Anonymous wrote:Going back to the dog, I grew up with GSPs. A GSP is the type of dog that really is a commitment. They need at least two hours of rigorous exercise and mental stimulation every day. I don't know your girlfriends situation but it's not like a GSP needs to be babied so much as they need dedicated owners who are outdoors a lot and have the time and money to invest in its health and quality of life. A GSP is not the kind of dog for apartments in cities. They are hunting dogs for people who actually use them to hunt, or for people who are very very outdoorsy which seems to be the case with your girlfriend. If you share a love for the outdoors, then it may be worth it to work things out and agree to some sort of compromise as to which rooms are couches the dog can be allowed. If you aren't very active or don't enjoy spending weekends hiking with your dog, then a GSP is not right for you and a GSP owner is not the girlfriend for you.
And yes, they are VELCRO DOGS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Face it, OP wants a woman at his beck and call, to live as he sees fit, and when he has time for her.

OP, move on. She's too independent for your neediness.

This is spot on. I hope the GF dumps him and finds a man who respects that she has needs, interests, and responsibilities in her life other than just him.

Anonymous wrote:OP try expanding your dating pool outside of white women as the odds for encountering this would then be minimal.

Anonymous wrote:Face it, OP wants a woman at his beck and call, to live as he sees fit, and when he has time for her.

OP, move on. She's too independent for your neediness.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is a huge red flag, OP. Talk to her openly if this is what she wants. If she doesn't improve then her actions speak louder than words and you need to decide what to do after that. I would break up with this level of neglect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (45M) girlfriend (40F) has a dog whom she loves as a child. I have two teenage kids with my ex (shared custody) and GF does not have or want children of her own.

I like dogs, but my girlfriend is devoted to her dog at another level. Not so much in the weird annoying babyish way like taking her dog in a stroller or something like that, but in the way that the dog is pretty central to her home life and has to be accounted for in any or all plans. The dog is a rescue German Shorthaired Pointer (GSP) that has very high exercise needs. Every other weekend, my girlfriend must take the entire day to go on a hike or “spend quality time with my dog.” The dog is allowed on all the furniture except the bed which was a compromise. It also has to come with us for every trip we take unless it is a plane trip. She’s a nice dog, but is very attached to my GF and kind of a neurotic Velcro dog.

Is this normal for a 40-year-old woman? Or is this a red flag? I want to invest in this relationship but I understand that neither of us is each others priority. My kids come first, of course, but with her, I think I’m in third place, behind (1) her 78-year-old mother and (2) her dog.

It's normal to take good care of other living beings. It's actually a good sign of her responsibility. However, it doesn't reflect well on you that you're unhappy in life if you're not #1 or 2. Why do you feel such a need to rank and judge? Why is it not ok for her to put two living beings higher in importance than you, when you are clear that your kids will always come first. She's not number 1 to you either. Don't you think that's a little sexist?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since your GF doesn't have children, the dog is her "child". It's obvious that the dog is attached, because she gets so much attention. Childless women (and men) in their 40s are self-centered and will not compromise much, they've never had to put someone else's needs before their own. Not sure you want to deal with all this.

You sound envious. Sorry parenting is more than you anticipated. Lol

Envious of what? Not having to exercise a dog daily because I have children?

Nope. Her freedom.

Anonymous wrote:My (45M) girlfriend (40F) has a dog whom she loves as a child. I have two teenage kids with my ex (shared custody) and GF does not have or want children of her own.

I like dogs, but my girlfriend is devoted to her dog at another level. Not so much in the weird annoying babyish way like taking her dog in a stroller or something like that, but in the way that the dog is pretty central to her home life and has to be accounted for in any or all plans. The dog is a rescue German Shorthaired Pointer (GSP) that has very high exercise needs. Every other weekend, my girlfriend must take the entire day to go on a hike or “spend quality time with my dog.” The dog is allowed on all the furniture except the bed which was a compromise. It also has to come with us for every trip we take unless it is a plane trip. She’s a nice dog, but is very attached to my GF and kind of a neurotic Velcro dog.

Is this normal for a 40-year-old woman? Or is this a red flag? I want to invest in this relationship but I understand that neither of us is each others priority. My kids come first, of course, but with her, I think I’m in third place, behind (1) her 78-year-old mother and (2) her dog.