a hard time dealing with a 2yo - not becasue of low energy or anything like that - I just dont want to be bothered with the usual toddler drama. I am hoping its just a phase but I really wish that my kids were teenagers already - why did I wait so long.


No, this means you will be 80, right? 40+40
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 20:32     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly it gets a little old hearing people talk about how they needed to live their lives before having a kid at 40. You will likely die before your child is finished needing you, and not really get to have much of an experience with grandchildren. Kinda selfish to keep saying me, me, me, I traveled!! Think it, fine, but no one is impressed. You should be less worried about your energy level than the fact that you will probably miss out on a lot of DC's life, and may saddle the kid with an aging parent while he/she has young children. Just sayin', save the "I lived, and that's what's important" crap.



Wow - what a "mature" response from a young parent!

LOL!

Get over yourself.

Shit happens, fool, and you deal. Not everyone gets knocked up at 23 (or 15, according to the PP). I had no interventions - had both as one-shot deals at 37 and 41. Do you think I should regret having them so "late" in life? They're great kids who are happy and have everything they need. They attend private, which we can afford b/c we're so goddamn old, according to you, and they have activities and friends to keep them occupied. And even I have energy to take them to the park!! Imagine that! I'm 45!

I don't understand the venom, PP. Are you jealous? I work PT, have a nanny, and and OLD mother (75 - God forbid she should still drive) who steps in when there's a conflict in our schedules, as we both work.

And guess what? I have my summers off! So I'm with my children - no need for camp!!!!!

I have a good life for an old gal, no? I'm healthy, in pretty good shape (despite some urinary incontinence), and energetic.

And b/c we're so fucking old, we invested in long-term healthcare. Does that make you happy? At least my kids won't be wiping my ass and changing my diapers in the next few years.

You make me laugh, PP. You must be incredibly insecure to post such inane comments.

yawn . . . Get some rest; tomorrow is another day.


just wanted to note that having kids in your forties is late, not "late." you are an older mom. own it.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 20:19     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
17:15 here. Just wanted to say thanks to 17:32 & 19:33 for your kind words. It has not always been easy, but it's definitely been an interesting ride. I realize that I am incredibly lucky to not only have a supportive family, but also to have managed to find a man that stuck by me and is very focused on providing a good life for his family. We sometimes have little "look at us now" moments and I'm always so proud of my husband. His father was out of the home and not the best, so I'm so glad that, despite growing up with a single Mom, he turned out to be such a great Dad and husband.

19:33, the story about your friend gives me hope. Although you can never tell what kids will do (I'm a perfect example..no one suspected because I was such a bookworm!), I believe that my children are on the right path. My oldest is an honor student and will be off to college in 2013. Fortunately for me, she's not interested in having a boyfriend (she is a bit socially awkward...both a curse and a blessing for me as a Mom!).

Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 20:08     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Have them young
You will have the energy to run with them in the park and kick a ball
Menopause and a preschool kid, when you want a Sunday afternoon sleep is not that romantic
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 19:33     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"My parents (who were separated) were upset, but not overly so."

Did they know you were dating at 13? Did they teach you about birth control? Did you receive any public assistance, food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, etc.?


LOL....Aren't you the inquisitive one?

-No, my mother didn't know I was "dating". I used to skip school early and hang out at my husband's place (while his Mom worked) or at his sister's (who was older and also WOH). I was an "A" student, so my grades never suffered. I probably only skipped school every other week or so...if that often.

-No, my mother didn't want to talk about birth control. I was 13, so I guess she imagined she had time. I did tell her "Mom, I'm ready", but it was very casual and she gave me a "Yeah right" response. I, also, for some really weird reason, wanted a baby. My husband (BF at the time) and I were somehow convinced that we wanted a baby and we took no precautions to prevent pregnancy. Of course, as soon as I had the "I really don't need a baby right now" epiphany, I realized I was pregnant.

-I lived in public housing until I moved out with my husband (then BF) at 19. My mother was on welfare while I was growing up and thinking back, I'm almost positive that I rec'd aid for my daughter for at least a year (through my mother's benefits). Pretty sure we were on Medicaid too. I've been working since the age of 16 and was making $25k at 19 when I moved out. Have never rec'd any other form of assistance since I was 18 years old. We are comfortably middle-class.


