It’s really troubling to read the nasty tone of the responses of the educators on this thread. In the beginning of the year (and at other events throughout the year depending on the child’s grade) the parents are welcomed to back to school night and to chat with you via conference where one face is shown and then you get on here and show another face. We are involved to support and advocate for our children as needed. I don’t see any issues with that, they are not adults yet. The children should definitely develop the skills to advocate for themselves but that can take more time for some. The lack of empathy and the level of shoulder chips here are really unfortunate and unnecessary and not a good look for the school you represent. Is someone holding you hostage in your position? If you are not satisfied with your professional situation, then resign.

We tend to pay these exorbitant tuition amounts for the community approach and the way all parents are being lumped into one generalized bucket is concerning and quite frankly makes me want to be more involved then less.

Big shoutout and thanks to all the kind, collaborative and genuine educators, administrators and staff out there! I see you and this rant (that will get me put on the naughty list) is not for you.

Anonymous wrote:How much do you have to give on top of tuition to get the "you own us and we'll do whatever you want us to do" treatment at a Big 3 school?

It’s really not great for your kid to get into this kind of relationship with the school. You need them to be able to be honest with you.

Anonymous wrote:How much do you have to give on top of tuition to get the "you own us and we'll do whatever you want us to do" treatment at a Big 3 school?

Probably more than you currently have, if you are asking this question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on the other side of this. Despite trying to be a fair grader while maintaining academic standards, every semester there is at least one student who didn’t make the cutoff but believes that they should get a higher grade for no other reason than that they were so close. No other reason! It is as if they believe grade boundaries should not exist, or that boundaries should be flexible just for them. I always explain it’s not fair to move the boundary down one point to an 89 just because that’s where a student landed and they “worked hard” and were disappointed about it. Imagine if I actually did this. Then I would probably get approached by kids who got an 88, and so on and so forth.

Also, while I am sympathetic to kids who do not understand the concept of standards or fairness, I am more surprised when it is parents who do not understand.

Just for a record: has a parent ever offered you "some trim", as PP alleges, to fix a grade?

LOL, no. I’m assuming that was a joke.

Haha, send your child to public where some of them are known for curving their grades.

How much do you have to give on top of tuition to get the "you own us and we'll do whatever you want us to do" treatment at a Big 3 school?

Anonymous wrote:I’m on the other side of this. Despite trying to be a fair grader while maintaining academic standards, every semester there is at least one student who didn’t make the cutoff but believes that they should get a higher grade for no other reason than that they were so close. No other reason! It is as if they believe grade boundaries should not exist, or that boundaries should be flexible just for them. I always explain it’s not fair to move the boundary down one point to an 89 just because that’s where a student landed and they “worked hard” and were disappointed about it. Imagine if I actually did this. Then I would probably get approached by kids who got an 88, and so on and so forth.

Also, while I am sympathetic to kids who do not understand the concept of standards or fairness, I am more surprised when it is parents who do not understand.

Just for a record: has a parent ever offered you "some trim", as PP alleges, to fix a grade?

I’m on the other side of this. Despite trying to be a fair grader while maintaining academic standards, every semester there is at least one student who didn’t make the cutoff but believes that they should get a higher grade for no other reason than that they were so close. No other reason! It is as if they believe grade boundaries should not exist, or that boundaries should be flexible just for them. I always explain it’s not fair to move the boundary down one point to an 89 just because that’s where a student landed and they “worked hard” and were disappointed about it. Imagine if I actually did this. Then I would probably get approached by kids who got an 88, and so on and so forth.

Also, while I am sympathetic to kids who do not understand the concept of standards or fairness, I am more surprised when it is parents who do not understand.

I teach at a school frequently discussed on this board (and have been teaching for 10 years), and parents don’t seem to realize how often the grade I gave their child is already rounded up to the nicest possible version of itself, especially for a year end report card. If I can justify a higher grade without being unfair or dishonest, I want to give it! I want to reflect your child’s growth!

But asking me to round a 4 to a 5 when that 4 is really a 3.8 is too much.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is tragic.

The education enterprise in the US is tragic indeed.

Anonymous wrote:My middle school DC had one imperfect grade first semester. I requested a call with the teacher to ask what DC could do to improve the grade. The teacher started out the call on the defensive, until he realized I just wanted to be able to give DC a list of specific things to improve on. I came away with that list, and communicated it to DC. DC chose to act on some but not all items, and second semester's grade in that class was accordingly higher, but not by quite enough to move the needle. And I wouldn't dream of complaining, I'm so glad DC can draw a direct line from not quite doing everything the teacher requested to not quite making the grade!

^ this is the way

Three kids at Sidwell with some doing better than others. I've never thought about complaining to a teacher about a grade. At best, that kind of thing is helicopter parenting, and at worst - it's a form of cheating. Shame, shame, shame. Your kid is the student. They need to advocate for themselves or just work a little harder next time.

My middle school DC had one imperfect grade first semester. I requested a call with the teacher to ask what DC could do to improve the grade. The teacher started out the call on the defensive, until he realized I just wanted to be able to give DC a list of specific things to improve on. I came away with that list, and communicated it to DC. DC chose to act on some but not all items, and second semester's grade in that class was accordingly higher, but not by quite enough to move the needle. And I wouldn't dream of complaining, I'm so glad DC can draw a direct line from not quite doing everything the teacher requested to not quite making the grade!

Anonymous wrote:This thread is comical and sad and pathetic.

I see it differently - if this is what everyone else is doing I need to step my game up. Motivation, not disappointment. I did not realize how many around me were fighting so hard for these bumps up while I sat on the sidelines.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I discreetly offered the teacher some trim and they accepted. Everybody ended up ahead.

I’ll take fiction for $200, Alex.

I'll take satire for $300.