Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

The guy's marriage was probably broken long before the other woman came along. He would eventually have left his wife even if he didn't have an affair. The affair was just validation that he could be happy with someone else and that there were other options than sticking with a crappy marriage.

I always say it takes 2 to make a marriage, and 2 to break it. There has to be something wrong for the other spouse to have an affair. To be angry at the third party is natural, because that is what you need to do in order to be innocent, and to admit that you are not so perfect is hard.
All relationships are not long term, neither are all marriages

It takes two to break a marriage, but only one to have an affair. Sorry, but that's like blaming alcoholism on a bad marriage. "I drink because our marriage sucks!" It's just blaming, and the affair is just a clutch. The vast majority of affairs cause a lot of pain for everyone involved, including those in the affair. It's short-term gain/instant gratification for a long of long term mess, usually.

PP -

As someone who has had an affair, from my perspective did it hurt my husband? Yes. Did it hurt the other man's wife? Yes. Did it hurt me and the guy I had an affair with? No. We both had already checked out of the marriage long before the affair began.

If we were happy in our marriages, would we have been drawn to each other? Probably not. Are we happier now that our marriages are over? Yes. Sure we probably should have separated and divorced first but we both were unsure of that final step. I think the fact that we found each other confirmed to us that our marriages were over.

Hard to understand unless you have been there.

I disagree. Acting selfishly with no regard for anyone but you always hurts you in the end.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

The guy's marriage was probably broken long before the other woman came along. He would eventually have left his wife even if he didn't have an affair. The affair was just validation that he could be happy with someone else and that there were other options than sticking with a crappy marriage.

I always say it takes 2 to make a marriage, and 2 to break it. There has to be something wrong for the other spouse to have an affair. To be angry at the third party is natural, because that is what you need to do in order to be innocent, and to admit that you are not so perfect is hard.
All relationships are not long term, neither are all marriages

It takes two to break a marriage, but only one to have an affair. Sorry, but that's like blaming alcoholism on a bad marriage. "I drink because our marriage sucks!" It's just blaming, and the affair is just a clutch. The vast majority of affairs cause a lot of pain for everyone involved, including those in the affair. It's short-term gain/instant gratification for a long of long term mess, usually.

PP -

As someone who has had an affair, from my perspective did it hurt my husband? Yes. Did it hurt the other man's wife? Yes. Did it hurt me and the guy I had an affair with? No. We both had already checked out of the marriage long before the affair began.

If we were happy in our marriages, would we have been drawn to each other? Probably not. Are we happier now that our marriages are over? Yes. Sure we probably should have separated and divorced first but we both were unsure of that final step. I think the fact that we found each other confirmed to us that our marriages were over.

Hard to understand unless you have been there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

The guy's marriage was probably broken long before the other woman came along. He would eventually have left his wife even if he didn't have an affair. The affair was just validation that he could be happy with someone else and that there were other options than sticking with a crappy marriage.

I always say it takes 2 to make a marriage, and 2 to break it. There has to be something wrong for the other spouse to have an affair. To be angry at the third party is natural, because that is what you need to do in order to be innocent, and to admit that you are not so perfect is hard.
All relationships are not long term, neither are all marriages

It takes two to break a marriage, but only one to have an affair. Sorry, but that's like blaming alcoholism on a bad marriage. "I drink because our marriage sucks!" It's just blaming, and the affair is just a clutch. The vast majority of affairs cause a lot of pain for everyone involved, including those in the affair. It's short-term gain/instant gratification for a long of long term mess, usually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

The guy's marriage was probably broken long before the other woman came along. He would eventually have left his wife even if he didn't have an affair. The affair was just validation that he could be happy with someone else and that there were other options than sticking with a crappy marriage.

I always say it takes 2 to make a marriage, and 2 to break it. There has to be something wrong for the other spouse to have an affair. To be angry at the third party is natural, because that is what you need to do in order to be innocent, and to admit that you are not so perfect is hard.
All relationships are not long term, neither are all marriages

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think, in a lot of cases, hating the other woman helps them feel better about themselves and less rejected by their husbands/boyfriends.

You sound like an OW.

I'm not PP or an OW, but I think this can also be true. If you're stuck on hating and blaming you don't have to think about what went wrong in the marriage, or why you chose this man, or whether you starved him. He's still the one who made a definitive choice, but there are a lot of people (men and women) who feel righteous about putting their partners in impossible boxes - no sex, no intimacy, no emotional support, whatever - and then don't want to cop to anything when the partner gives up trying to get what he or she needs in the marriage.

Just a sanctimonious Poster with no experience in this subject. Go to Off-topic so some other area since you bring NOTHING here- Buzz off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

The guy's marriage was probably broken long before the other woman came along. He would eventually have left his wife even if he didn't have an affair. The affair was just validation that he could be happy with someone else and that there were other options than sticking with a crappy marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Paul Newman left his wife and kids to marry his mistress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

A friend of mine baby sat for a family and had an affair with the dad. He ended up leaving his wife for her. They have been together for 6 yrs now, and seem to be really happy.
I know it's not nice to blame the wife, and I'm not trying to do that or excuse my friend. But apparently the wife was just a miserable person. To him and the kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

The guy's marriage was probably broken long before the other woman came along. He would eventually have left his wife even if he didn't have an affair. The affair was just validation that he could be happy with someone else and that there were other options than sticking with a crappy marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a marriage breaks because of the other women. Men do actually leave their wives for someone else. And sometimes the marriage with the other woman is a happy marriage that lasts.
I know one such family.