Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

A few lessons here:

1.Women are bat shit crazy. Try your hardest to find a job working for a man. This thread makes me think that maybe women are not emotionally stable enough to work outside the home.

2. Not ALL women are nuts (but most are). I'm a working mom and a hiring manager and I have no problem about a candidate mentioning their family. We don't live in 1959 any longer.

3. See #1

Women are not crazy. There actually aren't many people in this thread that I think have gone off the rails? Could you point to an example? The only assholes I see are the men who drove by and dropped sexist comments...like yours.

Do you have problems with literacy? Or are you really that obtuse?

What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

Drive by man here. "CRAZY"!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

A few lessons here:

1.Women are bat shit crazy. Try your hardest to find a job working for a man. This thread makes me think that maybe women are not emotionally stable enough to work outside the home.

2. Not ALL women are nuts (but most are). I'm a working mom and a hiring manager and I have no problem about a candidate mentioning their family. We don't live in 1959 any longer.

3. See #1

great post

You, Numbers Lady, are a prime example of your own "bat shit" description.

Thanks for proving your own point in such a succinct manner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

A few lessons here:

1.Women are bat shit crazy. Try your hardest to find a job working for a man. This thread makes me think that maybe women are not emotionally stable enough to work outside the home.

2. Not ALL women are nuts (but most are). I'm a working mom and a hiring manager and I have no problem about a candidate mentioning their family. We don't live in 1959 any longer.

3. See #1

Women are not crazy. There actually aren't many people in this thread that I think have gone off the rails? Could you point to an example? The only assholes I see are the men who drove by and dropped sexist comments...like yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

So different on so many levels.

It's not really different.

only here who also helped to care for my father

We hired help, which is what you do when you have kids. You find someone to care for them in your absence. I worked, helped with Dad until he died, and had a combo nanny/preschool for my kids.

What's the difference? You need to set limits to keep yourself sane and you must have priorities. Sometimes priorities change from week to week. If Dad's ill, we may not have time to schedule a weekend playdate. Or I may need to keep my kids in aftercare if Dad's at the hospital. And my husband had to step it up big time during those awful years.

Despite the difficulties, I never once thought of leaving my job. It kept me stable b/c it was MY time to work on projects I enjoyed.

And if I ever applied to another position, why would I bring up any of my personal/home issues? No, there's no gap to account for in my resume, but home life is home life. If you can't get that together, then you really have no business working outside of the home. That's my thought.

Embittered hag (aka working mother) here: I haven't read all these posts, but I'd probably disagree with one suggestion about playing up volunteer work - I'd only suggest doing so if it's relevant to the job or in some other way demonstrates qualifications that you want to stress. I'm not impressed when I hear that from SAHMs who are talking about the school auction. I think it's wonderful that they do that, but as a working mother who finds time/ways to volunteer at the school even while holding down a job, I either chuckle or roll my eyes at the moms who complain at the bus stop about how busy they are with the school auction.

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

A few lessons here:

1.Women are bat shit crazy. Try your hardest to find a job working for a man. This thread makes me think that maybe women are not emotionally stable enough to work outside the home.

2. Not ALL women are nuts (but most are). I'm a working mom and a hiring manager and I have no problem about a candidate mentioning their family. We don't live in 1959 any longer.

3. See #1

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

NP. It's not contempt, but I think that perhaps after 10 yrs out of the workforce you may be a bit out of touch. I don't think you need to explain yourself in an interview (if you did it in the cover letter). The less you mention about it, the less the interviewer will focus on it. That's been stated multiple times.

I have children. I never mention them in an interview. It's simply not relevant, and nobody's business. You can't be asked about them, but since you mention it, you open the door.

Also, it really depends somewhat on the industry. Mine is very male dominated, and with an older workforce. It'd be career suicide for me to start discussing children during an interview process. I've interviewed plenty of women who want to try to "bond" with me (the sole femail interviewer outside of HR) over children, but it doesn't work. And if someone does make comments along the lines of "I chose to raise my children", the unspoken implication is that I'm not raising mine. Of course that doesn't make one kindly disposed towards the person that said it.

I have no problems hiring women with children, or former SAHMs (in theory--in reality I think re-entry into my industry is virtually impossible due to the changeover in technology). I just think you have to be careful during the interview process, and know your industry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

wow, someone is very defensive about their choices.

Sounds like you all are. Wow, 6 pages of responses in a few hours.

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

wow, someone is very defensive about their choices.

Anonymous wrote:SAHMs who say those things turn me off, too, as a potential employer. Unless you had mitigating circumstances, don't you think that I, too, as a mother struggled with work-life blame/childcare issues? It's not the WOTH moms who are belittling, its the SAHMs who say that stuff.

TA!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm ashamed to be a working mom right now, you people SUCK. Nasty and mean spirited...can't help, but think that many of these posts come from a place of deep insecurity.

You don't work. Don't lie.

Yes, I do. How else would I have so much time to spend on this site?

Anonymous wrote:"This PP yet again. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone asked about my childcare plans. And your last question is just silly. I went back to work because I wanted to and was a great fit for the job, not for the money (obviously, we could afford for me to stay home so it wasn't about $$.) Of course I explained the reasons why I was getting back to work in the interview--why wouldn't I?"

Why did you go back after 11 years if not for the extra cash? You know, we all work for money if we have paid jobs.

Former SAHM again. I don't mean this in a snarky way--I am sincerely confused. Do you not understand that there are lots of reasons to work other than money? I went back because I felt like it was time, I was ready to, my kids are older, and a great opportunity presented itself in my field, at an agency I like for a cause I feel strongly about; so I went back to "save the world," so to speak. This particular opportunity wasn't likely to open up again at this organization, so I struck while the iron was hot.

To another PP who asked: yes, I work full-time, and for a non-profit. I'm in the same general field as I was in before leaving, but a different organization.

Op I get what you were trying to say, but you come off as very defensive.
Her answers were not a personal attack on you or your choices, and most likely will have no bearing on her job performance.
Luckily I work for a very supportive female boss who *gets* the work/life balance and actually encourages me to spend great time with my kids, and doesn't expect me to pretend I am not a mom as well as an employee
Hopefully as you mature you will become more supportive of other women and their choices