Anonymous who thinks she's only 4- OK my ex husband and I were together for 12 years I thought I was wife 3, and he remarried almost desperately the actual divorce was final for 2 or 3 days wow he even picked the same colors as wife 2 - sorry off track , anyway after our divorce I kept in contact with wife "s" and wife "b-1" because I have a b name as well, so after doing some looking and talking I was actually wife 4 and did not know it... there was a wife 't" that I didn't even know about plus we talk all the time about his new wife 5 "h" who decided to tell mother in-law that one of his ex's wanted him back which is making it hard on their relationship..... which NO one wants him back, but he has sent me a letter about I'm the only one that can make him happy/ also he has told me and our daughter she's just a cash-cow and also spilled the beans of "h" wife now 5 insecuritys.... do you really want to take the risk?

Anonymous wrote:I'd be extremely cautious. You may call me a hypocrite but I've been divorced 3x. It's not a matter of "not knowing what you want". In all 3 cases the men wanted a "good woman" but they changed as soon as we married. I admit I should have dated them longer before I married them. The last two were only 6 months. They were able to hide alot in that amount of time! I stayed with #1 7 yrs. 7 yrs. of him cheating and then apologizing, etc.... 2nd one couldn't stand to be apart. Wanted to see me daily. I even took a class after wk. to put some space between us. He was happy, loving, etc. UNTIL I sd. I do! Suddenly it was like he argued ab out everything. Shut himself off in a room with his stereo and books and then wanted to have passionate sex no matter how he was treating me! So, about 3 yrs. later I met another guy (last two were at church!) He admitted to PAST issues with drugs because he knew I would hear that about him from people who knew him in high school; but at the age of 35 he claimed that was all in the past. Guess what? NOT! Within a month of marrying him he left a job saying he got fired. Eventually admitted he couldn't pass the drug test. Sat around letting me work and support him while he sd. he was looking for work. Turned out he was "waiting for one that paid what he felt he was worth! Obviously a loser! So, ask the person who has gone thru 3 divorces if they would marry again! Probably not without alot of time and making sure Jekyl/Hyde situation isn't going on!

You are the biggest part of your picking-the-wrong-men problem; you realize that, right?

Op, my answer is no as well. Someone I know married a guy on his third marriage. He has children with each wife. I just don't think their marriage will last. Odds and statistics, among other things, are against them. I would rather date someone for a long time than be straddled with another divorce.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I'm not dating the guy, but my GF is. All three are divorces.

Yes and I'd dump you as a chatty little friend.

Anonymous wrote:I'm interested in your thoughts.

Yes.

There are some good stories here.

I know someone on the 6th or 7th marriage. Train wreck.

no

DH has been divorced twice. It was definitely a caution sign for me. First marriage was at 18. He grew up without plans/aspirations for college and married high school sweet heart. A few years into it, things fell apart, as teen marriages often do. 2 nd marriage, he met wife in grad school. Married for almost 15 years. He would describe it as a calculated marriage. No love, just two stable people thinking they could make a go of things. By all accounts a boring marriage, and she eventually had an affair. Well, she said she did, but then later came back and said she didn't but was just seeking attention. Regardless, it was the out he was looking for and they divorced.
All this is to say, it's not ideal and def provided for some initial insecurities for me, as this was my first marriage.
I would encourage anyone who is thinking of marrying someone who is divorced, to look not at the number alone. Look at how they regard their ex spouse. Are they civil? Do they still share friends ? Do they spend time bashing the other person? Those types of things are bigger red flags to me.

I'd be extremely cautious. You may call me a hypocrite but I've been divorced 3x. It's not a matter of "not knowing what you want". In all 3 cases the men wanted a "good woman" but they changed as soon as we married. I admit I should have dated them longer before I married them. The last two were only 6 months. They were able to hide alot in that amount of time! I stayed with #1 7 yrs. 7 yrs. of him cheating and then apologizing, etc.... 2nd one couldn't stand to be apart. Wanted to see me daily. I even took a class after wk. to put some space between us. He was happy, loving, etc. UNTIL I sd. I do! Suddenly it was like he argued ab out everything. Shut himself off in a room with his stereo and books and then wanted to have passionate sex no matter how he was treating me! So, about 3 yrs. later I met another guy (last two were at church!) He admitted to PAST issues with drugs because he knew I would hear that about him from people who knew him in high school; but at the age of 35 he claimed that was all in the past. Guess what? NOT! Within a month of marrying him he left a job saying he got fired. Eventually admitted he couldn't pass the drug test. Sat around letting me work and support him while he sd. he was looking for work. Turned out he was "waiting for one that paid what he felt he was worth! Obviously a loser! So, ask the person who has gone thru 3 divorces if they would marry again! Probably not without alot of time and making sure Jekyl/Hyde situation isn't going on!

Would anyone? Unless he were very rich and you could guarantee millions in the prenup?

Why bother getting married? Date. Live together.