I've hosted a lot over the years, mostly pre-kids. I have a reputation for throwing good parties with good food. And I tend to notice that there are a number of people who never host and reciprocate. They always have an excuse, my house is too far, my house is too small, yada, yada, yada. But they accept every invitation and pig out everywhere they go. I have other friends who also have those excuses and what do they do? They coordinate with friends and when a friend hosts, they bring a big entree or they bring good wine to share. They still reciprocate, even if in a lesser manner. And when the cheap ones, the former group, finally do host, they host without food. And it isn't just the money. These are people who always have the latest iPhone, iPad, and gadgets. They have nicer cars that many of us. Some of them are starting to get fewer and fewer invitations, but then they have kids and get into the birthday party cycle...and then it starts over again.

Cheap folks, get a clue. People are on to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like there are two groups: one who think parties are about the host and the other who thinks it's about the guests. I think good hosting is about the guests. I'm honestly stunned that anyone would defend having a party from 12:30 to 2:00 without serving lunch, let alone a party for little kids.

No shit! Feed the kids, big deal. Throw some hot dogs at them!

snowflake does not eat processed meats!
I'm never going to a party hosted by you ever!
how rude and cheap could you be!

I think a lot of this is cultural. I've never been to a party hosted by, for example, Italian American where the tables weren't groaning with food. WASPS, on the other hand, are known for their paltry food offerings, although the booze flows freely. Think of the scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the groom's parents show up with a bundt cake...

Anonymous wrote:It seems like there are two groups: one who think parties are about the host and the other who thinks it's about the guests. I think good hosting is about the guests. I'm honestly stunned that anyone would defend having a party from 12:30 to 2:00 without serving lunch, let alone a party for little kids.

I totally agree. I really don't get the parents who won't serve anything more than cake and pretzels for a non-drop off party. I just have to ask these parents? Why even have the party if you are going to put so little effort into it? Serious question. If it is not a drop off party, presumably we are talking young kids - like no older than 4-5. It isn't like your kids are going to remember the party, so why have one at all?

I tend to go all out for parties, and certainly don't expect the same, but I do expect at least SOME food that shows some effort.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like there are two groups: one who think parties are about the host and the other who thinks it's about the guests. I think good hosting is about the guests. I'm honestly stunned that anyone would defend having a party from 12:30 to 2:00 without serving lunch, let alone a party for little kids.

And a third camp who think *kids* parties are about *kids* having fun, which may or may not involve food, and this is the Dumbest Thread Ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose it's not rude to have a no-food party, but I wouldn't do it - and now i also know that I should make sure to invite the whole family, and not just the kids - to make sure there's no awkwardness about who is welcome. I would be mortified if adults left my DD's party having felt like they weren't welcome to the food. Growing up, birthday parties in my family, even for kids, were always adult affairs, with booze and everything, with kids playing together in the garage (and having a great time with their cousins). That is really starting to make more sense to me.

Sounds fun but you won't impress the Joneses that way!

"They made Sofia and Aiden play in the GARAGE! Can you believe it! How RUDE!"

Well, such parties were enough to impress the Singhs, so I think they managed

Parties - talk about a party during naptime with no food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We had a party at a nature center that only allowed cake. I made that clear on the invitation so that people weren't expecting food.

Similar to this PP, we had a party at a park where we had to bring everything in on foot for a LONG way, so I had the party from 2-4 on purpose so that we wouldn't have to bring in a ton of food. We still served watermelon, pretzels/other munchees, juice/milk/water, and cake. Drop off so no parents.

Well, you chose such a place -- no one forced you. So don't get carried away patting yourself on the back for providing some snacks. Big deal.

WTF lady? So, because she didn't trek into the park with a piece of lasagna and a steamed lobster tail for your kid to eat at 2:30pm, she sucks at life?

What strikes me about the party at the park is that you had to walk a LONG way...for a drop-off party, isn't that silly? So parents walk a LONG way, drop their kid off, walk a LONG way back to the car, sit in their cars for an hour and then trek back to the party site? Why not just invite the parents to stay? Or did you provide transit for all the kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

they were thinking you could eat lunch at noon (what?) or eat on the way there, its called a drive-through. or if you dont eat fast food pack a little lunch bag with a sandwich and a cheese stick and an apple
what are you people going to do when your kids have evening activities when they are older? write the coach a note that snowflake will be late for practice due to a scheduled dinner time?

