Anonymous
Post 06/16/2026 20:52     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:5 months is just so young, OP. Did you expect your career and your life to be the same and your wife to do 100% of the bending so you could have your dream of being a family man??


This is really not fair. It seems like thier plan was daycare. Wife now wants to change the plan. OP is wondering if thats normal.

5 months is not "so young". Its 5 months. If your leave doesn't last that long you need childcare. All families make their own decisions on what is right for their situation. But if youre taking your baby to daycare, the logical thing is to pick them up at the end of the work day. This is "normal" in so far as there is a normal choice.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2026 16:36     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”


Maybe not on DCUM, but there are a ton of dual-income parents who are still only, gasp, middle class. Even with two incomes. So your comment is pretty ignorant. But yeah, being able to afford college and not be a burden to your kids in retirement are luxuries for the UMC these days.

I will admit I'm very risk averse after watching my aunt struggle to re-enter the workforce after my uncle died suddenly when my cousins were still young. He had some life insurance but most people don't have enough to truly replace their income.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 13:02     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”


It's fine to not want to SAH, either.


Don't have kids if you would rather not care for them if given the option.
Most people dont have the option and wish they could.


Does this apply to men too?


Never mind women have also been working forever. People are stuck in a very specific 1950s mentality.

Like do you think we stop being parents when our kids start kindergarten because they're at school part of the day?
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 12:56     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
5 months is just so young, OP. Did you expect your career and your life to be the same and your wife to do 100% of the bending so you could have your dream of being a family man??
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 12:23     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”


It's fine to not want to SAH, either.


Don't have kids if you would rather not care for them if given the option.
Most people dont have the option and wish they could.


Does this apply to men too?
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 18:01     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
She’s a selfish pig
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 17:56     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”


It's fine to not want to SAH, either.


Don't have kids if you would rather not care for them if given the option.
Most people dont have the option and wish they could.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 17:21     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”


It's fine to not want to SAH, either.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 17:05     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:Parents who love their kids deeply need 2 paychecks and have no flexibility manage to deal with daycare for infants.
Wife needs to decide stay home or full day daycare. Sheesh. Real first world drama


Yes she should get rid of part time job and do full time or stay at home
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 16:58     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 16:50     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Your wife is having a normal reaction to leaving her baby. Babies cortisol spikes at daycare. Your wife intuitively knows that and is trying to help her child. Our society is nuts, not your wife.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 16:46     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well, for how long? I could see this for a week or two when you first start daycare, and you just make sure than one or both of you has a meeting-free afternoon.

But this won’t work long term, obviously.

Pro tip: think of better phrasing than “if you u won’t do it, then it’s not happening.”


This, a transition is normal, doing this full time is not.

It's also just silly to pick up a 5 month old at 1 or 2PM because that's often their long nap time. Doing a transition just before nap isn't a good idea.


This! My kids both slept from 1-3:30 or 4 at that age.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 16:45     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your wife should be a SAHM if she can't handle baby being in daycare.


Maybe that’s what she wants and OP won’t allow it. There is no way I would have sent my 5 month old to daycare.


That is such an ignorant thing to say.



Agreed, so many people do. People all over the world do this but you pp is above everyone.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 16:42     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.


Dude. You need to make it work. Block your diary. Make it known you have pickup on such and such days at x hour and make them respect that. This is what normal workers do.

Signed, another dude who was doing that shit 20 years ago. It's not that hard.

Also, quit whining. Man up already.


Wow, I'm a female it type and I never had that kind of flexibility with any job. I worked for a pharmaceutical co, as a govt contractor and as a direct govt employee and never would have been allowed to do such a schedule.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 16:18     Subject: Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ours was in daycare starting at 3 months. We both work FT OOH. Drop off before work and pickup after work. Child is fine. Many people do this.


Same. Kids are thriving now. And I am some times nostalgic for the all day easy daycare vs elementary school schedules!


So you liked having your child gone all day and now find it oppressive to be with them. Why did you have them exactly?


I obviously had children so I could pay for them to disappear. Duh. Why did you have kids?