Your maturity is light years ahead of the older ladies posting on here.

I have a very good friend like you who was a teen mom (same at you, mom at 14) and she is an amazing person and great mother. Her start was rocky, but her oldest is off to UVA next year-I'm so impressed!
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 19:25     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:such a weird area we live in (McLean), we're younger in our 30s with toddlers, besides the the obvious trophy wives or second wives with the original kids all the moms are old as shit.


LMAO tell me about it. I go to Mom's Group meetups and show up seeing a bunch of women MY mother's age. I mean good for them, but seriously, what do I have in common with these women besides our kids' ages.

I am 27, one toddler, done. I realize that's extremely young for this area and I'm sure people look at me like I'm a Teen Mom. I am glad that I got it out of the way and went through pregnancy when I was young and fit and bounced right back. I do have lots of energy for my DC. But I also worry that, unlike a lot of older moms, I don't have the patience that would really benefit my DC that I'd have if I were a late 30s mom. Those women really just don't give a shit. They'll sit there for hours waiting for their DC to quit dawdling. I'm too impatient.

Had I known *just how dramatic* the shift in life would be upon having a kid (I know people tell you but come on, there's just no way to know until you have one) I definitely might have waited longer. I do like the idea of my DC being graduated and out of my house when I'm only in my early 40s. It's possible I missed out on some life experiences and selfishness by having a child in my mid 20s, so maybe I'll just use that time to catch up.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 19:16     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:such a weird area we live in (McLean), we're younger in our 30s with toddlers, besides the the obvious trophy wives or second wives with the original kids all the moms are old as shit.
What else would you expect in McLean?
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 19:14     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
such a weird area we live in (McLean), we're younger in our 30s with toddlers, besides the the obvious trophy wives or second wives with the original kids all the moms are old as shit.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 18:56     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
OK LADIES, some of you are pretending that you chose to have kids in your 40s. Not true, this was what life dictated to you. It took you awhile to find the right mate and that is OK.

I've been around long enough on this planet to know that women get pretty frantic if they are in their 30s and solidly single. I have many a depressed friend in her late 30s with no man in sight and the hormones for a baby kicking in hard. One such friend did it on her own via IVF. Don't disguise it all with your globe trotting escapades and riches.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 18:19     Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?


What is your point? My husband and I have now been married for 10 years; we've been together since I was 13. Should I call the police and have him arrested now?

I teach my children the same thing that you hopefully teach yours: to abstain from sex until they are married/in a committed relationship.



As a high school teacher who has taught many pregnant teens, this is just so wrong on so many levels.

shudder


As a high school teacher, is this your best response? Or do you get off on being vague?

I too was waiting for at least a proffer of a pearl of wisdom on talking with our teens about sex.


Wait a moment . . .Are you expecting teachers to train parents in how to discuss sex with their teens? Isn't that YOUR job? If so, you're pathetic and need to at least drop in our health classes. Our health teacher is exemplary, by the way.

So the high school teacher "shudders" at the poor advice yet offers none of her own? Then the high school student comes to her rescue by saying the teachers don't TRAIN the parents? Basically it's put up or shut up. Now go do your homework.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 18:12     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
I have a bit of a double whammy I met my DH at 32, married him at 34 and had our first at 35. While I did a lot and saw the world I did not do it with DH and he did not do as much fun as I did (other than screwing around, of course). While I dont regret starting with kids at 35 I regret that I did not meet my DH earlier and travel with him and have some real couple years before we had children. I think that it hurt our marriage that we did not have a lot of couple memories to look back on during those hard "baby years". Also, now he wants to do the things that I have zero interest in bc they are not kid friendly (trip to south of France) and bc I have BTDT and want to now focus on the kids. Its tough but we do our best to muddle through.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 18:11     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
DD developed early and went boy crazy at age 12. My #1 priority for years was that she not reproduce with the wrong person at the wrong time. DH, as usual, was a total ass about this.

She is now 28; mission accomplished!
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 18:02     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
I'll be 60 when my one and only turns 18. So yeah, I wish I had him earlier but DH and I had a lot of fun prekid
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2012 17:56     Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Soooooo glad that I started at 26 and was done by the time I was thirty!!!!

I'm a hot mom, my career is Kickass and I will be around to see the grandchildren.