Let's be honest: they were not thinking about their guests at all. They were thinking how special birthday snowflake really deserved a birthday party at a special venue, and 12.30 was the only time they could get. Instead of adjusting to or accomodating their child's friends or parents, they decided that everyone else could adjust to their special special plans. It's only one day; right?

Well; in a class of 20 kids + home friends, that's a lot of birthday parties and a lot of accomodating. Fortunately, most people have better sense.

PP here. Yes that's why I think this party from 12:30-2 with no food is crazy. We will be driving during lunchtime. I either have to feed my DS early lunch or carry lunch with me and give it to him at the party. Both don't sound good. I don't know why the host did it. My son is good friends with the b'day girl so we are going but I am so inclined to call in with an excuse.

Seriously, what is wrong with you? You can feed your kid at 11:30 one day and he/she will not die from it. I always serve tons of food at parties, but not all parties are the same and not all people like to throw the same kind of parties. I bet you have never been to a party that didn't serve any food, just parties that didn't serve the kind of food you like. Some people eat snacks during this window and some people eat a full meal. Some families eat dinner at 5:00 and some eat at 7:00. As an adult, I have been to tons of adult parties/social events where I left hungry or didn't like the food so ate when I got home. This is part of life.

Anonymous wrote:OMG, ENTITLED MUCH! There is no law saying food has to be served to fill your bellies at a party. Eat beforehand and just shut up, OR DO NOT GO TO PARTIES!!!!!!!

Of course there is no "law" regarding serving food at a party. Yet, in many many cultures a good host feeds her/his guests. Go ahead and skip food, but you are then a crappy host.

I shouldn't even comment on this thread because in real life I only know one family who ignores this basic custom. Everyone else (regardless of race, culture, income, # of children) knows you feed guests.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like there are two groups: one who think parties are about the host and the other who thinks it's about the guests. I think good hosting is about the guests. I'm honestly stunned that anyone would defend having a party from 12:30 to 2:00 without serving lunch, let alone a party for little kids.

No shit! Feed the kids, big deal. Throw some hot dogs at them!

It seems like there are two groups: one who think parties are about the host and the other who thinks it's about the guests. I think good hosting is about the guests. I'm honestly stunned that anyone would defend having a party from 12:30 to 2:00 without serving lunch, let alone a party for little kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted a part for 4yo DC where all the parents stayed. It was from 1-3 and I served real food. Sandwiches, mac 'n cheese, fruit, veggies, etc. and it was ALL gone at the end of the party. So that tells me that people were hungry. Even if I hosted a party from 2-4, I'd serve heavy snacks, not just chips and dip. I think it's better to have too much than too little.

I once went to a party (not a drop-off) that started at 1pm and all they served were pretzels and cake. Some of the kids had come from soccer didn't have time to eat beforehand so by the time the party ended at 3 or 4, they were starving and cranky.

The food being gone doesn't mean that people were hungry...it just proves the adage that people will eat what is FREE. If you had put out a bag of flour and a half eaten apple, that would have been fine too.

Maybe your friends are like that. Mine aren't.

And what are people who choose to be friends with you like...humorless fat asses who stuff their pie holes at 3 pm because they can't go two hours in the afternoon without eating a full meal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We had a party at a nature center that only allowed cake. I made that clear on the invitation so that people weren't expecting food.

Similar to this PP, we had a party at a park where we had to bring everything in on foot for a LONG way, so I had the party from 2-4 on purpose so that we wouldn't have to bring in a ton of food. We still served watermelon, pretzels/other munchees, juice/milk/water, and cake. Drop off so no parents.

Well, you chose such a place -- no one forced you. So don't get carried away patting yourself on the back for providing some snacks. Big deal.

WTF lady? So, because she didn't trek into the park with a piece of lasagna and a steamed lobster tail for your kid to eat at 2:30pm, she sucks at life?