Yes. I’d fight every step. Someday you’ll reassure yourself and the kids that you did everything you could.

Divorce. Is this the kind of relationship you want to model? An unhappy marriage, filled with disrespect and resentment?
He needs to move out and you should divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorces are trashy. Unless there’s chronic abuse, stay together

Girlllll. Bye!

It’s true. Divorce is trashy and lower middle class

Staying w a man who doesn’t want you, cares less about the kids and probably cheating is just as trashy…

Or maybe reserved for the rich.

Note that dude could always file for divorce but hasn’t. I wonder why? I suspect he wants this to be a joint decision which is in a way kind of considerate.

Anonymous wrote:Several of my mom’s girl friends (ages 60+) are living separately from their husbands (and not divorced). It’s not uncommon. I would first try to give him his own space in the house to retreat to, and then potentially if pressed, his own apartment or home nearby to make life easier for your children. Divorce is not even necessary unless one of you really wants it.

Worth considering

You for sure deserve better, OP. But I guess I don’t necessarily think that is at issue. I think the question to be answered is the unknowable one which is what is the consequence to the kids for staying/leaving and emotional toll/consequence to you for staying in a loveless marriage. It can’t be easy and I am so sorry. But maybe you grew up in a loveless home so it is familiar?

I agree with the PP who suggested you talk to a lawyer. It will be worth it to get your financial side in order if your husband is in fact interested and motivated to leave the marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorces are trashy. Unless there’s chronic abuse, stay together

Girlllll. Bye!

It’s true. Divorce is trashy and lower middle class

Op, I didn’t read any other post except your first one.

OP, do you belive you deserve better?

In normal relationship sometimes you falling in and out of love. It s pretty normal but you don’t keep telling your partner that I don’t love you anymore, I want out etc. Because at that points, it got to the point of no return.

However, your husband repeatedly did that. I believe you deserve better, OP. Even if you don’t find someone head over heels with you in the future, to me, be by myself is better than being with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.

Yes. Stay in the marriage and if he wants to leave, let him initiate. However, protect yourself and the kids by seeking advice of an attorney now.

Be kind. Be firm and be in it for the kids. Sorry to say that of all the options, and none look that great, this one is the one with the most optimal path for the kids.

He prob won’t come around and love you again. So for your sake, find things - hobbies and friendships - outside of your marriage that make you as happy and fulfilled as possible.

Anonymous wrote:Several of my mom’s girl friends (ages 60+) are living separately from their husbands (and not divorced). It’s not uncommon. I would first try to give him his own space in the house to retreat to, and then potentially if pressed, his own apartment or home nearby to make life easier for your children. Divorce is not even necessary unless one of you really wants it.

+1
Lots of living in separate rooms or apart or tons of work travel, deliberately.

And there’s usually mental disorder(s) at play with one partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I can't believe how many people support your idea to having this relationship limp along on life support. Why don't you want better for yourself? I know it's unfair, it's not how things were suppose to end up, but have some self respect and accept reality!

Troll

Troll? She’s 100 percent right. A loveless marriage does the kids no favors

Lots of marriages are loveless 10 or 15 or 20 years in. Some people don’t know how to love, or work is too important to them.

Several of my mom’s girl friends (ages 60+) are living separately from their husbands (and not divorced). It’s not uncommon. I would first try to give him his own space in the house to retreat to, and then potentially if pressed, his own apartment or home nearby to make life easier for your children. Divorce is not even necessary unless one of you really wants it.

Coparent in the same house or next door. At some point when the kids are older you can have a conversation with them about your arrangement. Do not think they will not figure it out that there is something "missing" in your relationship. But barring abuse, stay for now. I am not sure I would "fight" for this, just live separate lives but coparent.

Anonymous wrote:Divorces are trashy. Unless there’s chronic abuse, stay together

Girlllll. Bye!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I can't believe how many people support your idea to having this relationship limp along on life support. Why don't you want better for yourself? I know it's unfair, it's not how things were suppose to end up, but have some self respect and accept reality!

Troll

Troll? She’s 100 percent right. A loveless marriage does the kids no favors