Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm home, even though my kids are at school. Not sure how families with two working parents do it. I sincerely admire them and appreciate how much more they do. Our life is pretty stress-free. It feels like someone is always sick, someone always has a dentist/orthodontist/doctor appt. A car needs to be serviced, etc. Admittedly, I'm a shitty housekeeper, but my husband is fairly laid back about it and gets it. Mostly, he's relieved that he can work when he needs to, travel for work when he needs to and have dinner and homework taken care of. Right now, my kids are off on break until January. No worries about camps/childcare. I do miss working and am considering a P/T position that opened up in my field. But I'm happy being home and am never "bored."
Have you ever asked families with two full time working parents how they do it? My DH and I both take time off work for sick kids, car appointments, etc. and take turns going on business travel. It's really not that difficult.
The ones I know are always calling me to pick up their kids from aftercare b/c they will get a dollar a minute or drive their kid from soccer practice to camp in the summer or take their kid to girl scouts. Not that difficult? Perhaps you have the luxury of a flexible, forgiving job. Not all of us can be lucky (or so snide).
Anonymous wrote:"It is about household management that allows for a relaxed, less stress home environment that isn't rushed and includes a lot of quality time together and still able to get to activities/early bedtimes/date nights/time with the kids."
I think both parents should contribute financially and with the children/household in material ways.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have not problem with women staying home and I'm sure they can fill their days, or have a lot of time to relax, or whatever. It just struck me from the many posts about how their staying home keeps DH stress free, and while I agree that if DH was making my salary + his and I stayed home, he may be less stressed, I just would resent the hell out of him. We both love our jobs, maybe that is why. Between activities and school and DH going in late to cover mornings while I go in early and get home earlier, the kids are either with him or at school/activities at least 35 hours a week, which is a nice amount of time for me to make a living. I realize not everyone wants this and that's fine...it just struck me that all these DH's have stress-free lives and the moms are doing a lot of household management. But, I suppose it's not a sacrifice if you don't mind it or would rather not be working.
I doubt many of us have DHs whose lives are stress free. It isn't about trying to keep his life stress free it is about reducing the stress in all of our lives. This isn't about scurrying around so your DH never has to do anything or trying to anticipate his every whim. It is about household management that allows for a relaxed, less stress home environment that isn't rushed and includes a lot of quality time together and still able to get to activities/early bedtimes/date nights/time with the kids. We both greatly value what the other brings to the household and we both realize and appreciate the sacrifices each has made to enable their part. Both our lives have stress - his working reduces my stress, my household management reduces his stress - together we reduce the kids stress. It is a win-win-win.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm home, even though my kids are at school. Not sure how families with two working parents do it. I sincerely admire them and appreciate how much more they do. Our life is pretty stress-free. It feels like someone is always sick, someone always has a dentist/orthodontist/doctor appt. A car needs to be serviced, etc. Admittedly, I'm a shitty housekeeper, but my husband is fairly laid back about it and gets it. Mostly, he's relieved that he can work when he needs to, travel for work when he needs to and have dinner and homework taken care of. Right now, my kids are off on break until January. No worries about camps/childcare. I do miss working and am considering a P/T position that opened up in my field. But I'm happy being home and am never "bored."
Have you ever asked families with two full time working parents how they do it? My DH and I both take time off work for sick kids, car appointments, etc. and take turns going on business travel. It's really not that difficult.
Anonymous wrote:If she's not showering or bathing daily, SUPER RED FLAG for depression. Have you read up on common symptoms?
Anonymous wrote:I have not problem with women staying home and I'm sure they can fill their days, or have a lot of time to relax, or whatever. It just struck me from the many posts about how their staying home keeps DH stress free, and while I agree that if DH was making my salary + his and I stayed home, he may be less stressed, I just would resent the hell out of him. We both love our jobs, maybe that is why. Between activities and school and DH going in late to cover mornings while I go in early and get home earlier, the kids are either with him or at school/activities at least 35 hours a week, which is a nice amount of time for me to make a living. I realize not everyone wants this and that's fine...it just struck me that all these DH's have stress-free lives and the moms are doing a lot of household management. But, I suppose it's not a sacrifice if you don't mind it or would rather not be working.
Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your issue? So what if you hear the washing machine, some loads take longer then others. And so what if she picks up the kids toys when you're home, one could argue your kids should be doing that. Is something else going on? Does she seem depressed? I would be if I had to live with you, but aside from that, does she? You just seem very micromanaging from where I sit. You mention she hasn't done long term projects, what are these? And does the school day allow for them? What with Christmas and spring break and summer kids aren't in school all that long. Don't forget snow days and teacher workdays.